Small-v vocation

Sticks and stones? Sometimes kids can hurt your feelings.

Yesterday was my first time in my observation placement for this semester (the one with third graders vs the one with 4th and 5th graders) and it was INSPIRING. These kids were amazing and their teacher made it look so easy. She must have set up some serious classroom management practices in the beginning of the year because they were respectful little angels. I took copious notes.

In September, I started teaching a class of third graders at the church nearby my university. This is my first year of grad school as I work toward my elementary education masters and I wanted some extra in-class experience. Plus, I loved the 1st graders I helped teach a couple years ago and I was ready for that rush again.

Really?

I've thought of many reasons why this year's CCD class has been so challenging (I wasn't there for the first class, so I couldn't set up a classroom management system; they only see us for one hour a week, so why would they listen to us? And they have the. most. boring activity books), but on Sunday I realized I need to just start the journey from wherever my feet are right now. Every Sunday feels like a struggle for power with these kids and it weighed on me.

This weekend I faced one of my biggest fears: a little kid said something negative about me to my face. Ouch. Way to challenge my faith in myself, kid. Needless to say, I spent some time in the dumps over it.

Yesterday I felt more comfortable with the kids in the class I visited than I do with my CCD class. It could be due to knowing I had a fresh start or because the teacher had such a great classroom environment already set up. However, I think it was mostly due to my own relief.

There. I'm relieved I finally had a bad moment as a teacher. I was worried that would happen and now that it has, I can move on and improve myself. Phewwww.

I Get To...

...marry my best friend!!

God is so good to me! A) Savior, thank You! B) Thanks for sending me a great dad! One who gave his blessing to C) My wonderful fiancé!!

In case you were wondering, I had Life for breakfast (yes, yes, I did) on the last morning before agreeing to marry my best friend! We went on a hike on, in my humble opinion, the most beautiful day in the whole wide world.

We walked up the mountain as boyfriend and girlfriend and walked down it as fiancés. Okay, so we didn't walk. I basically ran down that mountain.

A favor from YOU, please!

Hello friends! May I beg you for a favor?
A few months ago, I quietly shared that I am going back to school for a masters in elementary education. Woooohoooo!! 
So now for the favor. There is a (funny, but awesome) scholarship out there linked to how POPULAR I am and how COOL my friends are (that's you!). The more clicks, the higher my chances of getting the scholarship and the higher the chances of me sneaking Christian messages into public classrooms. 
Yes, I will have a crucifix and prayer cards on my desk. If they let me.
Please click here and then click "sponsor me" to help me become a grade school teacher! Just by clicking on "sponsor me" you essentially vote for me to get this scholarship. That's all! I appreciate your click!

I also appreciate you pinning this (click to pin), tweeting (click to tweet), Facebook posting, emailing, or ANYTHING you feel willing to do. Again, this costs NOTHING for you or your friends. It's just about clicks!

God bless you!

UPDATE:

For more scholarships: I highly recommend Fastweb to anyone who is even *considering* going to school to register and check it out.

Oh, hello - 7QT, Volume 53

Visit ConversionDiary.com for more!

*1*

Hello.

*2*

I discovered something about myself a few years ago. My passionate nature allows me to focus intensely on three things at one time. The fourth thing either bounces off my passion shield (Be gone, archery! We have no room for you here!) or schooches its way into my heart. 

Jesus' yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Of course, said schooching fills me to the brim (I run full steam ahead with three passions) and one lonely item must leave the nest for a little while.

I think you know what lost out this time around.

*3*

Why?

1. Because my personal relationships started to get elbowed out because of number two...

2. I got a part-time job as a youth activities coordinator at my church. It was the tipping factor that indirectly asked me to bop out one of my intensities.

At first, I thought I could do it all. I was going to ORGANIZE myself into success. It's a pipe dream I'm determined to fulfill, but for now the solution was to leave blogging out in the cold.

*4*

So youth ministry is completely different than I thought it would be! I have taught Theology of the Body to teens for almost two years now, but that requires so little prior preparation that I was fooled into thinking youth ministry was as carefree.

It's invigorating and fulfilling, while poking dozens of tiny holes in my reality. I thought I was an organized person (and a psych test agrees... more on that later), but this job has made me realize I need to ENFORCE organization on myself. It doesn't just take care of itself.

*5*

Coin Rubbage

One step in becoming more organized is also my next big piece of news: I'm moving out of my parents' house! I moved into this house as a toddler and I'm moving out a month before my 25th birthday.

To those graduating in May:

Your decision to live at home depends entirely on your discernment and your parents' willingness/insistence. The first thing anyone says when I tell them I "still live at home" is, "ALRIGHT, YOU'RE SMART!" accompanied by their fingers rubbing imaginary coins together in front of my face.

While, yes, I did save money (while paying a reduced rent), the best benefit of "staying at home" is precisely what you took for granted throughout your senior year of high school:

No one can quantify the value of coming home to people who love you. To wake up in a house where I brought home my first "A," while my now-landlords clapped and squealed in excitement is invaluable to me. My wonderful parents and I reconnected as adults and I learned more from them in the last two, perspective-rich years than I did since that first homework assignment.

Thank you, Mommy and Daddy! I'm moving on to learn more, but I love the home you created between all of us.

