Gesture of Peace

Here we go again. Couple in front of me, couple beside me, family behind me. Great. I picked my seat perfectly, AGAIN. Why can't some old widow sit next to me ONE of these days. Great. Here he goes, ready to spin everyone off into the arms of their spouses, girlfriends, fiances, moms/dads/people-who-love-them-enough-to-join-them-at-Mass. Great. Another reminder that I'm single and here alone. I love this.

This may or may not have been an inner dialogue of my own several years ago. Going to Mass by yourself can hurt. Often, it can hurt so much that you A) stop going to Mass all together, B) stop going to one parish and "church hop," therefore preventing yourself from becoming established in one place, or C) get mad at God for keeping you in this state of limbo.

My compassionate, wonderful husband has always made it his mission to include people. So many of his friends are those who he met because he was reaching out to them when they were the new kid or were in need of someone to reach out to them. It's one of my favorite things about my BFF/husband.

This holy husband of mine introduced me to this practice with which I'm about to challenge you: if you are lucky enough to go to Mass with someone (spouse, significant other, friend, family, anyone), don't offer them the gesture of peace until after you've offered it to all of those around you. There is bound to be someone near you who is dreading the gesture of peace because they know they'll have those 24 seconds alone, watching everyone else remind them that they came alone. 

We are a community. Build it and reach out to those who came to gather. Your Mass partner isn't going anywhere. This is one small way I believe we can strengthen the Church.

Multicultural Education

This was the week. I've been praying in anticipation for my multicultural education class this week, knowing that the topic would be "heterosexism." This really isn't my number one concern for our world, but I knew I would be in the minority on this issue and didn't want to neglect my call to it.

In preparation for this week, the professors gave everyone a circle pin that says "Support Gay Rights," asking us to make our own choice about whether or not to wear it for two weeks. There is a reflection assignment due at the end of the semester reviewing our choice. No discussion, just "will they or won't they?"

I prayed that I could open up my heart to be the Holy Spirit's instrument and that I would be able to communicate Love for person, while still speaking the Truth. I knew this would probably alienate me from most of my classmates.

We have to write a reflection paper at the end of every session of "Multicultural Education." This was mine:

This debate is demeaning Love down to this.

As is my habit, I think I made my views somewhat clear last night. The risk with having views such as mine, especially after the entire class watched that film ["For the Bible Tells Me So"], is that voicing them falls on ears that already have opinions about me as an Other. I wish the button experiment was a discussion rather than an assumption that choosing not to wear the button means one is a bigot or a religious nut. I make a very conscious choice never to use “gay” as a derogatory or to refer to people with same sex attraction as an Other. People with same sex attraction face a lot more struggles than I can comprehend and just like other people who face struggles I don’t fully understand, they deserve my respect and compassion. This issue truly isn’t my number one concern, but I think it influences a lot of other parts of our society that concern me (ie, adoption of children by gay couples intentionally removes a parental role from the family). I understand that I am in a shrinking minority, but the message that I kept hearing last night (“Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get one.”) is an unfair one that undermines and silences discussion.

I appreciate that the film included parents who discovered that they needed to have compassion and Love for their children. I also understand that this played well into the “Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get one” stance. However, I agree with the African-American mother when she said that she realized that her thoughts and fears about her daughter’s sexuality centered mainly around her having sex.* Her daughter is still her daughter, no matter to whom she is attracted, and she needed to remember that. This is an important thing to remember for every “Otherism,” including the otherism the movie displayed against their icon for “Christians who stand against ‘gay rights.’” We all struggle with our own burdens and understandings of our world. I don’t subscribe to the idea that the world is void of a Universal Truth, but I recognize that we’re all searching for it, even if that is subconsciously.

*This link will bring you to the part of the movie I mentioned above. Note: I don't 100% agree with her approach, but she made a good point that can help those of us who forget to Love all people.

Lenten Letters

I live by the guideline that sharing what you are giving up for Lent overrides the sacrifice of whatever you're giving up. I think you've already gotten your reward when you start telling people about your sacrifice...

However, I'm pretty excited about one of these Lenten goals I have, so I will share! As you may know, I get to marry by best friend, the man God made for me, in May. That means I change my name in less than four months and I have to start hoping all of these kind free-address-label people will start sending me new return address stickers.

But what to do with all of these?

Years of collecting these stickers has left me with a hefty pile of stickers that will be out-of-date once summer rolls around. What a waste! Or is it?

Hear ye, friends o'mine. I am going to do my very best to use up as many of these stickers as possible and get in touch with old friends through the beautifully lost art of writing letters during Lent. It's time for me to strengthen my relationships prior to getting married. I'd say it's a good habit I should already have under my belt and I'll start with Lent.

If you want a postcard or letter from me, please comment below (making sure your email address is attached to it, but don't put it IN the comment) and I will do my best to reach you!

Reconnecting with friends. That's how I will #LiveLent.

I Get To...

...marry my best friend!!

God is so good to me! A) Savior, thank You! B) Thanks for sending me a great dad! One who gave his blessing to C) My wonderful fiancé!!

