Island living: how your decisions are not independent of others

A guy I worked with as a teenage lifeguard once told me his philosophy for red lights. I was yet to earn my learner's permit, so I was all ears.

"If the person in front of me goes through the yellow or red light, then I'm going through the yellow or red light." 

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

Even as a green fifteen-year-old, this logic made no sense to me. If everyone else in the platoon (marrying a civil engineer affords me new roadway vocabulary) follow that same protocol, no one would ever stop. There would be a perpetual line of cars going through until a gap was created.

Your decisions are not your personal decisions.

Most of the time. You don't make decisions independent of every other person. All of your decisions affect other people. Especially if you're a Trinitarian-ish-ly baptized Christian who is given the titles Priest, Prophet and King. We're called to do our best.

Our feelings about what we want do not justify decisions that hurt others.

Yes, there is always mercy, especially when we ask for it with our open hearts.

Thank God, but let's remember that these traffic signals are there to guide us (not KILL ALL FUN IN ALL OF THE WORLD AND KEEP A MAN DOWN).

What's your yellow/red light philosophy?

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The 21: A Journey Into the Land of Coptic Martyrs, book review

The 21: A Journey Into the Land of Coptic Martyrs by Martin Mosebach
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Firstly, read this book to gain insight from a man seeking Truth about 21 men who showed such devotion to Jesus that they died speaking to Him at the hands of their murderers. Secondly, read this book because you'll learn more about the Coptic religious men and women in Egypt and the potential for terror that their faith steeps in on a daily basis. Thirdly, read this because it will change you from within and make you see that we, too, need to embrace the courage that God calls us to live.

I cannot believe this book was translated from German in to English. That fact, merged with the gorgeous prose of a nonfiction text, earned the five stars.

However, beyond the technical beauty of the book, there is the journey of a man in awe of the faith of other men. The book teaches while also preaching. It is a testament to what we were called to be: firstly: disciples, secondly: prophets, and thirdly: teachers. The author manages to show, not tell, that order of our faith. He does so through his journey researching the example of these men who lived, that.

Highly recommended.

I received this book for free from NetGalley and the publishers in exchange for a fair and honest review.

View all my reviews This post may contain affiliate links, which help me support my art habit, Liz Lenzi Art.

Meantime

Several weeks ago I wrote a letter to our Lord.

Allowing myself to be a little mad at God for not making answers as obvious to me as I want, when I want them, is both totally immature (childlike? Can I get credit for that?) and spiritually healthy. I must know how unconditionally he loves me because I'm willing to yell at him.

The outside world will not be privy to my entire letter to God, but I want to start educating those who might not know much about the business of family growing. It's not the fault of those who are ignorant of it. It's the responsibility of people facing infertility, or at least unintended delay in growing their family, to teach.

1 - Gratitude

One part of my letter thanked Him for blessing me beyond my deserving -- obviously so. He offered, gave, is giving, and will give me salvation, if I am open to His mercy. I had a joyful childhood, have talents and gifts, an incredible husband, a beautiful job, and the opportunities and courage God gave me to serve Him and His people. That huge list of things that makes my heart so full should be enough. My ingratitude is something on which I am working.

2 - Reflections

My letter moved on to trying to explain the perceptions I've developed in the last three years with regards to hope. I feel like I've put too many shiny silver hope coins in the machine. I'm fresh out. This leads me to divide hope into two categories: active hope and subsurface hope.

Active hope: "This might be the day we conceive!"
Subsurface hope: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me even though I feel like the exact opposite IRL."

Shiny, appealing active hope is not the right kind of faith. There is childlike faith, but then there is dealing with the consequences of assuming everything is going to happen the way you predict it.

3 - Servility

Faith (and the accompanying subsurface hope) is continuing to ask and pray to Him for His will, even when you're mad that your personal timeline is inconvenienced. Faith is knowing that God can do anything, but that he expects you to continue engaging in your life in the meantime.

"Faith is to believe what you do not see;

the reward of this faith is to see what you believe."  

--St. Augustine

I don't see what I'm supposed to do in the meantime as I wait for the fulfillment of my vocation, I wrote in my letter to God. "I know I'm not doing this right; I know the Devil has my ear. I'm having a hard time distinguishing between Your voice and his, which is crazy," I wrote.

I recognized in the letter that my job here on Earth is NOT to avoid pain at all costs. This is one of the lesser reasons why IVF will never be an option (more on that in the future). I end my letter asking God to tell me what I'm supposed to do to distract my thoughts or deal with things in the meantime.

Since writing it, I've had 3 or 4 holy hours in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and received a few whisperings of answers. I'm still sorting them out, but if anyone has an answer to my question, "What do I do in the meantime while the process of God's will is underway?" I'd love to hear it in a comment below!

Catholicism in comedy

I enjoyed this insightful article by King's College's Jonathan Malesic in America Magazine discusses the Catholic undertones in comedian Louis C.K.'s writing and comedy.  Malesic makes the connection between Louis C.K.'s humor and St. Augustine.  These Truths we know and love are instilled in us as little ones, aren't they, and as evidenced by the points Malesic makes about Louis C.K.'s implied understanding of morality (though, note, not his practicing of that morality).

For example:

In this way, the comedy of Louis C.K. plunges into moral depravity in order to discover its illogic. By contrast, George Carlin’s comedy understood sin only on a third-grade level, as an action that breaks the (to him, absurd) rules. In Louis C.K.’s comedy, sin is perverse desire. It is a profound Augustinian thread. Following it leads to some of Louis C.K.’s best insights but also to his darkest and most questionable material...

The whole part of the article that I wanted to share was too much for a pull quote, so you'll just have to read the article to understand the context. Overall, Malesic's points give this optimist hope for his and other baptized-Catholic celebrities' chances at True and public evangelism.