Weight of Mentality

Pinterest has been invaded by spammers preying on women who pin, and pin, and pin about tips and tricks for losing weight. Women keep pinning and re-pinning these spam-laced pins because they believe they'll read them, eventually, and live up to the toned woman in the photo doing whatever exercise the spammer knew would catch the female eye.

They know how to get to us, don't they?

Over the past three years, I've been fortunate to finally find some success in this realm of my life and I want to share with you the "secrets." Not secret diet or the perfect all-over exercise regimen, but the real secrets behind the eyes of a woman struggling with her weight: the real weight lies in your mentality.

This is not a new idea. However, I know when I was unhappy with my weight, I plagued Google for every tip, trick, or motivation some stranger would share. This list is written for women, men, the overweight, the underweight, and for those who never really had to think about their weight.

• Fear - when I was overweight, there was a constant and overwhelming fear that someone was going to yell something rude at me about my weight. I also feared that everyone around me saw nothing but the fat girl. This mental elephant sat on my shoulders for years and even after I had lost enough weight to be out of the medical "overweight" category.
• Faking it - Though I constantly complained to my family about my weight and made a few little jokes with my friends about my weight, I tried never to verbally self-identify as the fat girl in public. I might comment about how other girls were little or compliment others on being cute and small, but I tried not to make fat jokes about myself. I think that's a slippery slope.
• What is "enough?" - Another fear I had was that any success I had with weight loss would be quickly eclipsed by a bad snacking day or a gradual let down of my guard. I also told myself that I was worried that the success would be so great that I might get too skinny and not be able to stop. Now I see that this is really a crutch, but it is something to keep in mind. It shouldn't get in our way and if we're losing weight the healthy way, it isn't much of a possibility.
• Boy-friendly sized? - Typical, right? I ached for years believing that no boy would date me unless A) he was 400 lbs or B) I was 100 lbs. This is like the hunger growl that creeps from your stomach during a quiet moment in class (no pun intended); an empty pain based on the untruth that I'm only as valuable as someone's first impression of me. Yes, the way I treat my body (ie. the cookie binging nights) is a reflection of how I treat my insides. Now that I am in shape again and have found my value within, I feel more like myself than ever before. Still, the poison I fed myself regarding my undesirability was the real turn-off. BONUS: it's quality of the man, not quantity or ease of "capture" ;)
• Helpless anxiety - I once heard someone say that being addicted to food was a much harder addiction to overcome than any narcotic addiction because we can't quit food cold turkey. We have to coexist with food for the rest of our life. For those who have never needed to lose significant weight or keep any kind of restraint on your diet beyond avoiding cake, try to understand this: imagine hating how you look and knowing that the dinner (even if it's healthy) you just cooked for yourself is just another version of the food that added to your frame. For me, being overweight felt like I was wearing a rubber suit that was superglued to my skin. I knew it wasn't part of who I was (deep down, I believe I knew this), but I didn't see how I could remove it. There was a grey cloud of guilt with every single bite I took, unless it was a vengeful bite taken among several on a day I said, "Forget this! It's been a week and I haven't seen an ounce of difference!"

True cliche: Both of the above ladies are beautiful and valued. God created both and used their life trials to lead them to their true identity.

My final note here is that this is not a commentary along the lines of "bigger is beautiful" just as much as it is not a commentary stating that all women should be size 4. I believe we have a duty to our bodies as temples to work to be healthy and mental health is foremost (IMHO). 

If you have ever struggled with this identity crisis, do these resonate with you? What would you add?

If you have not struggled with this, would you share with us something that surprises you? Or challenge me! Please!

A Baby Family Needs Our Help!

If you haven't been following the brave saga of Cristina and Andrew (and Maria Isabella), please go catch up. I'll wait...

Savvy? Aren't they incredible?! (While you're thinking about them, notice the "donate" tab at the top of their blog. Please.)

Well right now, this Christ-focused family is staying in a Ronald McDonald House while they await Maria Isabella's birthday after an intense surgery. The Ronald McDonald House is a finalist for Toyota’s 100 Cars for Good Program. They need our help to win! See instructions below, from the house: 

On JUNE 21st Ronald McDonald House of SNJ needs your VOTE!! We are one of 500 finalist in Toyota’s 100 Cars for Good Program.

We ask you NOW to go to 100carsforgood.com, search for Ronald McDonald House of SNJ, click on our name, click on REMIND ME, click CONFIRM.

That way you will be automatically sent a reminder to VOTE for us on our day, JUNE 21st! Watch our video below to see why our kids need your help….every single vote counts!

Instruct the Uninformed - 7QT, Volume 54

*1*

Join us on Facebook!

Have you ever been an Extraordinary Minister? What we used to call "Eucharistic Ministers," we should now call "Extraordinary Ministers." That is my first instruction in this 7 Quick Takes version of this week's Bright Maiden's topic on the first Spiritual Work of Mercy, "Instruct the Uninformed."

This is a tough task to ask of people trying to attract others to the Faith. To "instruct the uninformed" or to "instruct the ignorant," as it is often stated, sounds arrogant. As if we must bless others with the knowledge we have and they go without. But how often do we welcome instruction when we really need it?

Isn't that what all of those college loans are for? Aren't you glad to learn the tips and tricks you find on how to make life easier on Pinterest? When you're unsure about something, don't you wish someone would just set the record straight?

*2*

This is where we come in. Extraordinary Ministers hold the great position of distributing the Eucharist to His people. We actually give Jesus to hundreds of people.

"This is the Body of Christ" -- Words of true weight pass our lips for fifteen minutes.

So what do you do when someone approaches you and obviously doesn't know what you're about to give them?