In case you were wondering, I had Life for breakfast (yes, yes, I did) on the last morning before agreeing to marry my best friend! We went on a hike on, in my humble opinion, the most beautiful day in the whole wide world.

We walked up the mountain as boyfriend and girlfriend and walked down it as fiancés. Okay, so we didn't walk. I basically ran down that mountain.

Wrinkled Love

Read my [first in a month] post at Ignitum Today! Here's a little to get you started:

This August, I went back to school to learn how better to teach, only partly because the smell of fresh notebooks and sharply pointed pencils fills me with satisfaction.

In my child development class, we learned that children’s brains are incapable of empathizing directly with someone else’s perspective until they reach eight-years-old. They can’t imagine what things must be like in someone else’s mind without injecting all of their own emotions.

It was at this point during the class lecture that I realized I am seven and a half years old.

My beau and I visit a Catholic Church-funded retirement home every month to celebrate the birthday men and women (boys and girls) in that community. Each month the group from our church brings cake, soda, gifts for the month’s birthday folks, and smiling conversation as we spend a little time with people who have little money and little entertainment beyond the confines of the home.

I love spending time with the people I meet there, but I didn’t noticed my lack of perspective until last month’s “birthday party.”

My beau adopted a grandmother, we’ll call her Pearl, who grew out of her sour face mood she held a few years ago and into a sarcastic, yet bubbly demeanor. Ask anyone but my beau and they will tell you it’s because of his attention to her and pushing compassion for her to turn her frown upside down. When I started visiting for these parties with him, I co-adopted her and we’re now a happy group as long as the Parkinson’s and arthritis remains at bay for the day.

Continue reading here.

A Baby Family Needs Our Help!

If you haven't been following the brave saga of Cristina and Andrew (and Maria Isabella), please go catch up. I'll wait...

Savvy? Aren't they incredible?! (While you're thinking about them, notice the "donate" tab at the top of their blog. Please.)

Well right now, this Christ-focused family is staying in a Ronald McDonald House while they await Maria Isabella's birthday after an intense surgery. The Ronald McDonald House is a finalist for Toyota’s 100 Cars for Good Program. They need our help to win! See instructions below, from the house: 

On JUNE 21st Ronald McDonald House of SNJ needs your VOTE!! We are one of 500 finalist in Toyota’s 100 Cars for Good Program.

We ask you NOW to go to 100carsforgood.com, search for Ronald McDonald House of SNJ, click on our name, click on REMIND ME, click CONFIRM.

That way you will be automatically sent a reminder to VOTE for us on our day, JUNE 21st! Watch our video below to see why our kids need your help….every single vote counts!

Combining Gilbert and Wentworth

*1*

Yes, I'm cheating by doing this in Quick Takes form... a week after the topic was published.

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This topic was meant to be a light one, just in time for Valentine's Day, because no matter your vocation or marital status, there have been and always will be literary men in your life. As Liesl explained in her literary crush piece, "Excuse me while I swoon:" 

I think one of the things I have learned most from my literary crushes is not that they have shaped my heart, but that they show me what is already imprinted on my heart.

We are who God created us to be when He first knew us, before He formed us in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5). We are His children, at our core, no matter what additional outer layers we allow others or the world to attach to us.

*2*

When you KNEW you could fly

My college art show focused on a related phenomenon: the concept of memory and how your life changes and experiences change your perspective on memories.

For instance, Anne of Green Gables was one of my first chapter books. Therefore, my perspective as a 5 or 6-year-old reading about Anne's contentious relationship with Gilbert Blythe was simplified. I might have picked up on their undertones, but I certainly didn't analyze it and try to apply my results to my own life like I did as a teen.

My perspective as a happy, confident, and in-Love 24-year-old reading this classic is less analytical and involves far more guffaws at some of my previously similar behaviors. Oh Anne, you're almost as clueless as I was a few years ago!

I can only imagine that I will revisit my 24-year-old perspective as an older woman and share a few more guffaws with and at myself. It's a cycle, folks, so embrace it!

*3*

Say a prayer that everyone may shed the extra layers

This whole concept rests on the notion that we are who God created us to be at our core. My favorite quick quote is JP2's "Family, become what you are." As Catholic Christians, we believe God created our souls and and gave them a home in our bodies.

Our souls should come first in the health pecking order, but many times we feed our body and our pleasures first.

Throughout our lives, we pack on outer layers of junk. I know I formed some weird habits during my tween to teen years. We all add habits and mannerisms to ourselves in order to fit in or do what we think will be best for us. Unfortunately, this is often only "best" for us in our pleasure-seeking short term.

Praise God, we're still US at our core. Through discernment, prayer, the will of God, and sometimes an Ah-Ha moment, we can shed these outer layers and reveal who we were created to be.

*4*

This inner person, the core, is the one with whom others fall in Love! This is who Gilbert noticed about Anne, not her red hair or temper. I believe he fell for the passion that motivated the temper.

Captain Wentworth tried his best to forget about his Anne, the one who broke his heart. He thought he healed from the romance bruise, but as soon as he saw her again, seven years later, and noticed her resolve, clear-headedness, and strength, he shed the blinders.