*6*

My areas of interest. So I like art.

My full-time job provided me with the opportunity to take the Birkman assessment. Ask my family and my beau and they will tell you I can't shut up about it.

Ask me and I tell you I'm enthusiastic about it because I'm a big picture thinker who likes to see how things work out with a plan.

It's SO COOL to have a computer tell you, "Hey, you're insightful, you like to work in smaller groups, but too much solitude is bad for you. When you're stressed out, you will try to withdraw and procrastinate, so try to avoid that by setting up your environment with plenty of organization and time to complete your tasks."

WHAT IS COOLER than seeing your habits and brain quantified? I think I talk about it exactly the right amount of time. Beau? Care to comment? :)

*7*

Bright Maidens announcement time!

We're thinking about switching things up! This change would be reflected in the calendar (click the link, copy the URL, and use it to "subscribe" in your calendar application or format), so we'd like to hear what you think.

The topic that normally falls on a Tuesday will pertain to an entire week. Instead of asking you to write to a one-day deadline, we're giving all of us a chance to wake up a little during the week.

If you have time to write your piece for Monday, have at it! If you want to explain why you think Gilbert Blythe is the ultimate man in 7 short bullet points, please, be our guest and wait until Friday!

I hate over-using the word "busy," especially before I have children, so I won't.... but it might be nice to inject a little flexibility into the week. What do you think?

Ramen Noodle Weekends Lead to Happiness

Color me only a little surprised to read the ten happiest jobs involve playing hopscotch with the poverty line.

Forbes contributor, Steve Denning, wrote that these content individuals reported being the most satisfied with their jobs above all others, as surveyed by the National Organization for Research at the University of Chicago.

This man is happy.

People of the clergy, firefighters, authors (all of them, not just the J.K. Rowlings of the world), special education teachers, teachers, artists, operating engineers and others say they have the best jobs. Admittedly, I cherry-picked these because they are on the lower end of the pay-scale.

The other three, physical therapists, psychologists, and financial services sales agents, see benefit both on their paycheck and in the faces of those to whom they cater.

Curious, the similarities in the top ten happiest jobs, no?

Look at this in comparison to the ten worst jobs. Director of information technology, director of sales and marketing, product manager, senior web developer, technical specialist, electronics technician, law clerk, technical support analyst, CNC Machinist, and marketing manager -- call me crazy, but these jobs sound like high-paying, high-competition positions.

They're the kind of jobs that have an important image, that play a key role in the way a business, non-profit, or government entity works. Hmmm

Did you see what is right at the top of the ten happiest jobs? It's much like the reports that only .02% of NFP-practicing married couples get a divorce... If you really put faith in numbers and quantitative evidence... follow the yellow brick road (Please refer to this post, if you are a single man and this wonderful lady if you are a single woman).

Needle and the damage done

Tattoos

"Ain't Tat Something" by Julie at The Corner with a View
Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Needle and the damage done" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

How appropriate that we review a topic like tattoos after one of the most shirtless days of the year!

In April, I made a little comment about the calf tattoos (calftoos or calftats, if you will) I saw when running in my first anything-K race. I took a dip in my gym's pool yesterday, taking a look around at the surplus of Americans celebrating America's day.

Then I started calculating how much all of that ink was worth.

A friend once showed me his three inch ankle tattoo and told me it cost him almost $200. It costs at least $60 for the tattoo artist to touch the needle to your skin. You better know what you want because not only are you paying a hefty amount upfront, but you're generally stuck with it. No pun intended, but pun emphasized.

Let's get out of my penny-pincher mind; what are the teachings and why?

Many Protestant theologians teach that the Bible forbids it, often citing this: "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh on account of the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord" (Lev. 19:28).

If these preachers stick to this (look, another pun), then I assume they also don't wear blended fabrics. Leviticus is certainly an important part of the Bible, but we need to be careful not to pick and parcel out what we want to believe from what we don't want to believe. That's how the Protestant churches lost sight of the true teaching of the Eucharist.

So what does the Catholic Church teach? The consensus among Catholic biblical scholars is that this teaching on tattoos is not part of the unchanging moral law.Cite 

Like many parts of the Catholic Church's teachings, they leave it up to the church members (you and me) to discern. The Church teaches that it is not in opposition of the Bible to tattoo oneself, but they offer sound principles explaining why, in some situations, it is sinful to be tattooed.

Sinful? Now, no one wants to hear that! Do you know how much I paid for this?! It's a picture of my dog playing a keytar, get a grip, Church!

A lot of pain for no gain. Gross.

Calm down for a second. For example, if one gets the tattoo with a bad intention, like in spite of one's parents, that person is sinning against them. If the intention of the tattoo is not one of love ("I want to piss off as many people as possible, because I can"), the evil intention makes it a sin, according to the Church.

To get a clearer understanding of these principles, read here. 

Back to the pool

After hanging out at my gym's pool, my family held a little Independence Day shindig (Happy birthday, Gramma!). One of our guests was a man who went to the Naval Academy. You would think a midshipman who is officially a member of the Navy would have dozens of tattoos by now, easily hidden, of course.

He surprised me by vehemently exclaiming that he can't think of one item he would want to have on his body for his entire life. How succinctly put!