In most situations (ie, apathetic teens), we can only instruct with "This is the Body of Christ," saying it with purpose. However, when someone is chewing gum, they are obviously ignorant of what they're doing and unprepared to receive the Eucharist.

A fellow EM of mine says that when a parishioner approaches him with gum showing in the corners of their mouth, he leans down and says, "I can't serve you with gum in your mouth. Go spit it out and then get back in line, please."

It sounds harsh, but those who chew gum moments before receiving the Eucharist really shouldn't receive at all. They haven't prepared for it. However, that moment is a moment wherein this person could completely turn away from the Church out of embarrassment or recognize that this EM is giving them a second chance.

Then they work out the rest with God.

*3*

One of my biggest pet peeves as an EM is a silly little ritual many parishioners at my church go through and I would love your input on how to handle it. Several married couples will approach me together, wait for me to give them both the Eucharist, and then receive it together.

ARGH! I should be concentrating on ministering, and I usually snap back into it. Quite frankly, when they stand side-by-side, I think, "Y'all are consuming the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with EVERYONE who has ever consumed the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with Christ! Why do you feel you have to add this extra bit of 'specialness?'"

I've settled on the decision to just administer to the Eucharist to these folks rather than whispering, "I'll serve you, one at a time." What do you think we should do in this case, Extraordinary Ministers out there? Is this silly to you or are you ready to throw a punch at me?

*4*

A friend once went to Mass and sat behind a young boy who, upon returning from the Eucharist line, proceeded to rip the Eucharist wafer into little pieces and tossing them into the air. He caught the pieces and threw them up in the air again.

Horrified, my friend's husband asked the boy if he was going to consume the Eucharist, while the boy's mom sat a few feet away.

It made no disturbance in the pew, my friend held out his hand as the boy poured the pieces into his hand, and he consumed it.

This is instructing the ignorant.

*5*

On twitter the other day, a self-proclaimed "holiday Catholic" said he was going to get the "crackers and wine" and he needed to find a place to get them and ashes.

Because Twitter is a great e-vangelizing forum, even if our efforts there only plant seeds, I decided to reach out. My first thought on this one was, "Why do you care to go at all if you think they're crackers and wine?" I corrected him and wished him good fortune in finding a place he liked. These are easy ways to instruct the uninformed because we don't have the direct confrontation.

*6*

Another Twitter encounter occurred the other day between me, Kate, Karianna, and "Feminist Breeder." You can see some of those points here and here.

The Catholic Church is not anti-gay, as Feminist Breeder was saying, and we wanted to set her straight. Karianna said, "Anti-gay not fair. Catholicism calls for all singles to remain chaste, gay or not." Kate followed up with, "And sin is sin, we're all equally sinful - Church is anti-sin, not anti-gay."


We need to inform those who think poorly of the Catholic Church as well as those who are tossing pieces of Jesus into the air at Mass.

*7*

I don't know whether or not my roommate thinks poorly of the Catholic Church, but I don't think she was familiar with Natural Family Planning methods. The other day, I told my new roommate that I am interested in using NFP as a wife and she said, "Is that like biorhythms?"

Thanks to folks like Katie, I got to explain to her, no, NFP is not like the rhythm method anymore. I explained that the rhythm method was used back in the 1930s and that we know a lot more about how best to avoid or to achieve pregnancy while keeping God in our bedrooms.

I also used the opportunity to explain that most of the methods are at least 97% effective when used properly (which relies on married couples communicating -- another benefit), which is far more promising than something like condoms. The error margin of condom use increases exponentially with every use (statisticians, help me learn how best to explain this, please!), while NFP methods remain effective as long as couples chart and communicate.

Every little conversation plants a seed and every little bit of ignorance we can rub out of the world leaves more opportunities for the Lord to work. This is our calling!

Our bleeding hearts

For the first time in 2012, I'm posting over at IGNITUM TODAY:

"Do you think they want to die? Tell me, do you think the people training the suicide bombers want to die? Do you? Do you think they want to die?”

The inquisitor exacerbated his vile prodding by point his finger a few inches from my face. Such are the consequences we face by standing up for our faith in this country.

Last week I travelled to the 2012 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) for my job. I was charged with standing by our booth display, meeting and greeting as many people as possible, and passing out free swag.

It was invigorating to meet so many new people in four days, but exhausting to let my head back in the political banter realm I’ve been avoiding for more than a year.

Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney spoke at this 12,000+ attendee conference, spouting about conservative values and carefully reserving more folks for their niche of supporters through careful speechwriting. Many Catholic bloggers out here have thrown their support behind one candidate or another, as if voting for any of them would come without conscience reservations at the ballot box.

As seen at CPAC - seriously.

For this reason, and for a simple and juvenile refusal to accept that this is the best we can do, I have gone on a light political fast. However, “tabling” at this event, swarming with frustrated and energized conservatives, put a temporary end to my poli-diet. CPAC week was a steady build up of anxiety in reaction to the constant complaints about Obama, the loyalty to the firearm, and the debates between sticker-wielding supporters of Romney, Newt, and Santorum.

I found myself in the tough position of agreeing with many talking points being passed around, but strongly disagreeing with so many others. I'm Catholic, not R, D, or L.

All-in-all it started to wear on me.

Read about it here...

Carrying Baby Jesus into Christmas Mass

Dust off the cameras and projectors, pull out the forgotten chairs, and unpack several dozen more sleeves of wafers: Christmas is almost here! With Christmas comes the perhaps temporary, reverse diaspora of many of God’s people.

Time to shake off the dust to let the Light shine through ourselves. We’ve been preparing for this, friends!