Julie, Liesl, and Sarah mentioned these fine fellows, and rightly so. I used to think that I Loved Gilbert because he was just a nice, intelligent country boy who is part of an example of an iconic Love story. I once thought I swooned over Capt. Wentworth because he secretly pined over Anne and then wrote a beautiful letter to make his affection known.

It's both more complex and more simple than that: they Loved their Annes to their core and recognized the lovable qualities buried deep in them. Once more, swoon with me. This is why they are so swoon-worthy. Gilbert embraced Anne's Anne-ness from the beginning and Capt. Wentworth couldn't fall out of Love with his Anne, even after years and distance.

These are the men we want, ladies. Go find them.

One Year of JML Love

Today is the one year anniversary of the unexpected passing of one of my grandparent figures. She was a wonderful, giving woman in every sense of the word. My family celebrated her life this morning at Mass, putting us in communion with her and the rest of the Communion of Saints.


Thank you, God, for putting her in the lives of my mom, my aunt, her husband, her children, her daughters-in-law, the grandchild she got to hold and the twin grandchildren who will learn about her throughout their lives.


In memory, I'm re-posting the eulogy I gave in her honor a year ago (For those who have never heard the Richmond accent, "Hello there" is pronounced <<Hello, they-yah>> and she was famous for it):

Hello they-yah.

One of the most consistent memories I have of Joan Marie was that she was always very well put together. She always had a fun jacket or sweater, perfectly matched shoes, and a fresh face of make-up. I remember that every time I hugged her, I felt a little foundation rub off onto my cheek.

Now, I think I was in 6th grade when I finally grew taller than her, so it was the little ritual I will always remember: first, she’d say “Hello they-yah Elizabuth,” Second, bend down, but not until the last second, so as not to look like I was about to hug a 10 year old. Third, accept the warm kiss on my cheek and feel the slick spot of foundation on my cheekbone. Just like I could feel that little spot on my cheek, we all feel the direct and indirect “rub offs” that Joan left on each of us.

Joan Marie and the house she decorated WERE CHRISTMAS. She used to tickle my dad into submission. Laura and Chris always mentioned each time they received a gift, which was always perfectly wrapped, on time, and ideal for that person, it would most likely be green. My freshman year of college, she IM'd me. My 65 year old Great Aunt IM'd me! I’m sure Michael Jr will testify that she was the coolest Mimi around and he’ll get to tell his new cousins all about her.

Joan lived the faith and didn’t ask for credit. Obviously Matthew 6 was stamped right on her heart. She probably dropped off meals at peoples’ houses who, to this day, do not know from whom they came.

This philosophy spilled over, in abundance, to her life with Saint Gertrude High School. I never knew how involved in Saint Gertrude she was until I was pleasantly surprised to run into her at a class correspondents’ meeting earlier this fall. Gerties love their committees, I think I sit on 3 of them and I’m sure she sat on 30 or more since she graduated. There she was at her alma mater for what was likely her 1000th meeting to discuss Alumnae relations, chatting up some ladies from her Gertie era. She was the popular kid!

When I offered to talk about Joan, Johnny asked me not to be too soupy. So let me see: ham biscuits, broccoli casserole, corn pudding, Peecahn PAHI.

Let’s just agree, the essence of Joan Marie is: Joy. And it’s our job to keep that joy going.

Easier than you think

Today is day 183 of the romantic relationship with my beau. Six months, half an anniversary, the six-mensiversary, a nanoversary, halfaversary, something somewhat silly to celebrate. Or is it?

Rather than swoon to you about the awesome man in my life, I thought I'd take a crack at how we got here. How did I land a great, Catholic man who wants to grow in Christ with me? Where did I go right that God would present me with someone who truly wants to discern God's plan? What help can I possibly be to others with only six months under my belt?

How we got here

Whenever people "give advice" to single people from their [haughty] chairs, it often inspires temptation of mild violence. I hope to avoid that.

Love his face

I've known my beau for almost three years now, so our road has been a long one with a large percentage of a friendship-only identity. We met in a young adult club. I can hear the sound of facepalms everywhere:

Of course you met at church! I've already tried that! I exhausted my pool there, give me another direction!

Remember that the majority of our relationship has been strictly friendship; we surprised each other as we became better friends. "Hey! Where have you been?"

A little over a year ago, after a series of weekly dinners in a group of church friends, several non-church-related events, and many email exchanges, my beau and I became great friends. We became best friends.

Then, despite my best efforts to control my mind (like nailing warm butter to a wall), I looked up one day and realized I had a big crush on my best friend.

Believe me when I say the "trust in God," "it happens when you least expect it," "you have to be happy being alone before you can be happy with someone else" cliches bugged me to no end. So as not to cause another wave of facepalms I won't explicitly say those cliches are mostly true... I'll just hint at it.

Get to the practicalities before I click out of this post.


Read more at VirtuousPla.net... I promise, I really give practical points.

Easy Bake Love Story

Emotional Chastity

"Cootie shots and conundrums" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

My parents have the most intimidating Love story.