Tattoos have a special, quiet place in my opinions. I have so many that they nestle quite nicely among the spiky, bickering items like abortion, justice and crunchy vs. creamy peanut butter (crunchy, obviously).

I have wanted a tattoo (or several) for the last fifteen years. Throughout those fifteen years, if I shared that tidbit with friends they scoffed in surprise; never could they imagine their quiet, somewhat-goodie-two-shoes friend inking herself. Part of me still wants to shovel out the ridiculous amounts of money to get one.

Much like I know not to date bad boys or have multiple drinks at a cocktail party, I know I won't get a tattoo. 

First of all, the double standard on tattoos makes them very undesirable on female skin. Yes, that's still true. No, it hasn't changed.

Second of all, after youthful days pass me by, I'm more likely to find a jalapeno pepper in the exact same place I had once paid someone to ink a strawberry.

Thirdly and most importantly, I ask myself, why do I want to get a tattoo? I can't think of a single answer at which I wouldn't roll my eyes. 

So often, tattoos are a fad that fades with youth. They skipped my parents' generation, perhaps proving their trendiness.

When I ask myself, why don't I want to get a tattoo?, I have a thousand answers. The big one: I don't want my future kids to see a tattoo on their mom.

Because of my remaining desire to get my own tattoo, I don't judge people who have their own (except to think, how in the heck did you pay for that?).  We make our own decisions in life.

Like any decision that affects us for the rest of our lives, we shouldn't take the decision to go under the needle lightly. 

The opposite of grace

My sister often touts the message, "Anxiety is the opposite of grace."

s a follow up to my Christian Commitophobia post, let's talk about the red flags the prop up when commitophobia rears it's spiky head.
 

You may know that I'm dating a wonderful man (I doubt you know how wonderful). Before him, whenever I was dating someone, I would seize up with a severe case of the "what-ifs." 

What if he's not as great as he seems? What if I get sick of him? What if he gets sick of me? What if I find someone better when we're dating? What if I miss out on who God wants me to find because I date this guy?

I would find lots of little excuses to end the relationship before it got serious, before anyone got a chance to be intimately hurt by the relationship.

In many cases, I'm very grateful for those mental pokes of "what if?" However, several months ago a friend pointed out that some of those spikes of fear can come from the devil.

Think about this: Satan's objective is to steer as many souls away from God as possible. If two good Christians who mesh well come together for the extension of God's message of Love, the devil may lose out on innumerable souls.

A successful Christian marriage is a testimony for God and touches hundreds of souls, both directly and indirectly.

"YIKES, we can't have that!" says the devil.

Approach your romantic relationships with God in every moment. Keep prayer at the forefront of your relationship so you can take your time to realize if the doubts come from God or from the devil.

Another friend mentioned recently that thinking, "What do I know about loving a man?  I shouldn't even try this," cannot be from God.

My inevitable Christian commitophobic anxiety about my current boyfriend came several months before we started dating. I maintained the friendship with him during that time, keeping the anxiety at bay, until my confidence overpowered the doubts.

I'm always learning how to better listen to God and discern His plan for my life.

One lesson I've learned in this dating portion of my life is that the devil doesn't want couples who will help advance God's message to exist. Those successful relationships strengthen God's presence and he will do whatever he can to prevent them from growing.

If you're feeling those pangs of doubt and fear, ask yourself if it's because you're worried it won't be successful.

....Or are you worried that it will be successful? If the second, ask God to help you banish that devil out of your thoughts.

Accept them, forgive them, let it go

Think your grudges are tiny enough not to matter? Think that because you're in the right and someone else is in the wrong that you're justified in withholding forgiveness?

"Many people have been asking me, 'What can I do for you? Please, I'll do anything.' Well, here's what you can do for me. Every single one of you: please, if there's anyone in your life who you haven't accepted, whom you haven't forgiven, or against whom you hold a grudge, please, accept them. Forgive them. Let go of the grudge. Love them. This is how you can help me, this is what you can do for me. This is how we can share Christ's love with the world."

A wise, strong woman uttered these words (paraphrased) today at the podium in a Cathedral. She was standing next to her eldest son, looking out onto a sea of family and friends, pleading with them to show and share true Love.

She wanted all of us in the congregation to release the grip that the devil often places on us.

This is how we could help her, she said...

...on this the day of her teenage son's funeral.

Christian Commitophobia

Week Three: Dating

"Hillsdating and Other False Realities" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Friendship that Lasts" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Christian Commitophobia" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

This is the third post of a Lenten blog post series called "Bright Maidens." We three are from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. We're here to dispel the myths and misconceptions- please join us for the discussion!

"So you're an actively dating commitophobe who desperately wants to find Mr. Right?"

A friend recently summed up how the world categorizes my dating style. My answer to him at the time was a laugh and a "yes, you got it." But really, the answer is more complicated than that and the end result is: commitophobia isn't always a bad thing.

Break it down:

*Actively dating: yes. I'm getting to know men.

Your mom told you friendship should come first and I think she was right. You know how easy it is to be friends with someone with whom you really connect? Why deprive yourself of the same ease with a significant other? I am getting to know men as friends and taking it no faster than that, for the time being.

*Commitophobe: that's how the world sees me. I have dated several men over the years and I've gotten serious with one of them.