Sometimes Advent feels more like a rat race through increased traffic and higher credit card bills than a time of preparation for the coming of our Savior. I have filled too many of my adulthood Advents with inconsequential priorities that stomp out the importance of the season until Christmas Eve arrives.

Even on Christmas Eve I have found myself frustrated that my family must be dressed and in the car almost two hours before Mass begins in order to secure a seat. These “fair weather” attendees make me feel crowded, I’m ashamed to say I have thought.

This is the opposite attitude I should have when celebrating the birth of the Christ who came to save all of us.

This year, in an effort to pump up my prayer life, I will welcome the claustrophobia as the opportunity it is! There I will be, facing a packed room of new people to speak to! Consider taking this twice-a-year chance to meet these new people. They might consider coming to Mass more often if they found a sense of community at church and it’s our job to introduce them to it.

Imagine what it must be like to walk into church for the first time in nine months, picking a seat surrounded by silence on a day signified by joy. It would be hard to muster the courage to reach out at your premiere Mass — and sometimes the second opportunity doesn’t come. Let’s talk to them now.

Read more at IGNITUM TODAY!

Our deepest fear

Stop what you're doing and read this quote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' 

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. 

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Williamson, Marianne, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles," Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3] -- Sometimes attributed to Nelson Mandela, but he borrowed it from Ms. Williamson)

I know several friends and family members who are looking for a career change, looking for a job, trying to make a big life decision, and learning how to discern. Listen here, y'all.

God don't make junk. He created you with a unique set of talents and strengths. Remember this, read aloud the above quote, and go forth!

Socialis Saturday

IgnitumToday has begun hosting a "Socialis Saturday" to bring the writers and commenters together in one forum. We want to hear from you! Today's topic is

What is the brightest new idea

that you had this year that

you would give as advice

to someone else?

Join us!

IgnitumToday is the new name for Virtuous Planet. For those who do not know, VP faced legal problems if the name was not changed. No one likes a lawsuit (well, most don't), so we changed it! Please follow us (again!) on Facebook and Twitter!

Cathdudes, we need you

I told you I'd be back and I think this week proves it. I feel compelled to apologize for the blogging overload, but then I immediately say to myself, "HEY, you are back in the groove. Apologize not for your grooviness." Then I wonder why I talk like Yoda when I talk to myself.

I'm over at VirtuousPla.net today, pointing a big ol' finger at the men in this world. Yes, YOU! Bonus: I doctored a Superman photo and created SuperCathDude, complete with Vatican symbol on the chest. Glory! -- UPDATE: The links are fixed now.

Calling all young men with a blossoming Love for Christ! Your time has come, brothers. You have been called up.

"It is my wish, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument." - 1 Timothy 2:8

We need you and your manliness to take one for the team and be Catholic dudes. Step out of the blogosphere every day and be Catholic dudes for lost and struggling dudes.

Abs-olution of steel!

We need men to step up unabashedly and show us why even the best examples of men in the media fall short of what we deserve and what our world deserves. Yes, we’re human, but that doesn’t mean we should aim to eat from the dumpster when there’s a feast waiting in heaven (source: Jason Evert).


Barney from How I Met Your Mother: Please, men, show us how satirical this terrible example is for men. Show us how his hyperbolic “player” ways are insulting to men and women alike every time he tricks a woman into going home with him and proceeds to talk about it like he won a little league trophy.


Gibbs from NCIS: Believe me, I am definitely a fan of this man and his stoic heroism, but he’s not the best male figure on TV. He got married three times after his true love, his first wife, was murdered. He avenged the murders of his wife and daughter in a brutal, execution-style sniping. This man takes morality into his own hands, following his own rule book. Men, we need you to show us how affirming humility and vulnerability before your Father are.

Read more here...

Engage, the other "E-word"

I'm over at VirtuousPla.net today with a post about a very spooky word.

Evangelizing is a scary word and Catholics don't like it.

I used to date a Baptist and in the spirit of ecumenical harmony, I went to a "megachurch" with him. I was greeted at the door by several smiles, handshakes and an immediate welcome. With the exception of some hateful words from some YoungLife kids in high school, I felt a strong sense of community and Love at Protestant events.

Theology aside, Protestants sure know how to attract souls. When you see someone brimming with joy, you want to know how they found it!

Somewhere along the way, Catholics stopped evangelizing. 

Maybe it's because we produce so many of our own? No matter the reason, it's time to start engaging again.

Before you run away screaming, here is a list of easy, but active ways YOU can spread Christ's message without worrying about shoving a bunch of words down a stranger's throat:

• When you're at the store, chat with the cashier like your goal that day was to make them smile. I have a friend who spent a year as a missionary at Covecrest Life Teen camp in Tiger, GA where they did this regularly as an exercise. He is a CHAMPION single-serving chatter. "Single-serving," like Fight Club, and "chatter," despite his introverted characteristics. I've been to the store with him many times and I'm always amazed at his ability to be sincere, speak to the cashier like he or she is his only interest for those few minutes, and eventually bring up the greatness of God in light conversation. It's inspirational. Be that kind of champion!

• To the business and other frequent travelers: You are #winning, yes oh yes. You know to put your three ounce liquids in a quart-sized baggie and in an easily accessible place, you know how many plastic bins you need in the security queue, you know not to wear shoes with laces, and you know to hold your arms in a wide Y in the security scanner. Instead of letting your frustration with amateur travelers get to you when you're at the airport, smile. Give the cashier an extra five dollars and ask them to subtract that from the bill of the person behind you. Be patient, even if others are outrightly rude to you.

• Go to the parish picnic and introduce yourself to five people you've never seen before.

Read more...