They knew each other when they were in elementary school, my dad took my mom out on her first date (refusing to kiss her at the end of the night), they did not date each other throughout high school or college, he drove her from their mutual college alma mater back home several times (refusing to give rides to other friends so he could have her company to himself), and met up again at a party several years later. They married a year to the date of that party.

It's the kind of story that makes little girls swoon, hope for, and expect for their lives. They make plastic chicken in their miniature kitchens, tend to sick babydolls, and imagine writing and illustrating the World's Greatest Storybook, while their fictitious husbands wait in the ethos.

At least, that's the way I handled it. It has only been in the last year that I realized this was the bar I had set for my life, many years ago.

Results NOT TYPICAL

"But that is an adorable story. One with adolescence, romance, Love, and destiny."

Yes, thank you, mom and dad, for telling it so many times that I may know where I began and that a romantic Love can overtake you like a wave.

However, like when I added two packets of Easy Bake Oven cake mix to the three diameter pan, sometimes too much of a good thing makes a cake bubble around a light bulb. Too much of a good thing digs a path labeled "Means to an End."

Since the beginning of our Bright Maidens journey, we've spent considerable time discussing the clothes we put on our bodies, the way we carry our bodies, and why and why not to keep them to ourselves instead of sharing the intimate details with others. Theology of the Body, in fact, is a misleading term.

We choose to respect the profound importance of our bodies because we learned the deep appreciation and respect for who we are and what we have to give. So why do we have so many good young women falling victim to the wrong side of emotional, intellectual challenges?

Because we desire Love. We were created for it and we yearn for it. We just need to flip the patience switch.

Kids started "going out" in fourth grade at my elementary school, so the yearning started before the boys were even tall enough to be in my line of vision. Even as a kid who walked around with scrapes on her knees from playing soccer at recess, I felt like something must be wrong with me that no ten-year-old boy wanted to sit awkwardly next to me and share my glue stick.

They got to the serious stuff in middle school, where relationships lasted up to three months and consisted of hand-holding (creating that wide V between the tweens avoiding any contact other than sweaty palms). No "boyfriend" for me, though my parents' story lingered in my mind.

High school, I thought, that is when I will recognize my clandestine future.

By the time high school rolled around, the girls became women, the boys became ... grown up boys, and the relationships speckled the gossip mill. The weeks rotated between Valentine's Day or VJ Day, depending, as the young women in my all-girls school taped pictures of their boyfriends on the inside of their lockers.

My self-preservation tactic was to print out pictures of my favorite celebrities for my binder covers and to add MiracleGro to an absurd number of crushes. He hadn't arrived yet, so every guy within a preset age range might be him. I needed to stay on high-alert, I thought.

Rather than spending my formative teen years getting to know people as friends who could teach me about life and deepening my faith in God, I took matters into my own emotional hands. It was like I was auctioning off my capacity for Love by investing it in the celebrity photos, in the fantasies featuring my crushes, and in the hope that the guy across the room might be "the one."

I won't volunteer anyone with similar emotional chastity issues to step forward, but I know I'm not the only one who pretended a Love life for a chunk of time.

Who can blame us? We are capable of an unfathomable amount of Love and it's exciting to think we might one day share it with someone else in a day culminating that emotion.

The problem is we expose our hearts to the elements. These are the same hearts we're so eager to give to someone else. If we can't keep a handle on our minds to protect these hearts, we run the risk of having one that looks like it got in a tussle with steel wool to offer to the one for whom we wait.

Female Kryptonite

I have to write my examples in past tense because I don't want to admit to which acute degree I still struggle with this topic, but know that is still on my "to fix" list.

What I have learned is that my increase in happiness is directly correlated to a decrease in romantic presumption. Other people's Love stories do not add to, nor do they take away from yours, so don't speed up the process.

At no point are we "safe" from our over-thinking or romantic projecting. Our defense is a good offense: keep trust in God and that He has a plan rather than forcing a romantic Love story or fantasizing too far beyond reality.

It doesn't get more Easy Bake than letting the Big Guy do the work for you. We just have to be open to it.

Month of the Dress

Feminine Genius: The Dress

"Dresses Rule, Pants Drool and Other Facts of Life" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Dresses & the Apostolate of Beauty" Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Month of the Dress" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

This post is one month in the making: one month of flowing dresses, feminine prints, and (shocker) thinking about outfits and make-up. For the last thirty days, I promised myself that I would wear a dress or skirt at every opportunity. I only failed once.

Before the Month of the Dress, I was a frequent skirt-wearer. Of the things women complain about, dresses should never be on the list.

I don't own the rights.

I expected to come out on the other side of the Month of the Dress a new woman. I would be well-rested, prettier, empowered, a better chef, able to speak to small cartoon animals, and sing a high F.

Expectations being what they are (generally wrong), I learned something unforseen: I'm already the woman those characteristics represent.

Half way through the month, this empowered woman got a flat tire and had to [call my beau to bring his fancy equipment to take off the bad tire and] go to the mechanic for a replacement. I was dressed for the gym, ie running shorts and a t-shirt, when I walked in the doors of the mechanic's.