My 24th birthday is tomorrow. This makes me either a late bloomer (first date: age 15 -- pretty early), a weirdo (this is entirely possible, but what would that make you, dear reader?), in a place without a sufficient supply of men (that is not the case for anyone when online dating has graduated to non-sketchiness, for the most part) or a commitophobe.

*Desperately: No. Not desperately. Ouch. If I was desperately searching for Mr. Right, I think I would have found Mr. Okay Enough and married him by now.

Desperation, in this case, would cloud my mind and make me settle because the desperation would be less about finding the right person and more about hunkering down into the idea of marriage.

*Wants to find Mr. Right: check. If God is calling me to marriage, I feel prepared to meet the man I will marry. If He's not calling me to marriage, this post is still a pillar of what I believe about the subject of dating.

I want to be like them

In my teen years and in most of my college years, I felt the ache for the "kind of" companionship I witnessed in couples around me. I liked the idea of holding hands with a nice, cute boy and telling him about my day like the "other girls" did.

To have a male confidant who would be romantic and wait outside of school at the ending bell, leaning against the hood of his car, hand-picked long-stem roses in hand with a poem memorized for recitation... would be divine.

How dreamy this boy would be. He would treat me well, make me laugh, understand my cryptic humor, get along with my family, and respect my boundaries. Finally, the girls at my school would see that someone found me desirable and worthy enough to call me "girlfriend."

Insecurities like this feed like a parasite on most teenage girls. I'm so grateful to have my parents, for without the motivation to remain true to myself, I could have taken that crazy thought train into a premarital, sexual relationship with the first squeaky-voiced, teen guy who would show me any of the affection I craved.

To clarify, I was quite invisible in high school and was especially so in the minds of the the all-boys' brother school down the street. I was invisible, but I still emitted a non-silly air.

Being invisible erases the chance of pursuit by some disrespectful guy, but my demeanor prevented it, as well. A foundation of confidence supported me, though it was hidden under many layers of these insecurities, so the threat of losing myself never followed through.

Daddy

Naptime with Daddy

My hero, my Daddy, gets to take a lot of the credit for this. He was and is a spectacular part of my life and has built up quite an example of manhood. Any prospects, past or future, tend to pale in comparison.

I dated a few men in college and beyond but I often put the breaks on the momentum of the relationship, hence commitophobe. Of course, this has been an effort to avoid pain but also to avoid dating for the sake of dating.

My father's fervent devotion to our relationship and his relationships with my mother and my sisters prevents me from settling. In fact, he has made finding the right guy nearly impossible because of his example and ability to make me double over in laughter. He's ruined it for lots of men.

Why would I date someone when I can see he doesn't value the foundations that support my father's strong points?

Yes, as my friend from the beginning of the post pointed out to me, it takes a long time to get to know someone. This doesn't mean we launch into an emotional and physical relationship with everyone who shows interest in us.

When we approach dating as a way to get to know someone instead of a mid-life circus act to convince someone to like us, we can reach a level of comfort.

Taking this path allows both parties to "interview" the other in the same way they learn about other friends. If it turns out that there is something missing between you, at least you haven't fumbled through a physical relationship before its too late to get out relatively unscathed.

Another friend once described the ideal relationship between a man and woman like a triangle. As a man and a woman work toward God at the top of the triangle, they're also getting closer to each other.

Seeking to know God helps us grow closer to each other because of the Love that growing close to God fosters.

I have not always agreed with this. In fact, for a time I was pretty cavalier with giving away my kisses and entertaining the idea of dating men who didn't hold value for the walk toward God.

When it came down to it, my deep-rooted "commitophobia" prevented me from ignoring my inner voices and slapping a "boyfriend" label on the relationship.

Now I believe skipping the step of getting to know someone before allowing a physical relationship to try to push it along is counter productive. Kissing is great fun  
because of the chemicals it releases and the bond it creates between two people.

I don't want a bunch of chemicals clouding my mind in the early stage of knowing someone. My mind is cloudy enough. I'm a Christian Commiophobe.

Prepare now

It doesn't take much to set off a teen, but if you wanted to ignite my temper in high school, all you had to do was put on an "Elizabeth's Mom" mask and say the words, "It will happen when you least expect it."

So many other nuggets of my mother's advice have proven annoyingly true, so I've decided to trust that she's right. In the meantime, I'm surrounding myself with a cushion of wonderful, beautiful friends.

My close friends are good, faithful people who help me walk closer to God with each step.

Keeping them around is narrowing my choices in dating even more because I will not be caught off guard or charmed when someone treats me with respect or agrees with my core beliefs. I have a whole pile of those friends at home. Those are now nonnegotiable traits.

This was one of the hardest posts to write and I think it's because these are new conscious beliefs based on the subconscious beliefs I've held my entire life. I've always been a little afraid of getting to close to someone in a romantic relationship.


It has taken years of reflection, but I'm grateful for my commitophobia. I know I won't settle; I know I will attempt to see every friendship and relationship as a journey to Christ and to becoming who I am.

"The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little." -Thomas Merton

I love 1st graders! Week 15

You know what happens to elementary school students on ValenTIME's Day? They eat a lot of sugar.