She reigns

Feminine Genius: The Interior

"Made in the Image of God?" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Peace Within" Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"She reigns" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

The original Bright Maidens chose this topic to follow last month's topic (Feminine Genius: The Dress) because of the unexpected blow-up in [uncharitable] comments on Julie's blog post. We happen to think some of those who commented were misunderstanding her post's objective, but in an effort to "listen first to understand, then to be understood," we want to explain our full understanding of the Feminine Genius.

"You ain't all that, honey, and all the dresses in the world aren't going to fix what's wrong with you." 

-Anonymous Commenter 2

I still laugh when I reread the comments on Julie's last Bright Maidens post. This offending concluding sentence came at the end of a ramble about good tailoring, an insult to Julie's friend's wardrobe choice, and more random explanations about what makes a woman look her best.

Our Patron

The consensus is this commenter was a female. Comments like the above quote prove that she missed the boat on how to make a woman appear in the best light, ie, not eternally insulting and provocative.

We're all called to serve in Christ's mission. Our mission is to serve for His mission.

Some have God-given musical talents or use humor to serve Him, while others must assume a role through sportsmanship or writing. We use what He gave us, including the gifts of our femininity and masculinity, depending on our sex. The roles of men and women are simply different, not one better or worse than the other.

One major hang up for non-Catholic onlookers (and for some within the Church), is the concept of the woman in the body of the Church. I've heard the lament many times that the Church doesn't treat women well, the stand out reasoning stemming from the ordination of male-only priests.

Have they forgotten our reverence for the Holy Mother of God? Have they forgotten that we refer to the Church as a female body?

Christ died for the Church, just as men "die" (either literally or figuratively) for those they are called to protect. This doesn't mean a man is greater just because he is the same sex as Jesus. It means we have different roles with different service opportunities.

As Bl. John Paul II once wrote, God entrusts people to each and every other person. However, the woman is entrusted with the ability to bear human beings "precisely by reason of their femininity" in a special way.

He went on to explain that the "feminine genius" is the effect of the strength drawn from this awareness and this entrusting. It has been this way since the beginning of time, throughout the Old Testament, especially during the Annunciation, and continues today.

"A woman is strong because of her awareness of this entrusting, strong because of the fact that God 'entrusts the human being to her', always and in every way, even in the situations of social discrimination in which she may find herself. This awareness and this fundamental vocation speak to women of the dignity which they receive from God himself, and this makes them 'strong' and strengthens their vocation." -Bl. John Paul II, "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women on the Occasion of the Marian Year"

The genius of femininity does not take away from the masculine genius anymore than the masculine genius strips power from the feminine genius. The two work in tandem, ideally filling the roles we human beings can possibly fill on Earth. The power is God's.

Let's look at the feminine genius of three very different women in my life: My mother, my confirmation sponsor, and my cousin.

For more by Elaine Golden, visit her site!

My mother utilized the gift of her fertility to bring three daughters into the world, furthering her own genius as well as bringing more of it to light! She constantly serves us, especially in her sacrifice with her job, which she has held for more than twenty years.

Her avocation was to provide for her family and she sacrificed some of her career happiness for us in that regard. On top of that, she offers each of us tailored emotional support and counsel.

My confirmation sponsor has been a family friend and true role model for me all of my life. My sisters and I are her spiritually adopted children, whom she serves with deep love and devotion, for whatever purpose we may need.

This woman is the one who cleans up the table when she's a guest at your house, but will wrestle you to the ground to prevent you from doing the same at her house. She is a humble servant of God through the sacrifices she makes for others.

My cousin is only a few weeks younger than me and, likewise, is unmarried. When my grandmother died in April, she was at the starting gate with a tray of sandwich meats in one hand and a hug waiting on the other arm.

She didn't share blood with my grandmother, but she had grown up with her always present at family events. Her selflessness, helpfulness, sacrifice, and servitude for us during that grieving period was poignantly impressive and a true show of her love for God through us.

As I mentioned in my "Month of the Dress" post, it doesn't matter how feminine we look, whether or not we have borne children, or how good we look doing it. Our "dress" is our service.

It's the consolation of a friend in a time when words won't do the trick. It's the casserole we made when our co-worker loses a family member. It's the laughter we share in with those we love.

It's the glance we posses as we look at the man we love in a way that communicates to him how important he is to our life. It's the softness of our skin when we sit in a nursing home, 40 years beyond the hustle of motherhood.

Through Mary's example, let us pray that we women gain the strength to recognize that which God has entrusted in us.

"For her, 'to reign' is to serve! Her service is 'to reign'!" - Bl. John Paul II about Our Mother Mary in Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women.

Gallivantisms

My wonderful employer has paid for me to take trips around the country to a handful of cities over the last two years. Washington, DC several times, Cleveland, Las Vegas (X2), Denver, Ashville, NC, and Seattle... I have learned a lot about how to travel and how to learn from travel.

I spent Saturday traveling and identified some of the lessons learned along the way:

• Travel chatting is a great forum for gentle evangelizing. Edward Norton's Narrator voice in Fight Club called them "single-serving friends," but we can make an impact on someone that lasts longer than a one-trip-serving. 

• Make an effort to be overtly kind. Some of the customer service representatives get yelled at every hour, on the hour, for no reason other that people are cranky when they travel. Sometimes I think people assume customer service representatives are feelingless, people-shaped computers. Treat them like they're your brothers and sisters.

• It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone when en route than when you’re in your hometown. Travel makes good practice for staycation-evangelizing.

• When packing for a trip, pick a color palette so one pair of earrings will do and you can reuse some items. Not only is it way cool to be the one with the smallest luggage, but it’s less exhausting than pulling behind you a gigantic bag.

• One of the only times I use hand sanitizer is when traveling. And I make it count for the rest of the time I don't use it.

• Calories don’t count when you have to travel all day.

• The ratio of Hail Marys per hour increases when you feel the end is near... like during takeoff. Causation, not correlation.

• Airplane biscotti cookies are delicious. And free.

• For me, airplane rides and airports straddle the line between crack-cocaine and the shower-idea-compendium. I spent my entire Saturday traveling, which means I spent my entire Saturday writing.

• On every airplane trip, there is a moment (or fourteen) where I actually believe the flight will never end. This is when I must have faith.

• It has become entirely socially acceptable to text while walking, to my dismay (unless I need to do it and then it is to my delight).

• There is often a small part of me that expects to bump into a celebrity. I don't know why I feel that way, but it's a subconscious itch in the back of my mind. This time, it came true... even though I didn't actually see him. Apparently Detective Lassiter from Psych was in our hotel this weekend.

• I suspect airplanes are really teleportation portals. Sometimes.

• There's no place like home.

Say Yes to Life Blog Carnival Tomorrow!

Hello friends!

Tomorrow I will be posting a piece related to Fire of Thy Love's "Say Yes to Life Blog Carnival."

 

To post something to the carnival, enter your information in the form on this page.

To post the image I have here, paste this into your HTML side:

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Also, LIKE Fire of Thy Love on Facebook. They need 6 more likes before they can personalize their username... I'm geeked out and excited to help them do that, so LIKE THEM!

Philosophical chatting

Ahh, Gchat! You weren't the first chat vehicle, but you sure do provide a forum for some deep discussions.

As you may have seen, Leah of Unequally Yoked is holding a Turing Test for atheists and Christians to participate. Julie emailed a bunch of Catholic bloggers, informing us of the need for participation and Stacy wrote back with a whole post dedicated to why she cannot take the test.

It's a brilliant explanation and I encourage all of you to read it before continuing.

Did you read it? Okay, good. Now you can read my cop-out.

I read Stacy's explanation and wondered how Stacy managed to reach into my head and tidy up the thoughts that were going through my head when I was struggling with Leah's test! I simply could not vote in Leah's test and it was bothering me.

Don't feel trapped.

First of all, I was a little afraid, which can be a great challenge for faithful individuals. Fear is okay; I assert that it's a good thing. A fearless person of faith hasn't explored enough, if you ask me.

I responded to Stacy with the handy "reply all," thanking her for her words, which also reached Bryan of Calling All Witnesses. He used the ever-powerful Gchat to spark our own response.

Please forgive me for my laziness, but I'm just going to share it with you:

Bryan: Hey! I just saw  your e-mail and I had to log on and tell you that I had that SAME  feeling too!! If we're all feeling that way, there's gotta be something  to that... :)

Me: I agree!

Bryan: There was one that I read and my first reaction was "man, that's gotta be an atheist, because they are way off!"
But  then I thought, "Well, what if that really was a Christian, and they are  either just getting started, or haven't formed their beliefs properly  just yet?"

me:  Exactly! I was thinking the same thing as Stacy and you, but I didn't want to  back down because it would look like fear of the unknown to Leah.
When you break it down like that, you realize Leah might be trying to point out  (either knowingly or unknowingly) that any disagreements among  individual Christians proves that Christianity is so flawed that it  can't be true.

Bryan: Good point. And  in the end, it's not about what you or I think about what the Church  teaches (in the case of Catholicism), it's what the Church in fact  teaches... And why.

me: Bingo.
There  is an ultimate Truth. Getting a consensus on the fact that people  disagree on what that ultimate Truth is doesn't disprove that the  ultimate Truth exists.

Bryan:  Yes! There were a lot of people that thought the Sun revolved around  the Earth.  And when there was disagreement, it didn't mean that there  was no Truth... It meant that the ultimate Truth was that the Earth  revolved around the Sun. Fr. John has a great line about the Earth being round...He says: "You can want the Earth to be flat all you want, but you wanting it to be that way, doesn't make it so!

Bryan pointed out that "Truth transcends time..."  Even if there hasn't been enough time to fully discover the Truth, it still exists. He said that, for example, "'It takes the sperm from a man and an egg from a woman to produce a baby" is true for all people, at all times... two sperm together won't produce a baby and neither will two eggs."

As Stacy pointed out, Leah took care to be fair and keep things balanced in this little experiment. I don't think she purposefully targeted faith as if it's an object sitting in a room, waiting to be ridiculed, as evidenced by her commitment to understand her boyfriend's Catholic faith over the last year.

We should take these strides to understand one another, but we need to recognize that in many ways, we're not speaking the same language with the same definitions.

"Where (I) am going you know the way."(John 14:4)

Accept them, forgive them, let it go

Think your grudges are tiny enough not to matter? Think that because you're in the right and someone else is in the wrong that you're justified in withholding forgiveness?

"Many people have been asking me, 'What can I do for you? Please, I'll do anything.' Well, here's what you can do for me. Every single one of you: please, if there's anyone in your life who you haven't accepted, whom you haven't forgiven, or against whom you hold a grudge, please, accept them. Forgive them. Let go of the grudge. Love them. This is how you can help me, this is what you can do for me. This is how we can share Christ's love with the world."

A wise, strong woman uttered these words (paraphrased) today at the podium in a Cathedral. She was standing next to her eldest son, looking out onto a sea of family and friends, pleading with them to show and share true Love.

She wanted all of us in the congregation to release the grip that the devil often places on us.

This is how we could help her, she said...

...on this the day of her teenage son's funeral.

#TradPickUpLines

This is what non-tweeters are missing. Sarah, Jackie and Kassie started this hilarious trend for "trad" pick-up lines. If you're a traditional ("trad") person, or if you just want to see what being a "trad" is all about, check out these hilarious snippets.

UPDATE: Read Sarah's explanation of the catalyst for #TradPickUpLines, including the first few:

• Would you like to glorify God through traditional gender roles with me?
• Excuse me, I think you have the rib I'm missing. Would you like to help me promote the culture of life?
• You were created to be my helpmeet. Let's subdue the earth together 
• Let's raise a quiver full of traditionalist culture warriors. 
• Would you like to break the bread that you baked with me?
• Would you like to not practice NFP with me? 
• Let's change your headcovering from white to black.(Married women wear black mantillas.)

They're in chronological order (with two exceptions, which I have numbered in the order in which you should read them) with the most recent at the top:

FireofThyLove: You look like the kind of girl who understands her luteal phases #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic: The : Top 10 Trad Pickup Lines - http://shar.es/Htbv3 #TradPickupLines

gludlam: You smell as nice as incense at the traditional Latin Mass. #TradPickupLines

MCardaronella: You have the cutest little curl in your tongue when you receive communion. #TradPickupLines

gludlam: The white of your mantilla really compliments your blue eyes. #TradPickupLines

jrpascucci: Do you have a deep Marian devotion? 'Cause you've got me thinking of marryin' you. #tradpickuplines

Deacontom: Last 1: I think I might become a deacon; I won't be able to get married. Would you just talk to me for a while? #tradpickuplines

MCardaronella:You have the cutest little curl in your tongue when you receive communion. #TradPickupLines

gludlam: The white of your mantilla really compliments your blue eyes. #TradPickupLines

jrpascucci: Do you have a deep Marian devotion? 'Cause you've got me thinking of marryin' you. #tradpickuplines

Deacontom: Last 1: I think I might become a deacon; I won't be able to get married. Would you just talk to me for a while? #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: May I meet your father? I'd like to share with him my immaculate intention for you. #tradpickuplines

jrpascucci: Hey. I'm discerning marriage. Would you like to join me? #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: I like to take an annual pilgrimage to the city of Trent, you should join me some time. #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic:  Achoo! Sorry, i must be allergic to liturgical sensibility! #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic: Even if I was the last man on Earth after the Three Days of Darkness? #tradpickuplines

vitaconsecrata: Blessed are you among women! #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic: Is it hot in here! Did I die while committing a liturgical abuse, or is that just you? #tradpickuplines

CallAllWitness: Can you turn around so we can talk facing the same direction? What!? Yes, I AM aware Vatican II didn't say it like that! #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: Come on over here, let me see if I can't enkindle in you the FireofMyLove #tradpickuplines

DfendUsInBattle: I know a guy who can get me a great deal on 15-passenger vans. #TradPickUpLines

cathrynspry: You're like a solemnity in Lent. #TradPickupLines

VitaCatholic: You do know that parental control over courtship is a Calvinist heresy, right? #TradPickupLines

badgercatholic: Is it hot in here! Did I die while committing a liturgical abuse, or is that just you? #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic: Hey good lookin’, do you like cookin’? #TradPickupLines

badgercatholic: I'm a regular Don Juan ........of Austria! #TradPickupLines

FireofThyLove: You look like the kind of girl who understands her luteal phases #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: You and I could start our own movement. We'll call it sspxoxo #tradpickuplines

badgercatholic: What are the chances of a guy like me meeting your father to to discuss our engagement? #TradPickupLines

badgercatholic: I looked up the word PULCHER in the latin-english dictionary today, and your picture was shown. #TradPickupLines

badgercatholic: What say we enjoy some active participation? #TradPickupLines

vaticanspy: Let's plant a domestic church together. Don't worry - I'll make all the decisions. You can just cook. #TradPickupLines

CatholicMarie: I love #tradpickuplines but they're hard to think of...need some ideas? Check out these and cite them :) http://on.fb.me/fOkYeP

samthomeczek: What's that Rick Astley song? "Never Gonna Give You Up" (for Lent). #TradPickupLines (h/t to @chrismjay)

redcactusflower: "How many patron saints would you give your kids? I like the sound of Ambrose Joseph Athanasius Patrick Mary John." #TradPickupLines

samthomeczek: Let's go on an Agnus Dei-te. #TradPickupLines (h/t to @chrismjay)

samthomeczek: I'd like to indulge in you. #TradPickupLines (h/t to @chrismjay)

Nicole_Fisher73: You are certainly a Glorious Mystery! Would you like to play ring around the rosary? #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: Let's read Matthew 19:6 together. In front of witnesses. @USCCB #Tradpickuplines http://bit.ly/igUyd2

Joel_Schmidt: Look, I know you're not interested me personally, but how about some Redemptive Suffering? #TradPickupLines

vaticanspy: "I see you're a convert. I'm more than willing to lead through mystagogy." #TradPickupLines

CatholicMarie: @EHillgrove What lovely scapular brown eyes you have! #tradpickuplines

VitaCatholic: Pope Pius X said "Holy Communion is the shortest and safest way to Heaven" but you look like a close second! #tradpickuplines

vitaconsecrata: do you want to come Home with me? i'll introduce you to my Father and Mother and Brother - they love you. #tradpickuplines

vitaconsecrata: you and i, are two of a kind. it's like we came from the same rib or something. #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: I love the way you pronounce those Latin dipthongs #tradpickuplines

rebeccamodestia: I've also been told I have "nice childbearing hips." #tradpickuplines

churchmankirk: Clamor meum ad te veniat, ad mulierem quae letificat juventutem meam. (My cry goes out to you, to the woman who brings joy to my youth) #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: Our chaperone suggested we watch Fireproof tonight and she says we can watch it in the same room this time. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: I want to homeschool your children. #tradpickuplines

punktomonk: Wanna see my Roman Missile? #tradpickuplines

Deacontom: One more: "I think I've got a vocation to become a monk. Do you have time to share your vision of the future?" #tradPickuplines

Deacontom: Could I meet your significant other and tell him what a blessed guy he is? #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: My father should meet your father and get this underway. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: My heart burns like the Sacred Heart when I see you in your ankle-length dress. #tradpickuplines

redcactusflower: My awesome 3rd date w/ The Beau: "Let's go to Sunday Mass then take photos of old headstones in a churchyard." #TradPickupLines

VitaCatholic: Would you like to meet to discuss any prohibitory impediments to a sacramental marriage? #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: Excuse me, is this seat vacant? #tradpickuplines

Opinionatedcath: So want to go to the "Glory and Praise" book burning #tradpickuplines

Opinionatedcath: Let me read to you Malachi Martin all night long #tradpickuplines

sullijo: Are you tired? Because you've been processing through my mind all night. #TradPickupLines

3liSays: I'd like to have my penance migrated into your hand holding mine. #TradPickupLines

Joel_Schmidt: So, uh, I have an extra ticket to the pipe organ recital... #tradpickuplines

marcpuck: In Crucis Via cum mihi ages? #tradpickuplines

3liSays: It was all about Dies Irae until you walked in wearing a mantilla like that #TradPickupLines

FrCharles: Baby you help me relax like a second Confiteor #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: If you're not the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, let me be anathema #tradpickuplines

3liSays: Ugh, this is a Novus Boredo, Why don't we go study St. Thomas and the Tantum Ergo in Latin after this? #TradPickupLines

FrCharles: Quid facis post missam? #tradpickuplines

Nicole_Fisher73: You can be my deacon and I will be your pulpit. #tradpickuplines

vaticanspy: "How would you like to be the mother of the next TRUE pope?" #TradPickupLines

FireofThyLove: Girl, your cor is loquitoring to my cor #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: Give me a moment to face East, 'cause I've just seen an angel #tradpickuplines

FrCharles: Can I borrow your nail polish to put on the ends of my missal ribbons to keep them from fraying? #tradpickuplines

sullijo: Wanna come back to my place and see my collection of first-class relics? #TradPickupLines

Opinionatedcath: If only Annibale Bugnini had met you there would be no Vatican II #TradPickupLines

1. MCardaronella: Your eyes are the most lovely shade of denim! #tradpickuplines

2. EHillgrove: @MCardaronella Hahahaha they go well with your french braid and plaid dress. #tradpickuplines


rebeccamodestia: Some guy said to me: "So, do you come here to confession often?" at a Cath singles conference. True story. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: I put my net on the other side of the boat and there you were #tradpickuplines

alisongriz: "just answering Christ's command to be a fisher of men". #TradPickupLines

redcactusflower: This actually happened to me at WYD 2002: "Sorry, can't hang out, but here's a Knights of Columbus rosary." #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: You can borrow my first class relic any day #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: and with YOUR spirt #tradpickuplines

FireofThyLove: @EHillgrove Girl you're so fine, if I were pope I'd make your birthday a Double of the I Class #tradpickuplines

1. EHillgrove: I can't wait to hold your hand during the Our Father. #tradpickuplines

2. VitaCatholic: @EHillgrove Don't fall for that one! Real Trads don't hold hands during the Our Father!!! #tradpickuplines

3. EHillgrove: @VitaCatholic True. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: I'm glad that the only veil you take is the mantilla. #tradpickuplines

MCardaronella: I couldn't help but notice you're wearing a white mantilla, are you free for adoration tonight? #tradpickuplines

churchmankirk: There are six days left of the Easter Octave. Let's celebrate with some Solemnity ;-) #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: I love how you smell like incense. It's like everyday is a Holy Day of Obligation. #tradpickuplines

ensucorazon: I'm going to Eucharistic Adoration. Would you like to join me? #Tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: You remind my of my mom's patron saint. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: Oops, you got some holy water on your cheek. Let me get that for you. #tradpickuplines

EHillgrove: Night prayer is going to be epic with you by my side. I like the way you read the antiphons. #Tradpickuplines

briansmith31681: Wanna do dinner & a homily? #TradPickupLines

Nicole_Fisher73: The 11th Commandment is for me to honor thy body. #tradpickuplines

Opinionatedcath: Let me be your your only male altar server #TradPickupLines

samthomeczek: I could quote Ecclesiastes to you all day. #TradPickupLines

samthomeczek: Didn't I see you at the PP vigil the other day? #TradPickupLines

samthomeczek: Would you like to get together for coffee and discernment? #TradPickupLines

johncounter10er: I saw that you wear a t-shirt when you swim; so your brown scapular doesen't float away, am I right? #TradPickupLines #iRetire

RCGuerilla: seeing you has made me rethink my vocation #TradPickupLines.

EHillgrove: I thank St. Raphael for bringing us together #Tradpickuplines

vaticanspy: "How would you like to be the mother of the next TRUE pope?" #TradPickupLines

johncounter10er: Wanna play a game? List your "top-five" favorite Ecumenical Councils... none of which can rhyme with "Attican Shoe"! #TradPickupLines

churchmankirk: Your father's a deacon? Creating you was definitely a Christ-like service to the Church. #TradPickupLines

alisongriz: "what's a nicely veiled girl like you doing at a folk mass like this?" #TradPickupLines.

Trivs: You have the key to my heart, can I have the key to your chastity belt? #tradpickuplines

churchmankirk: After seeing you in that dress, today is gonna be on my calendar as an Obligatory Memorial. #TradPickupLines

churchmankirk: How might I contact your father about asking permission to court you? #TradPickupLines

Nicole_Fisher73: You had me at Hallelujah. #tradpickuplines

churchmankirk: Do you have a brother who's a priest? ... I may need Extreme Unction if you keep making my heart beat like this! #TradPickupLines

johncounter10er: I saw you slip that note in my lunch today! How spontaneous!! You know I only usually read things with an imprimatur! #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: My first language is love, my second language is Latin #Tradpickuplines

churchmankirk: "You smell divine... Like Somalian Frankincense." #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: Your father's horses would look great in my barn. #dowry #Tradpickuplines (now I'm just going back in time)

EHillgrove: Wanna come to my father's house, make me dinner, and watch Glenn Beck in different rooms? #TradPickupLines

EHillgrove: That rosary brings out the color of your eyes. #TradPickupLines

johncounter10er: "I saw you at mass the other day; you weren't wearing a veil. I always knew you were one of those rebellious types" #TradPickupLines

redcactusflower Ok Twitter #Catholics, give me your best #TradPickupLines. "You'd look beautiful driving a big van full of homeschooled kids."

redcactusflower: "Girl, you don't need that Ave Maria Singles subscription" #TradPickupLines

Bright Maidens: Your turn!

I'm sorry for my absence lately. I was concentrating on my family around the time my grandmother died and I was across the country to watch my oldest friend (she's not that old, just 24) get married!

I'll get back on schedule next week. Plus, y'all are going to be busy with Easter so you won't be around to read it anyway!

As I mentioned in last Friday's post, it's your turn to help Bright Maidens fill the Google bucket. The more passionate voices we have out there, the better. Everyone is welcome to participate, as long as you are civil and polite.

Here's the deal:

*After Lent is over, we will switch to a bimonthly, Tuesday posting schedule.
*We'll alert you about topic in the week before on our blogs and/or on Facebook.
*You write your own take on that topic, borrowing our lovely Bright Maidens image, if you please, and link back to our Facebook page or blogs.
*Post the link to YOUR post on our Facebook page, in a comment on one of the three Bright Maidens' links.

You get exposure, we spread the messages further, and, by the grace of God, we can reach the hearts that are searching!

We will not be posting a TBM post on April 26. The next post will be May 3 and we will keep you in the loop before then!

Thank you! I can't wait to read your contributions!

Half measures

Week Five: Issues with the Church

"Going to the Mattresses: One Girl's Take on Faith and Feelings" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"The Church's Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Half measures" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

This is the fifth post of a blog post series called "Bright Maidens." We three are from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. We're here to dispel the myths and misconceptions- please join us for the discussion!

Oooo scandalous. The Bright Maidens are going to share their issues with the Catholic Church! If you were hoping for a crew of young women calling for female priests, contraception (if this is you're guess, please read this), or a revolt on the Holy See, you will be disappointed.

Though we have some eyes to roll and some heads to shake at the several times in Church history, we contend that Christ founded the Catholic Church and the Holy Spirit has been her unfettering guide. We're the Bright Maidens because we're not what the secular world expects of young women who grew up in the Catholic Church.

(I don't own the rights)

What does growing up in the Church require? 

Is this the right question to ask? Many parents run down the concrete answers to this question like it's a honey-do checklist. Baptism, religious education, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, *ding* Catholic microwave says you're done!

Rather than determining how to bring their families closer to God, they go through the motions. Perhaps these parents don't understand the teachings or they disagree with them, but they want to give their children structure and checklists. I'm sure some worry about suffering the all-consuming condemnation from their own parents or in-laws if they neglect the checklist.

It would be a smaller travesty if their apathy and unwillingness to research and ask questions about the faith only affected their children. However, these parents are mixed in with all parents and assigned to elementary, middle, and high school religious education classrooms.

The parish plops a little "Ask Me Anything" button on their chest and identifies them as the authority in the classroom of eager children following their Holy Spirit-guided noses. Apathetic teachers, volunteers, or parishioners teach children by example and those who answer questions incorrectly misinform entire generations.

Until about three years ago, I thought my faith was just for me. I was meant to bundle up, tie a polar bear coat around it, and pray quietly in an igloo, holding my knees to my chest.

(I don't own the rights)

Saying "Praise God" when I felt the urge would brand me a Protestant Jesus freak. Rebutting an insult on the faith with anything more involved than, "It's okay that you believe what you believe and I believe what I believe. We're both right to us," would be over the top and somehow non-Catholic.

Somewhere along the way, Catholics started keeping the zeal for Christ to themselves. The darkness in that cave seems to dissolve any zeal left over from childhood.

We forgot it needs to be in the light and breathe. We're called to bring it to light and pass it around. In forgetting this, we created more of the apathetic parents who teach their practices.

Queue the battle drums call for more involved grassroots efforts in our parishes! We need to make sure kids know this is what it means to be Catholic.

Many parents are busy and can say they have too much taking up their time to learn the answers to the questions they never asked.

"In our time more than ever before, the chief strength of the wicked, lies in the cowardice and weakness of good men... All the strength of Satan’s reign is due to the easy-going weakness of Catholics. Oh! if I might ask the Divine Redeemer, as the prophet Zachary did in spirit: What are those wounds in the midst of Thy hands? The answer would not be doubtful: With these was I wounded in the house of them that loved Me. I was wounded by My friends, who did nothing to defend Me, and who, on every occasion, made themselves the accomplices of My adversaries. And this reproach can be levelled at the weak and timid Catholics of all countries." --Pope St. Pius X, Discourse at the Beatification of St. Joan of Arc, Dec. 13, 1908

Take the time. Catch yourself on FIRE so you can show the Church's children how to be on FIRE for Jesus. We make up the Church He founded!