I don't have to go all the way to Mrs. Manners' reaction because I know my Gramma was looking down screeching, "You look like a rag-a-muffin!"

I became very aware of my informal wardrobe, though any other month of the year, this would be a standard outfit for a trip to the mechanic. In the first two weeks of the dress experiment, I lamented the fact that I didn't notice much of a difference in my behavior or manner after fourteen days. Then there I was, in public for the first time without a skirt on and I felt exposed.

Lest you think one shorts-clad trip to the mechanic flipped me into an anti-pants woman, I will tell you I am donning a pair of six-year-old running shorts, a t-shirt with paint on it, and my hair in a messy bun at the moment I write this.

After my uneasiness at the mechanic's wore off, I realized it wasn't the dress itself or the fact that women "are supposed to" wear dresses that caused discomfort on the day I "failed" at the Month of the Dress. But what was it?

At the Annunciation, the Angel Gabriel hails Mary and calls her "full of grace." In his apostolic letter, MULIERIS DIGNITATEM, Bl. Pope John Paul II wrote that the dialoge from the Annunciation reveals the "supernatural dimension" of the event. 

"Grace never casts nature aside or cancels it out, but rather perfects it and ennobles it. Therefore the "fullness of grace" that was granted to the Virgin of Nazareth, with a view to the fact that she would become "Theotókos", also signifies the fullness of the perfection of" what is characteristic of woman", of "what is feminine". Here we find ourselves, in a sense, at the culminating point, the archetype, of the personal dignity of women."

A woman was the only being on Earth capable of being the mother of God, the person to bear Him, or the first to touch Him. The feminine "mystery" is a confusing concept, which is so evasive and inexplicable, one wonders if we are just repeating a buzz word that has been used for centuries.

John Paul II's deconstruction of the Annunciation shows that the "mystery" of a woman is the fact that she is more than utilitarian or for objectification. As Mary is the archetype of the personal dignity of women, she is our example.

In a later letter, John Paul II writes, "The Church sees in Mary the highest expression of the 'feminine genius' and she finds in her a source of constant inspiration. Mary called herself the 'handmaid of the Lord' (Lk 1:38)" (Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women).

My wearing a dress or skirt for thirty days made an impact on my routine. I spent more time on looking nice, which made me more present when interacting with others outside of my home. I made the effort to be creative when selecting outfits, since the limited wardrobe bound me to repeat them.

I attempted to put on an aire of grace in the form of a dress, in communion with my feminine identity.

However, it was the commitment to the arbitrary thirty day rule that caused the abiding change I underwent this month. Why is a dress the outward appearance of femininity? Does that apply to every woman? How does this relate to my faith?

The Church finds in Mary "a source of constant inspiration" because she was obedient to the Word of God, choosing to use the gifts He gave her for His plan, unselfishly. She served God and in doing so, served others: "a service of love."

"Precisely through this service Mary was able to experience in her life a mysterious, but authentic 'reign.' It is not by chance that she is invoked as 'Queen of heaven and earth.' The entire community of believers thus invokes her; many nations and peoples call upon her as their 'Queen.' For her, 'to reign' is to serve! Her service is 'to reign!'"- Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women

That's the real "dress" for a woman: service.

Good thing, because as much as I praise dresses and their ease, I'm going hiking next week. I cannot think of a more unfeminine thing than me sweating and pulling on a skirt that clashes with my hiking boots as I walk up a mountain.

"I think you look good in shorts, too, though," said my beau. I'll learn to cook a recipe that I know he'll like. And I'll wear my pink bermuda shorts and a blue t-shirt while I make it.

UPDATE: A friend randomly read this passage from 1 Peter 3:

"Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God."

How perfect! This is not a condemnation or an outlawing of the "adornment," but an emphasis that "the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition" is "precious in the sight of God."

Holy Day Off

If this is your first post you've found on this blog, WELCOME! Please enjoy and consider subscribing to the RSS feed for more!

Yesterday's Gospel reading is a story we hear many times throughout our life growing up with the Church.

"'Five loaves and two fish are all we have here.' Then he said, 'Bring them here to me,' and he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass.  Taking the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds.  They all ate and were satisfied, and they picked up the fragments left over — twelve wicker baskets full" -Matthew 14:17-20

Catholics love this story! It's Eucharistic, full of the symbolism we love, and it reminds us of the good old days when people crowded into one area, sitting down knee-to-knee to pay attention to Jesus.

From the John account of this story, we learn that the crowd was at least 5000 men full. We stand in awe at Jesus' ability to turn five loaves and two fish into enough to feed his listeners.

Many find themselves defending the miraculous and others try explaining a logical reason that He made the food multiply. As my priest mentioned in the homily yesterday, we tend to get caught up in the miraculous and "the proof" upholding the story.

We worry about defending a miracle. We trip up in the face of the hard questions.

Perhaps those in the crowd packed a bag of food to feed their families. Perhaps they shared with those around them, enriching the miraculous with selflessness like Jesus preached. Maybe the Gospel writers just neglected to report that Bartholomew/Nathaniel went on a pizza run.