It was Halloween part II, but they were still very manageable. This week's topic was "God's family and my family," so we got to hear a lot of interesting comparisons:

* We all Love each other.
* We all go to church on Sunday.
* Mary and Joseph don't eat spaghetti anymore, but I do.
* Jesus doesn't wear shoes in heaven, but moms make you wear them.

The most jarring part about the lesson was learning our "faith words," matrimony and marriage. As I was reading out the simple sentences explaining that matrimony is what a man and a woman enter into when they love each other and want to commit to be together for the rest of their lives... I knew I was reading to a room half-filled with the products of divorce.

I don't own the rights

The statistics were better than I'd hoped, but I think three out of ten had divorced parents and they are still at the age that sharing this is just a fact. The emotional tire marks have been left, but I don't think they have processed them consciously yet.

Immediately I reverted to my semi-childish and certainly simplistic confusion about divorce. I understand that there are abusive situations and those are tough. I do not presume to understand divorce from a first-hand perspective.

HOWEVER, there have to be moments while a couple is dating or is engaged when the hesitant thoughts or red flags perk up, suggesting it is not right. "I am not really willing to commit to this person, for better or for worse."

As a puritan, I firmly believe sex plays a big role in keeping people on the path to marriage when it's not the right path for the couple. I also know that many people don't trust that they can find someone for whom they would not be settling. People do not want to be alone.

So they take a leap that was never meant for them. And now their kids are in my classroom and I have to teach them about this holy sacrament through a vocabulary word and a definition.

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 14

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

*1*

That was a fast week! We need more weeks like this: quick, happy, and peppered with 60 degree days... oh, my condolences to everyone not living in Central Virginia. That looks like one heck of a storm.

*2*

My brain is an alphabet soup of ADHD, made worse by my music habits. If there's a song or band I like, I wear them out. I listen to a playlist filled with twenty songs over and over and over until I'm sick of it and then I move on.

(Screen shot from his website, I don't own the rights)

A few artists have captured my hearing heart and I never get sick of them. This week I inducted Phil Wickham into that high Hall of Fame. Congratulations, sir! I could listen to you forever!

Bonus points that you're a Christian singer that doesn't sound lame! Alright!

*3*

What are you doing this summer? Me? I'm watching two of my dearest friends marry their lovely fiancés!

YOU could go to SPAIN! Yes, World Youth Day is this summer in Madrid. Here's the English website outlining everything you'd need to know.

Go join a GAJILLION young people who are flocking to Madrid this summer to see Pope Benedict XVI. Witness the beauty of the young members of Christ's Church together in one city!

*4*

Have you met Sr. Lisa? I haven't, but we are both Tweeple who like tweeting about God.

She is the coolest and most social media-savvy nun I have ever seen! On top of that, she writes beautifully on her blog, nunspeak.

If you're wondering about a religious vocation, there's no need to be afraid. Hop onto her blog and just absorb. She's a gentle woman who is on fire for her faith and vocation. This grouping, in particular, is worth reading, right now. No, really, go do it. Now.

*5*

(I don't own the rights)

This one is for seniors in college and recent graduates. Is God calling you to a year of formation? 

I think God is calling all of us to a long period of formation, but you may have the opportunity (and the call) to spend an intense year getting to know Him and those who may most need His guidance: teens.

Prayerfully discern and consider applying to work as a missionary with Life Teen at one of their camps. Here is the information, take a minute and see if this is a step God may be calling you to take.

*6*

I'm a week behind in my training, but I'm going to run in the Richmond Ukrop's 10k on April 2. I haven't started panicking... yet.

How convenient that the lovely Lisa Schmidt at The Practicing Catholic wrote about her very impressive completion of a 20k race last year! As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to the gym. I promise...

The article explains how she hit several rough patches, including the tragic loss of her father, but persevered with this verse in mind: “Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1)

*7*

If you've been reading my blog for a few weeks, you may remember my Emil Daddy, my wonderful aunt, and the other pile of poo my family has faced. PU.

Well, now my Gramma needs prayers... I'm beginning to wonder: Is there ever a time period of life when you're not looking over your shoulder or organizing insurance/hospital/other confusing paper work?

Even if the answer is "No, sorry. This is how it is," I'm grateful to know there is a balance of GOOD accompanying all the bad. Praise Him that the ultimate goal is good, too!

I love 1st graders! Week 13

Whew! That was a long time to go without the unconditional love of the shortest people in my life. Oops, make that the second-shortest (see #4).

A month and a half, a whole liturgical season, and one sick week later, the kiddos were back in the classroom and we were back in business learning about how much God Loves us!

I'm not a mom, so any moms reading this will think, "Yes, they tend to do that." What do they do? They ask pertinent questions way above their supposed understanding. God is laughing at us adults, thinking we know more than these kids. We don't.

When we were talking about the Trinity, "Fahhther, Son and Hol-lee Speer-eet," one girl quietly raised her hand and said, "I don't understand."

Today, we were talking about the Mass and she said, "Why do we do it? Why do we go to Mass?"
Did I mention I love these kids? It's a simple question with a lifelong answer.

So, why do you go to Mass? Is it to get the Eucharist? That is certainly the greatest possible gift and we are not worthy, but God has said the Word and we are healed.

Is it to see your friends? Community is certainly important. Is it to make new friends?

Is it because your priest gives awesome, fulfilling homilies? Do you go despite your priest's homilies?

Why do you go?

The same wise friend I quote most of the time I'm explaining something profound shared with me a metaphor he recently heard: the Mass is like a big balloon launcher. You enter the room, God pulls back the sling shot. You hear the readings and the homily, God tugs it back farther. Jesus enters and offers himself to us in the form of the Eucharist, God inserts a big ol' water balloon in the sling shot, pulling back farther.

The priest tells us to "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord." WAPPO. There we go, armed with the Eucharist and our community to serve God and spread His word.

I love that. Whatever you do, do not bring a balloon launcher to Mass. They won't like it. Just "get launched."

Theology of the Body, Week 4

This week was the big event! The TOB for Teens class is usually rather small: four teachers and a handful of teens: between two and five... young ladies. We have yet to be graced with the presence of a brave young man.

However, this week we took the show on the road and taught the lesson to a camp mess hall room filled with 99 confirmation candidates!

Several of them wanted to be there, several were forced to be there, and others would have run the marathon distance back to civilization if their video game habits hadn't condemned them to remaining seated. One was wearing a Hooters shirt.

No matter how they got there, they all heard my fellow TOB teachers and me talk about the hope and redemption found in Jesus.

Jason Evert came up with an analogy to show a young woman, who felt used and irrevocably unclean, that she was worth the redemption that Jesus offers.

This girl, as Evert explained, had just divulged her past choices and mistakes. She had let men use her and treat her as if she wasn't worth anything. The girl asked him how she was supposed to expect Jesus to offer forgiveness. He held up a $20 bill.

"Do you want this $20?"

"Uh, yes!"

(I don't own the rights) And yes, I know it's a Benjamin.

"What if I crumble it up like this? See, it's a $20 paper ball. Do you want it?"


"Uh, yes! It's worth $20."

"What if I throw it in the dirt and grind it into the ground with my shoe? Do you want it now?"

"Yes, of course I do! It's still worth $20. You just have to straighten it out and it's good as new."


Exactly. Not only will Jesus take you as you are, all crumbled and ground in dirt, but He will straighten and iron you out until you're better than your first day.

It's a pretty simple message: we've all made mistakes. We've burned little scars and cut little holes in our hearts with each sin, especially those of a sexual nature.

As we reviewed in past classes, our bodies and our souls help make up our humanity. A sexual sin involves an intimate part of what God planned for a marital union.

It's tough to heal from the hurt, from the guilt, and from the idea that we should treat our bodies like there's something for which we are waiting.

"Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit..." -Venerable John Paul II

One is waiting for something, even if he or she has already had sex. Even if an unwed someone has had sex and continues to engage in it, there lies the potential future with their spouse and the meaningful, beautiful sexual bond they can share as a married couple.

Those who are virgins or who have made mistakes and are "recycled virgins" are also waiting for the spousal meaning of the body to come to fruition in its grandest scheme. They are preparing for it by practicing chastity while they heal.

I know I'd prefer to be prepared and as healed as possible when the waiting is over.

Lucky

What, pray tell, is more affirming than finding spiritually enlightening 

lyrics in a secular song?  

Jason Mraz's song "Lucky (ft. Colbie Caillat)" has been stuck in my head for several months and I finally started listening to the lyrics: 

Man: Do you hear me? I'm talking to you. Across the water across the deep, blue ocean, under the open sky. Oh my, baby I'm trying...

Woman: Boy I hear you in my dreams. I feel your whisper across the sea. I keep you with me in my heart. You make it easier when life gets hard.
Both: I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been. Lucky to be coming home again...

The first several times I heard "Lucky," it sounded like every other cute love song about falling for a best friend. Sorry I doubted you, Mraz: after I put the words into context, I see it's a song written to someone Mraz doesn't know but for whom he's waiting!

It's about the conviction and height of Love that we foresee for our future spouses! The affirming discovery ties in perfectly with a letter-writing habit I've had for the last few years and which I shared with my first Theology of the Body for Teens class in September.

My mom suggested that I write a letter to my future spouse at the tender age of 18, which made a great impact on how I live the social portions of my life. The first letter probably began, "Hi, this feels dumb, but I wanted to write you a letter from my first dorm room..."

It helped me start developing a list of non-negotiable qualities, of future arguments and laughing fests, of the future love of the taste of blood, and conviction for our mutual relationship in Christ.

"They don't know how long it takes, waiting for a love like this... I'll wait for you, I promise you. I will. I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend..."

Write a letter to him or her while you're waiting for him or her. You know how hard it is to wait, but if you shoot for that kind of height, that kind of feeling and commitment, you won't disappoint yourself.

Even if you write a letter to a future spouse and your call is to be a priest or a religious, the objective is the same. If you're aimed at and running towards God, you'll have the same path and conviction about your call.

If you've read this whole post, but you still haven't heard the song: watch the official video!

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 10

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com 

I'm doing this one in story format for the first few:
*1*

God has already used Emil Daddy's life and death to save someone else. My Gramma (other side of the family and the only other grandparent I've ever had) has been in a nursing home and rehab center for the last few weeks because her lumbar collapsed.

Yes, that's right, my dad stepped on a crack and broke his mother's back.

*2*

(photo from http://www.aquamedicine.no/)

The doctors went in there, squirted some cement between her vertebra, and she started healing nicely... until she caught the Norovirus that has taken over the nursing homes in Richmond. After two days of constant sickness, she seemed to be getting better when the vomiting stopped.