Rather than concentrating on the miracle, an integral part of the life and mission of Jesus Christ, let's consider the other factors. What can we absolutely recognize in the account?

Five-thousand men walked to a deserted area, listened to Jesus, mimicking what we now recognize as a Sunday church service. It was not the Sabbath, otherwise someone would be up in arms about Jesus speaking to the crowds or performing a miracle.

Therefore, we can conclude these people either walked away from their normal work duties, leaving the fish sorting for later, or spent their limited free time with the teacher from Nazareth.

No one had a college degree. Their country was occupied by Rome and they were also ruled by the high-ranking Jewish priests. No one had an easy life, yet they carved out the time to listen to Jesus preach.

How often do we do that? We have a whole faith tradition and several community pockets supporting our belief system and we still struggle to make time for Him.

These people just thought he was a good teacher; they had no reason but His caring speech to project that He was as special as He was.

(I don't own the rights)

Do we treat time with Jesus like these first listeners did? To what activities in our lives do we dedicate that time?

Often, I'm quick to miss Mass because it's inconvenient. When I was swimming, I missed Mass every single weekend I had a swim meet.

Sometimes we easily convince ourselves that God will Love us whether or not we make it to Mass to share in the Word and Eucharist. We're fortunate, because He will Love us, no matter what we do.

But since when do we want to give Him "just enough?"

Leave work, leave the things the occupy your mind most of the week, leave your fears about stories such as these. Come join the community of listeners and share in the Eucharistic meal.

Needle and the damage done

Tattoos

"Ain't Tat Something" by Julie at The Corner with a View
Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Needle and the damage done" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

How appropriate that we review a topic like tattoos after one of the most shirtless days of the year!

In April, I made a little comment about the calf tattoos (calftoos or calftats, if you will) I saw when running in my first anything-K race. I took a dip in my gym's pool yesterday, taking a look around at the surplus of Americans celebrating America's day.

Then I started calculating how much all of that ink was worth.

A friend once showed me his three inch ankle tattoo and told me it cost him almost $200. It costs at least $60 for the tattoo artist to touch the needle to your skin. You better know what you want because not only are you paying a hefty amount upfront, but you're generally stuck with it. No pun intended, but pun emphasized.

Let's get out of my penny-pincher mind; what are the teachings and why?

Many Protestant theologians teach that the Bible forbids it, often citing this: "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh on account of the dead or tattoo any marks upon you: I am the Lord" (Lev. 19:28).

If these preachers stick to this (look, another pun), then I assume they also don't wear blended fabrics. Leviticus is certainly an important part of the Bible, but we need to be careful not to pick and parcel out what we want to believe from what we don't want to believe. That's how the Protestant churches lost sight of the true teaching of the Eucharist.

So what does the Catholic Church teach? The consensus among Catholic biblical scholars is that this teaching on tattoos is not part of the unchanging moral law.Cite 

Like many parts of the Catholic Church's teachings, they leave it up to the church members (you and me) to discern. The Church teaches that it is not in opposition of the Bible to tattoo oneself, but they offer sound principles explaining why, in some situations, it is sinful to be tattooed.

Sinful? Now, no one wants to hear that! Do you know how much I paid for this?! It's a picture of my dog playing a keytar, get a grip, Church!

A lot of pain for no gain. Gross.

Calm down for a second. For example, if one gets the tattoo with a bad intention, like in spite of one's parents, that person is sinning against them. If the intention of the tattoo is not one of love ("I want to piss off as many people as possible, because I can"), the evil intention makes it a sin, according to the Church.

To get a clearer understanding of these principles, read here. 

Back to the pool

After hanging out at my gym's pool, my family held a little Independence Day shindig (Happy birthday, Gramma!). One of our guests was a man who went to the Naval Academy. You would think a midshipman who is officially a member of the Navy would have dozens of tattoos by now, easily hidden, of course.

He surprised me by vehemently exclaiming that he can't think of one item he would want to have on his body for his entire life. How succinctly put!

Tattoos have a special, quiet place in my opinions. I have so many that they nestle quite nicely among the spiky, bickering items like abortion, justice and crunchy vs. creamy peanut butter (crunchy, obviously).

I have wanted a tattoo (or several) for the last fifteen years. Throughout those fifteen years, if I shared that tidbit with friends they scoffed in surprise; never could they imagine their quiet, somewhat-goodie-two-shoes friend inking herself. Part of me still wants to shovel out the ridiculous amounts of money to get one.

Much like I know not to date bad boys or have multiple drinks at a cocktail party, I know I won't get a tattoo. 

First of all, the double standard on tattoos makes them very undesirable on female skin. Yes, that's still true. No, it hasn't changed.

Second of all, after youthful days pass me by, I'm more likely to find a jalapeno pepper in the exact same place I had once paid someone to ink a strawberry.

Thirdly and most importantly, I ask myself, why do I want to get a tattoo? I can't think of a single answer at which I wouldn't roll my eyes. 