*3*

Keeping in mind how much we missed visiting my grandfather and how we wished we had gone to visit him more often, my sister and I decided to brave the Noro and visit her.

The woman we saw in that bed was half dead from severe dehydration and if we weren't there to notice it, she would have died. Her nurse was not pulling any muscles to help her, even when we arranged to get her to the hospital. Molasses RN.

*4*

Gramma, when she was feeling better.

If anyone reading this has a loved one, in the hospital or not, that you haven't seen in a while: A) go visit him or her. Do it. Today. B) be an advocate and don't worry about bothering the people who are paid to help them.

If we hadn't questioned their assessment, as illustrated by her sitting in a chair and not looking at my Gramma... I would have lost my other grandparent a week after I lost Emil Daddy.

Regarding the picture here... she is a hoot. She doesn't drink, but she does make us laugh.

*5*

Baby A was the loud one, but after they cleaned her, she was an angel.

I have new twin cousins! Take a look! To the beautiful baby girls: we have been waiting for you for a long time! You have a wonderful grandmother who will keep her eye on you throughout your life. Welcome to the world!

There is no patron saint of twins, apparently, but St. Scholastica and St. Benedict were twins and very important members of the Church. So: St. Scholastica and St. Benedict, pray for us!

Baby B is the quiet, calm one...so far.

*6*

My sisters have discovered a show they love: Dream Home. I don't always have the patience for home improvement shows, but they adore them.

(I do not own the rights)

The show was a season-long look at building a house in the mountains in Vermont (does that not sound riveting?). The show creators are giving away this house to a contest winner. It really is a beautiful home and it sparked a question: could you see yourself living there?

My answer is HECK YES, but not right now. If I'm going to live miles and miles from people, I would live in the mountains and nowhere else.

Yep, we applied for the contest. Did you have to ask?

*7*

Today brought one of those "Wow, God - You are sneaky and awesome." I love those because they hit me hard without notice.

Foggy goggles

"Become what you are." 

This quote from the Venerable John Paul II packs a punch. It's as simple as it sounds, but then: WAP-O, right in the self-expectation gut.

The new year brings new resolutions: weight loss, a more organized house, patience, loving more, visiting grandparents (highly recommended), or calling parents more often. These great goals contribute to bettering ourselves and to becoming who we are.

I want to dig into "becoming who I am," but I'm letting something get in my way.

A little over-rotation at the age of 7.

Since I was 13, I have defined myself as a swimmer. I still do, though I look nothing like one anymore (queue the female body image pity violin).

Each day I smelled like chlorine and loved it. I used every muscle in my body for an average of 3 to 5 hours per day. My swimming peers and I competed with each other, got into a rhythm together, shared hotel rooms, motivated each other, and empathized with the balance that only athletes in individual sports can understand.

The first time I drove by myself with my valid license was to a 4:50 AM swim practice.

You're a swimmer if you walk around the pool deck half naked as if you're fully clothed. You're a swimmer if you feel more comfortable blowing bubbles face down into water for hours on end than breathing normally in the stands at a football game.

You're a swimmer if you can hold your breath for a minute and a half without panicking. You're also a swimmer if your number one fear is that of drowning because you know just how painful not breathing can be.

I'm in the middle. I miss that feeling.

You're a swimmer if you train 25+ hours per week for 3 months just to spent a few minutes, or seconds, in your own lane to the muffled sound of cheering friends.


The reason I stopped swimming is both uninteresting and irrelevant, but the affect that the void has had is striking. I find I identify myself as a swimmer, though I am too scared to go to Masters practice regularly (Masters swimming is a structured league for adults).

I allowed "swimmer" to define me for too long. I cannot let go of the title entirely because most of my competitive nature and drive are derived from my time in the water and I would still rather smell like chlorine than anything else, but it's time to embrace my real identity in 2011.

I am a daughter in Christ and of our Lord. That's all I need to process.

This year I will be brave and go to more Masters practices. I'll use them as time for meditative prayer. How many decades can I go through in a 600m warm-up?

In my short time on Earth, I've come to too many conclusions about how to live that don't include reflection as a member of God's Church. It's time to strap on my goggles and re-focus.

Dear Diary

When I was in 6th grade and having a particularly rough, middle-school-is-the-first-taste-of-hell moment, my mom suggested I start writing in a diary. "Oh mom, what do you know? Well, I do have some spare time..." The habit stuck and I'm in my 13th year of diary divulging.

Buying a new diary is a ritual. It should look like the beholder in that stage of life -- the last one I bought was understated, painted leather, and two inches thick because I thought it could be filled with stories about meeting my husband and my first months of motherhood. That was important to me, therefore it's consistent with my needs for the diary.

Unexamined self-talk is vulnerable to worldliness and I think everyone should pour thoughts onto paper. My diaries are filled with milestones...though I cringe at virtually every teenage, twenty-year-old, and "last-week-ago" thought I've written.

Diary writing became such a big pillar in my life that I built my one and only art show around it.

Two autumns ago, I painted four main pieces and picked out a dozen pages from diaries dating back to 11-year-old me, lining the pages atop the paintings on the wall. In each of the works and on each diary page I painted some version of a black area, a consistency that represents a vehicle between all of them.