So often, tattoos are a fad that fades with youth. They skipped my parents' generation, perhaps proving their trendiness.

When I ask myself, why don't I want to get a tattoo?, I have a thousand answers. The big one: I don't want my future kids to see a tattoo on their mom.

Because of my remaining desire to get my own tattoo, I don't judge people who have their own (except to think, how in the heck did you pay for that?).  We make our own decisions in life.

Like any decision that affects us for the rest of our lives, we shouldn't take the decision to go under the needle lightly. 

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 35

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

*1*

in't this the truth?

Me: "The Vatican needs a new webmaster."
Julie: "Yeah, it's probably a cardinal being punished."



It turns out that they might have a new webmaster, as the site looks slightly different... Here is Brandon's (The Thin Veil) reflection on the NEW Vatican news website. Follow Brandon on Twitter, too!

*2*

ow cool is our Pope? Pope Benedict XVI tweeted about that NEW news site for the first time this week from the Vatican News Twitter handle, @News_va_en.

And what from what did he Tweet? An iPad.

 I guess that settles any debate about Mac vs. PC, right?

*3*

ne of the treasures of college that I miss the most is history and art history classes.

 Enjoy this video as it scans through 500 years of female portraits.

Ahhh culture, I love it.

*4*

f you have yet to learn about the University of Seattle's permitting Planned Parenthood on campus for student internships, please read here. To sign the petition, click here.

When it comes down to it, this is a CATHOLIC university. 

There are probably professors and students at the university who support abortion on principle or in general. There are people on campus (or who know about the issue from anywhere in the nation) who support abortion... this doesn't matter. 

Disclaimer: I don't think many people hold this opinion anymore.

This is not a political issue because this is a Catholic university. It receives funding from the Catholic Church, a body that opposes abortion and supports LIFE in every doctrine of its Magisterium.

Some Planned Parenthood offices cannot perform abortions. However, the organization funds all of its offices; all of that money is bloody. This university should become a public institution before it allows this publicly funded firm to offer opportunities on its campus.

I wrote my "Judgement for bloggers" post three days before I published it this week. I think it's well-timed because this is a topic that ruffles a lot of feathers. We who oppose abortion should always choose to love the women who have abortions and love those who hold a pro-abortion opinion. 

I love them, but I hate the sin. I hate how many people in my generation are not around today because of organizations like Planned Parenthood. I'm not going to keep my mouth shut on this one.

*5*

hat was heavy. Please enjoy this mental break:

*6*

y goals for July:

*Carve out the time to read and comment on more of YOUR blogs.

*Attempt to use a coupon or discount on every single thing I buy this month (attempt) and add up the savings, just to pat myself on the back.

*7*

eminder! The Bright Maidens are tackling the topic of "tattoos" on Tuesday!


If you haven't participated in a Bright Maidens post before, please join us! Write a little blurb that approaches the topic, grab our image here, and post the link to your POST on our Facebook wall on Tuesday!

Tattoo Tuesday... it has a nice ring to it!


The last topic was "Catholic Modesty" and it turned out really well! Lots of dicussion. Check out the full list of posts here.


Sure enough, Simcha offered her hilarity for the modesty debate (coincidence).

Sneak preview:

"It’s true that women have a responsibility to dress decently so as not to deliberately provoke lust in men. But they do not have a responsibility to make it impossible for men to lust after them."

Judgement for bloggers

What does "as you judge, so will you be judged" mean for bloggers? (Matthew 7:1-2)

I've covered my issue with the application of this phrase in daily life, but I would like your help with another facet.

How do we, as bloggers, fit "not judging" into our work? We can espouse as many teachings as we want in our writing, but we can't control the choices other people make.

However, this is a cop-out:

"My decisions are for me, yours are right for you. We live in a world where fluffy unicorns eat candy corn out of your hand and leprechauns join you for milk and cookies after school."

In fact, this annoys me. I make plenty of mistakes, as do others.

But there is an ultimate Truth. God knows what will bring us the most fulfillment in our lives and several personal decisions will affect that outcome.

As bloggers, we preach to the choir most of the time. We fill the Internet with Catholic Christian teachings, trusting that someone who needs to will read them in our voice.

When I venture out into the real world and see friends who read my blog, I'm hypersensitive about how they interpret my words. I worry that those friends who disagree with me think I'm chronically judging them.

I don't want anyone to think I am condemning them (I am most certainly not!) by disagreeing with their choices, but I don't want to sit in silence, either.

The ultimate answer to my question is: Love always. If my actions are not loving, then I'm not following Jesus' commandment.

Where do YOU think this fits into our mission as bloggers? (Don't laugh, I think we're called to E-vangelize, too)

The opposite of grace

My sister often touts the message, "Anxiety is the opposite of grace."

s a follow up to my Christian Commitophobia post, let's talk about the red flags the prop up when commitophobia rears it's spiky head.
 

You may know that I'm dating a wonderful man (I doubt you know how wonderful). Before him, whenever I was dating someone, I would seize up with a severe case of the "what-ifs." 

What if he's not as great as he seems? What if I get sick of him? What if he gets sick of me? What if I find someone better when we're dating? What if I miss out on who God wants me to find because I date this guy?

I would find lots of little excuses to end the relationship before it got serious, before anyone got a chance to be intimately hurt by the relationship.

In many cases, I'm very grateful for those mental pokes of "what if?" However, several months ago a friend pointed out that some of those spikes of fear can come from the devil.

Think about this: Satan's objective is to steer as many souls away from God as possible. If two good Christians who mesh well come together for the extension of God's message of Love, the devil may lose out on innumerable souls.

A successful Christian marriage is a testimony for God and touches hundreds of souls, both directly and indirectly.

"YIKES, we can't have that!" says the devil.

Approach your romantic relationships with God in every moment. Keep prayer at the forefront of your relationship so you can take your time to realize if the doubts come from God or from the devil.

Another friend mentioned recently that thinking, "What do I know about loving a man?  I shouldn't even try this," cannot be from God.

My inevitable Christian commitophobic anxiety about my current boyfriend came several months before we started dating. I maintained the friendship with him during that time, keeping the anxiety at bay, until my confidence overpowered the doubts.

I'm always learning how to better listen to God and discern His plan for my life.

One lesson I've learned in this dating portion of my life is that the devil doesn't want couples who will help advance God's message to exist. Those successful relationships strengthen God's presence and he will do whatever he can to prevent them from growing.

If you're feeling those pangs of doubt and fear, ask yourself if it's because you're worried it won't be successful.

....Or are you worried that it will be successful? If the second, ask God to help you banish that devil out of your thoughts.

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 34

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

We're at Betty Beguiles today!

*1*

irst of all, do you like how I'm sprucing up my posts now? You can thank and appreciate the efforts of Jessica Hische, self-proclaimed letterer.

She said she was bored looking at most blog posts. Okay, Jessica, I can take a hint. I'll use your letters.

*2*

f you are a DIYer, planning a wedding, or at all bored at this moment, go visit my name twin at Elizabeth Anne Designs. I've come across this blog at least 10 separate times (no surprise, since we share two names) and it's time I help her out.

It doesn't look like she needs my help, as she has a healthy following and a lot of terrific, creative ideas on her blog!

*3*

'all got me. Jessica, Anthony (and here), and Allie rightfully corrected me in my post about "emerging adulthood." It turns out that I'm not an emerging adult, which is fine by me.

I'm an actual adult! (I'm a real [girl]!)

In her response, Allie said, "[This] actually reminds me a bit of an article about this trend in Mormonism that came out more recently."

Funnily (can we accept this word?) enough, I read this article a few weeks ago and it fascinated me! Tell me what you think about it (topics: marriage, Mormons, and myoung mpeople).

*4*

ove Story. Ever heard of it? I watched this dramatic movie for the first time last night and you know what I took away from it?

"I need to tell my readers to go visit their grandparents."

Spoiler alert: stop reading if you care to see this film.

When Jenny was on her death bed and her father left the room, I started to cry. It takes a lot to get this girl to cry. A lot.

It's like trying to tickle me: usually, it's not going to happen unless you hit me with a sneak attack.

This part that pried the tears from my eyes affected me so much because it reminded me of the moment I left my gramma's hospital room, knowing that would be the last time I'd see her on Earth.

I thought I had already said goodbye, but as I was walking down the hall, a cousin was approaching the hospital room. I walked with her and faced the task of saying goodbye again, this time unprepared and unguarded without the proper amount of time to build a new emotional wall.

I'm grateful that my cousin's arrival caused me to be vulnerable in the moment I said goodbye to one of my longest friendships on Earth.

Your turn. Go be vulnerable with your parents or grandparents. Get to know them, do things for them, make more of an impact on their life and let them make several on yours.

These dents hurt, but I don't want it any other way.

Keep an eye out for a longer post on this. And go see your loved ones this weekend.

*5*

peaking of beautiful people... my dad found an old, undeveloped roll of film and promptly took it to the drug store. What a treasure!

Those pictures that were still in tact on the roll were documentations from my youngest sister's first day of kindergarten! Enjoy!

(I'm the taller one, the one with the bowl cut.)

She's so cute, it hurts a little.

 

This was probably my dad's idea. "Let's mess with Gramma, taking the picture, and pretend we're falling off the face of the Earth."

Happy family :)

*6*

My favorite daily Benedict this week was:

"Christ wants not only to give us sight, but also open our interior vision, so that our faith may become ever deeper and we may recognize him as our only Savior. He illuminates all that is dark in life, and leads men and women to live as "children of the light". 

-Pope Benedict XVI, Lenten Message 2011

What does it mean to be a "child of the light?"

*7*

his week's Bright Maidens topic was "Catholic Modesty."

Get it? I used a T-bone "T" because we're all more than just a piece of meat? Get it?...

We had a healthy helping of disagreement. I didn't think this would be a topic that so many would interpret differently, but I'm glad I got to read them! Go check out the note on Facebook with all of the links to the posts.

If you're new and you want to understand what the heck I'm talking about... hop over and read this... then "like" us on Facebook and participate on July 5.