My objective was to illustrate the concept of memories and how they adapt to our lives

One lady told me that this was a pro-choice painting... news to me...

I wrote excerpts from diaries around this head thing.

When you recall memories that you've thought about before, you're looking through two lenses:

1) All of the experiences since you were younger shift your perspective on everything, including past memories. 2) Remembering a memory is an imperfect task to undertake anyway and acknowledging that opens another pocket for learning about yourself. 

For example, I remember my second birthday and that my cake had no candles on it. Remembering how my parents scrambled to find candles for their eldest child's second birthday cake is more important to me now than it was at six-years-old. At six, I was more concerned with the color of my dress. 

If God wills it, I'm closer to being the parent of a 2-year-old than I am to being a 2-year-old. Six-year-old me liked pretty dresses, simple as that.

I added more diary excerpts underneath and around the tree branches.

If you try to read this, please recognize that I was probably 18 and "artsy fartsy" for artsy fartsy's sake when I wrote it. *Groan*

Reading over the diaries to pick entries was painful and posting them up on walls for others to read them was even more painful. But that was part of the point. We are the sums of our experiences and the product of our equipment for absorbing them. By sharing my impression of this concept with others, I placed a marker in my memory and in the memory of everyone who looked at my show (and now, you). 

This memory "marker" may or may not pop up again in your life, but all seemingly inconsequential moments add up. In a few minutes, days, or years you may think back on any memory with a new perspective. 

The new perspective will meet with the old perspective and the difference will give you even more to think about. 

"I was once incapable of seeing a man as a brother in Christ first, instead of a potential mate. Thank You, God, for constantly de-clouding my vision of that. In a few years, I'll see more results from that."

Or

"Wow, 17-year-old me actually wrote the words, 'I have everything figured out.' Joke is on her... and now the joke is on me."

Or

"I use the word 'I' too much."

There will be more memory collisions in my future. I look forward to them, as embarrassing as they will be.

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 6

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

*1*

I'm no Gleek, but Finn is my new "celebrity" crush (Finn's character, I know nothing about the actor). He's such a nice guy, I love his voice (of course), and I ... really applaud God's work with that kid. Typical me: he's Canadian. I should have known because he reminds me of Gilbert Blythe, my literary crush.

I haven't raved much about Canada on this blog, but it's a joke in my family: Oh Canada, you put a spell on me.

*2*

We needed a movie with a good message:

A Walk In My Shoes - 2:33 TRLR from Moms4FamilyTV.com on Vimeo.

*3*

You may have noticed that I added a new blog to my roll over there: From Punk to Monk is a blog written by "Homeboy McCoy," a self-proclaimed former "punk." He was in the fast lane as a musician and heard God's call to become a monk. He has a great voice (I have it on good authority that he has an MFA in creative writing) and some powerful insight.

Help a brother out...

*4*

Warning: Shameless self-promotion below (that's not true, I'm feeling plenty of shame for this):

I have another site and it features my jewelry business. As soon as I lasso some time, I will make some winter-friendly jewelry, but there are plenty of pieces on there.

My friends and family make fun of me because "Elizabeth changes her mind at least once a week" (as my cousin said Wednesday night). Jewelry making (not so much jewelry wearing, actually), drawing, painting, writing, reading, swimming, kids, God, Catholicism, and more -- I have a lot of passions. I can't help it.

*5*

As I mentioned last week, my class reunited at our 5-year high school reunion on Saturday. I loved seeing my former classmates and I had a great night out! We hopped around to a few bars, though I only planned on going to the first.

Let's just say I wasn't missing anything by not knowing the boys at the guy's school... I'm sure some of them are very nice and good guys (I met several), but overall... I wasn't missing much.

*6*

I am a terrible test-taker. I have always been a terrible test-taker. I will not go into my list of reasons why tests are terrible ways to measure aptitude. Last night, I took the GRE in preparation for applying for grad school... ouch.

I scored significantly higher on the math section. And yes, you remember correctly. I'm applying to ENGLISH graduate programs.

Some of the math questions gave the option to say, "Hey! There isn't enough info here to determine this!"

I wish the verbal section had that option. "Hey! I read a lot, but apparently never came across this word in my 2 decades of literacy. Give me a break, huh?"

*7*

I'm going to be a bridesmaid! You know that old "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" bit? Not me. I have been excited about being a bridesmaid forever. Yes, there is some responsibility and there will be some challenges to juggle, but I'm light on my feet and quick to solve problems. I'm so honored that my friend chose me to be with her up there on a big catalytic day in her life!

The BBC has no faith in us

Many of you have seen this BBC list of 100 greatest novels on Facebook. Apparently, the BBC thinks most people have read only 6 of these 100 books. Show those limeys what's what. If you've read more than 6, shout out. If you haven't... read a few of them. Many of them aren't very long (Great Gatsby: love, obsession, murder, parties, all under God's watchful eyes).

You'll notice I didn't go through and show which ones I've read because I have an unfair advantage over science and econ majors.

Groan if you want to, but I'm actually disappointed that I have read only 32 with all the time I spent in English lit classes. I've gotta get crackin'!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 White Fang/The Call of the Wild - Jack London
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma -Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo