Stand Up

It was the beginning of true adulthood and I was trying to make friends. Therefore, I got in a reply-all email argument with an acquaintance and got kicked off the team.

When I was just starting work life after college life, I joined a kickball team to try to meet new people. It was so far out of my comfort zone that everyone might as well have been speaking a different language, playing a game I'd never encountered, on Mars, all while in their birthday suits. But I joined and went and played anyway.

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I was surviving, barely. This introvert went to every game, even when the nausea began hours in anticipation of the weekly meetups. Halloween rolled around and the team was emailing back and forth on a thread about what costumes they would don at our next match. One particularly good-looking and friendly acquaintance on my team shared his idea:

"I'm going to wear all black, tape a little white rectangle to the top of my collar, and borrow my nephew's Toy Story Woody doll to hang out of my pants. I'll be a priest with a woody!"

Hilarity ensued. And I couldn't decide if that was rage or more nausea boiling up inside of me.

I'm not big on controversy. I'd much rather everyone just make the right choices, keep everyone happy, follow the rules, and everyone just do what they should, thankyouverymuch. I do my best to fit into that mold and people please as needed along the way. In a perfect world, I never have to face controversy. I was at an impasse:

If I want people to follow the rules and do what they should, what should I be doing in this moment?

I fired back about how I am Catholic and that he can't be serious with that costume. He and others laughed it off and responded with gentile manner about how it was just to be funny and that the costume was harmless. Again, impasse: laugh along with them and decide I was taking it too seriously, or continue my protest. You read the first paragraph, so what do you think I did?

Here's the problem with that costume (as if it weren't obvious). It makes a mockery of a really challenging vocation AND simultaneously makes allusions to these horrific acts in which so many priests have engaged.

The hilarious costume wearer told me in a private email that he didn't think it should be considered offensive because "[he] grew up Catholic," (always a point of credibility ex-Catholics think they should share). He said it wasn't offensive because he was just saying that a priest (who, in case you didn't know, takes vows of celibacy in the effort to devote his life to the Church and her sheep) probably had a ... you know ... from time to time. And that makes him laugh.

I told this comedian that not only does that make light of an honorable sacrifice that he obviously couldn't hack, but the fact that he was using a small, male children's toy to HANG OUT OF HIS PANTS conjured images of pedophilia. You better believe this guy is upset at this moment over this grand jury report about which we all learned. But when it's a Halloween costume, it's funny and in no way links him to the evil in our world that leads men to make these horrifying mistakes.

Two comments before my revertigo anger bubbles. This guy (and all y'all) needs to think about how his actions are building morale up rather than going for the laugh at the expense of tearing down the good in our world.

And secondly, good friends are not a dime a dozen. As Mr. Feeny said in the graduation episode of Boy Meets World, "Do good," not just "well," do good. Surround yourself with people who raise your standards for yourself.

Within a day, the coach of the kickball team told me there was another team that was operating with too few players and wanted to know if I'd like to switch. I switched. And within a few weeks I became much more involved in my parish's young adult group. The same group where I met the man who is going to get me to Heaven (God-willing) and who gave me my daughter.

Catholicism in comedy

I enjoyed this insightful article by King's College's Jonathan Malesic in America Magazine discusses the Catholic undertones in comedian Louis C.K.'s writing and comedy.  Malesic makes the connection between Louis C.K.'s humor and St. Augustine.  These Truths we know and love are instilled in us as little ones, aren't they, and as evidenced by the points Malesic makes about Louis C.K.'s implied understanding of morality (though, note, not his practicing of that morality).

For example:

In this way, the comedy of Louis C.K. plunges into moral depravity in order to discover its illogic. By contrast, George Carlin’s comedy understood sin only on a third-grade level, as an action that breaks the (to him, absurd) rules. In Louis C.K.’s comedy, sin is perverse desire. It is a profound Augustinian thread. Following it leads to some of Louis C.K.’s best insights but also to his darkest and most questionable material...

The whole part of the article that I wanted to share was too much for a pull quote, so you'll just have to read the article to understand the context. Overall, Malesic's points give this optimist hope for his and other baptized-Catholic celebrities' chances at True and public evangelism.

Question: Building the Church

Please help.

This weekend's and this week's readings open discussion about cravings. After last weekend's retreat driven by community atmosphere ahead of Sacramental gifts, my husband desired the Eucharist like a severe craving. He desired it to be in a reverent setting with kneelers, quiet reflection before Mass, genuflecting, and a tabernacle present behind the altar.

Full disclosure: I follow the
"be in unity with your congregation" policy
(credit: CatholicMemes)

Therefore, we participated in Mass at a parish in another part of town. Why? Because, frankly, we have not found those things at our parish.

Mass at the church we visited this weekend was so beautifully reverent, we both joyfully teared up prior to receiving the Eucharist. It felt like letting out a big bubble of air: the kind you kept taking in as little sips of breath over and over until there was no more room.

It's a point of struggle for me: stay at the parish where my parents attend, where I received all of my Sacraments (including matrimony), and where my husband and I involve ourselves in multiple ministries, or go to another parish.

We could be a part of bringing our current parish community closer to understanding the Eucharist and the fulfilling joy it brings. On the other hand, the parish was founded with a specifically community-focused atmosphere instead of one with a Sacramental emphasis (can you tell how hard I'm trying to word this?). There are many beautiful, joyful members of the parish who exude Love. However, there is a profound dip in attendance (you've heard that before) and I know attention to the Blessed Sacrament would help heal us.

Help me. I have been somewhat against church shopping, but I keep feeling a call to celebrate Mass in a more reverent setting. What do you think?

Multicultural Education

This was the week. I've been praying in anticipation for my multicultural education class this week, knowing that the topic would be "heterosexism." This really isn't my number one concern for our world, but I knew I would be in the minority on this issue and didn't want to neglect my call to it.

In preparation for this week, the professors gave everyone a circle pin that says "Support Gay Rights," asking us to make our own choice about whether or not to wear it for two weeks. There is a reflection assignment due at the end of the semester reviewing our choice. No discussion, just "will they or won't they?"

I prayed that I could open up my heart to be the Holy Spirit's instrument and that I would be able to communicate Love for person, while still speaking the Truth. I knew this would probably alienate me from most of my classmates.

We have to write a reflection paper at the end of every session of "Multicultural Education." This was mine:

This debate is demeaning Love down to this.

As is my habit, I think I made my views somewhat clear last night. The risk with having views such as mine, especially after the entire class watched that film ["For the Bible Tells Me So"], is that voicing them falls on ears that already have opinions about me as an Other. I wish the button experiment was a discussion rather than an assumption that choosing not to wear the button means one is a bigot or a religious nut. I make a very conscious choice never to use “gay” as a derogatory or to refer to people with same sex attraction as an Other. People with same sex attraction face a lot more struggles than I can comprehend and just like other people who face struggles I don’t fully understand, they deserve my respect and compassion. This issue truly isn’t my number one concern, but I think it influences a lot of other parts of our society that concern me (ie, adoption of children by gay couples intentionally removes a parental role from the family). I understand that I am in a shrinking minority, but the message that I kept hearing last night (“Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get one.”) is an unfair one that undermines and silences discussion.

I appreciate that the film included parents who discovered that they needed to have compassion and Love for their children. I also understand that this played well into the “Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get one” stance. However, I agree with the African-American mother when she said that she realized that her thoughts and fears about her daughter’s sexuality centered mainly around her having sex.* Her daughter is still her daughter, no matter to whom she is attracted, and she needed to remember that. This is an important thing to remember for every “Otherism,” including the otherism the movie displayed against their icon for “Christians who stand against ‘gay rights.’” We all struggle with our own burdens and understandings of our world. I don’t subscribe to the idea that the world is void of a Universal Truth, but I recognize that we’re all searching for it, even if that is subconsciously.

*This link will bring you to the part of the movie I mentioned above. Note: I don't 100% agree with her approach, but she made a good point that can help those of us who forget to Love all people.

Instruct the Uninformed - 7QT, Volume 54

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Join us on Facebook!

Have you ever been an Extraordinary Minister? What we used to call "Eucharistic Ministers," we should now call "Extraordinary Ministers." That is my first instruction in this 7 Quick Takes version of this week's Bright Maiden's topic on the first Spiritual Work of Mercy, "Instruct the Uninformed."

This is a tough task to ask of people trying to attract others to the Faith. To "instruct the uninformed" or to "instruct the ignorant," as it is often stated, sounds arrogant. As if we must bless others with the knowledge we have and they go without. But how often do we welcome instruction when we really need it?

Isn't that what all of those college loans are for? Aren't you glad to learn the tips and tricks you find on how to make life easier on Pinterest? When you're unsure about something, don't you wish someone would just set the record straight?

*2*

This is where we come in. Extraordinary Ministers hold the great position of distributing the Eucharist to His people. We actually give Jesus to hundreds of people.

"This is the Body of Christ" -- Words of true weight pass our lips for fifteen minutes.

So what do you do when someone approaches you and obviously doesn't know what you're about to give them?

In most situations (ie, apathetic teens), we can only instruct with "This is the Body of Christ," saying it with purpose. However, when someone is chewing gum, they are obviously ignorant of what they're doing and unprepared to receive the Eucharist.

A fellow EM of mine says that when a parishioner approaches him with gum showing in the corners of their mouth, he leans down and says, "I can't serve you with gum in your mouth. Go spit it out and then get back in line, please."

It sounds harsh, but those who chew gum moments before receiving the Eucharist really shouldn't receive at all. They haven't prepared for it. However, that moment is a moment wherein this person could completely turn away from the Church out of embarrassment or recognize that this EM is giving them a second chance.

Then they work out the rest with God.

*3*

One of my biggest pet peeves as an EM is a silly little ritual many parishioners at my church go through and I would love your input on how to handle it. Several married couples will approach me together, wait for me to give them both the Eucharist, and then receive it together.

ARGH! I should be concentrating on ministering, and I usually snap back into it. Quite frankly, when they stand side-by-side, I think, "Y'all are consuming the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with EVERYONE who has ever consumed the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with Christ! Why do you feel you have to add this extra bit of 'specialness?'"

I've settled on the decision to just administer to the Eucharist to these folks rather than whispering, "I'll serve you, one at a time." What do you think we should do in this case, Extraordinary Ministers out there? Is this silly to you or are you ready to throw a punch at me?

*4*

A friend once went to Mass and sat behind a young boy who, upon returning from the Eucharist line, proceeded to rip the Eucharist wafer into little pieces and tossing them into the air. He caught the pieces and threw them up in the air again.

Horrified, my friend's husband asked the boy if he was going to consume the Eucharist, while the boy's mom sat a few feet away.

It made no disturbance in the pew, my friend held out his hand as the boy poured the pieces into his hand, and he consumed it.

This is instructing the ignorant.

*5*

On twitter the other day, a self-proclaimed "holiday Catholic" said he was going to get the "crackers and wine" and he needed to find a place to get them and ashes.

Because Twitter is a great e-vangelizing forum, even if our efforts there only plant seeds, I decided to reach out. My first thought on this one was, "Why do you care to go at all if you think they're crackers and wine?" I corrected him and wished him good fortune in finding a place he liked. These are easy ways to instruct the uninformed because we don't have the direct confrontation.

*6*

Another Twitter encounter occurred the other day between me, Kate, Karianna, and "Feminist Breeder." You can see some of those points here and here.

The Catholic Church is not anti-gay, as Feminist Breeder was saying, and we wanted to set her straight. Karianna said, "Anti-gay not fair. Catholicism calls for all singles to remain chaste, gay or not." Kate followed up with, "And sin is sin, we're all equally sinful - Church is anti-sin, not anti-gay."


We need to inform those who think poorly of the Catholic Church as well as those who are tossing pieces of Jesus into the air at Mass.

*7*

I don't know whether or not my roommate thinks poorly of the Catholic Church, but I don't think she was familiar with Natural Family Planning methods. The other day, I told my new roommate that I am interested in using NFP as a wife and she said, "Is that like biorhythms?"

Thanks to folks like Katie, I got to explain to her, no, NFP is not like the rhythm method anymore. I explained that the rhythm method was used back in the 1930s and that we know a lot more about how best to avoid or to achieve pregnancy while keeping God in our bedrooms.

I also used the opportunity to explain that most of the methods are at least 97% effective when used properly (which relies on married couples communicating -- another benefit), which is far more promising than something like condoms. The error margin of condom use increases exponentially with every use (statisticians, help me learn how best to explain this, please!), while NFP methods remain effective as long as couples chart and communicate.

Every little conversation plants a seed and every little bit of ignorance we can rub out of the world leaves more opportunities for the Lord to work. This is our calling!

Carrying Baby Jesus into Christmas Mass

Dust off the cameras and projectors, pull out the forgotten chairs, and unpack several dozen more sleeves of wafers: Christmas is almost here! With Christmas comes the perhaps temporary, reverse diaspora of many of God’s people.

Time to shake off the dust to let the Light shine through ourselves. We’ve been preparing for this, friends!

Sometimes Advent feels more like a rat race through increased traffic and higher credit card bills than a time of preparation for the coming of our Savior. I have filled too many of my adulthood Advents with inconsequential priorities that stomp out the importance of the season until Christmas Eve arrives.

Even on Christmas Eve I have found myself frustrated that my family must be dressed and in the car almost two hours before Mass begins in order to secure a seat. These “fair weather” attendees make me feel crowded, I’m ashamed to say I have thought.

This is the opposite attitude I should have when celebrating the birth of the Christ who came to save all of us.

This year, in an effort to pump up my prayer life, I will welcome the claustrophobia as the opportunity it is! There I will be, facing a packed room of new people to speak to! Consider taking this twice-a-year chance to meet these new people. They might consider coming to Mass more often if they found a sense of community at church and it’s our job to introduce them to it.

Imagine what it must be like to walk into church for the first time in nine months, picking a seat surrounded by silence on a day signified by joy. It would be hard to muster the courage to reach out at your premiere Mass — and sometimes the second opportunity doesn’t come. Let’s talk to them now.

Read more at IGNITUM TODAY!

Traveling with Purpose

Tie your running shoes to the outside of your bag before the security lines to save space and wear slip off shoes for ease of removal. Keep your 3-1-1 liquids bag in an outside pocket. Have your ID and boarding pass in one hand and your laptop in the other, prepared to grab two plastic bins.

Fill this place with LIGHT

Much of the last two years of my life have been spent in airports or en route to a different location for work. The quirks of traveling have become habit. I am not as mechanical as Clooney in Up in the Air, but I'm good at the routine.

In the first few trips I took for my job, I concentrated on looking like a professional traveler instead of interacting with others along the way. I was always courteous and kind, I would even strike up a few chats:

"Is this seat taken?" "No, no, it's all yours!" or "I think I'm in the seat on the other side of you." "Okay, no problem, I'll get up!" I was really reaching people to the core.

Airplanes always seem like temporary time machines to me. I get on the plane, sit for X hours and then get off, knowing I might bump into that lady in the restroom or that guy in the line for coffee. We'll probably never see each other again.

It reminds me of how many people on Earth I will never know.

Read more at VirtuousPla.net....

Catching water - 7QT, Volume 47

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

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I did it! The GRE is over, so far, the profuse additions to my vocabulary are still in there. The better to make more cogent arguments, m'dear.

Not only did I feel good about the GRE, but I also surpassed my goal, so thank you for being patient with me! It was not in vain!

*2*

Last week, the Bright Maidens joined YouTube! Subscribe to us because a myriad of lovely ladies (gentlemen are also welcome) who will post short videos there!

If you're interested in posting a video, but you don't want to set up your own YouTube channel, email us! This isn't a "Bright Maidens" thing, it's a #Cathsorority (and #Cathdudes) thing. We like the idea of a video hub full of young voices upholding the Magisterium on YouTube!

Also, don't forget to subscribe to our Google Calendar to be in the know for future topics and dates.

*3*

Sometimes life feels a little like this:

Hat tip to my wonderful beau for the image that made me smile in the middle of the week. I guess all we can hope for is the patience of this little kid who never gets upset that the water disappears right when he reaches for it.

*4*

Of course I'm upset by this post, which explains how a U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission-made training course targets Catholics with negative stereotype. I also acknowledge that Catholics are not the only ones targeted with negative stereotypes in these kinds of forums.

Consider the volatile hatred that Muslims face in this country. Hate is never right.

But we don't want to let things like this Catholic-stereotype foster or grow. We need to be the lights that show how ridiculously untrue a stereotype like this is. If you read the post, you might agree that the stereotype is far off base. I've never heard a Catholic say anything like that to someone.

Stand up to this.

*5*

There are a lot of words in these quick takes....

Facebook ad for a free nun test!

Another fun ad I ran across

Yeah... I'd pay $178.55 for that... who doesn't want to look like they have a glow in the dark butterfly on their chest? Plus, wouldn't that chain tickle your stomach as it hangs?

*6*

My VirtuousPla.net contribution this week: "Engage, the other E-word."

*7*

This week we covered a topic that I think most women are reticent to say is something with which they struggle. It's a topic that doesn't get much breathing room outside of gaggles of women or out of our own minds.

Thank you to those who posted with us this week! You're brave to put your experiences out in the open so that others may learn. If you're reading this and you have young sisters or daughters, please share these with them.

I wish I knew then what I know now. Heck, I wish I know NOW what I think I know now.

Trista, "Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters"
Julie, "Cootie shots and conundrums"
Mine, "Easy Bake Love Story"

Mary, "Is he wearing a ring?"
Sarah, "What would Miss Austen do?"
Rebecca, "The 'thing,' the 'friend zone,' and becoming who we ought to be"

How to Cath-Tweet

First of all, please excuse me as I recite the Blogger's Lament:

I'm sorry I've been out of touch lately. I have been traveling and "suffering" from Quarterfinishitis. I have about 25 posts that have ideas and outlines, some with intros and body paragraphs, but none of which are finished. I'll settle back in soon enough.

For your learning pleasure, I'm at VirtuousPla.net today, offering a professional's beginner tips and tricks for tweeting with a Catholic edge. I doctored two photos for this and I hope you enjoy them:

Friends, we have come to a crossroad. To tweet or not to tweet?


For those of you grumbling and threatening to move your cursor over to Stumbleupon or Catholic Answers, hang on a second. I have been on Twitter for two and a half years now and I’m convinced it is a valuable idea sharing tool.

Yes, it is also valuable for telling the world about the fly you found in your water glass and your bite-sized review of the Winnie the Pooh movie. Believe it or not, it can go deeper. The Pope is on Twitter (and he uses an iPad to tweet). Twitter had a hand in getting the three original Bright Maidens together. It scrolls article after Catholic article in front of my face, daily.


In short, it is a giant Facebook newsfeed with each status limited to 140 characters.


If you’re on Twitter already and want some tips, I hope you can find some new ones below. If you’re considering joining the conversation on Twitter, read on, my friends, read on!


1. Love your neighbor. Even if they’re antagonizing you and picking a fight. Many anti-Catholics and/or anti-theists use certain hashtags to “bring to the light” their criticisms of that which involves the Church. Don’t bite. If they reach out to you directly, gauge your patience and either respond up to two times or none at all.

Read more...

Gallivantisms

My wonderful employer has paid for me to take trips around the country to a handful of cities over the last two years. Washington, DC several times, Cleveland, Las Vegas (X2), Denver, Ashville, NC, and Seattle... I have learned a lot about how to travel and how to learn from travel.

I spent Saturday traveling and identified some of the lessons learned along the way:

• Travel chatting is a great forum for gentle evangelizing. Edward Norton's Narrator voice in Fight Club called them "single-serving friends," but we can make an impact on someone that lasts longer than a one-trip-serving. 

• Make an effort to be overtly kind. Some of the customer service representatives get yelled at every hour, on the hour, for no reason other that people are cranky when they travel. Sometimes I think people assume customer service representatives are feelingless, people-shaped computers. Treat them like they're your brothers and sisters.

• It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone when en route than when you’re in your hometown. Travel makes good practice for staycation-evangelizing.

• When packing for a trip, pick a color palette so one pair of earrings will do and you can reuse some items. Not only is it way cool to be the one with the smallest luggage, but it’s less exhausting than pulling behind you a gigantic bag.

• One of the only times I use hand sanitizer is when traveling. And I make it count for the rest of the time I don't use it.

• Calories don’t count when you have to travel all day.

• The ratio of Hail Marys per hour increases when you feel the end is near... like during takeoff. Causation, not correlation.

• Airplane biscotti cookies are delicious. And free.

• For me, airplane rides and airports straddle the line between crack-cocaine and the shower-idea-compendium. I spent my entire Saturday traveling, which means I spent my entire Saturday writing.

• On every airplane trip, there is a moment (or fourteen) where I actually believe the flight will never end. This is when I must have faith.

• It has become entirely socially acceptable to text while walking, to my dismay (unless I need to do it and then it is to my delight).

• There is often a small part of me that expects to bump into a celebrity. I don't know why I feel that way, but it's a subconscious itch in the back of my mind. This time, it came true... even though I didn't actually see him. Apparently Detective Lassiter from Psych was in our hotel this weekend.

• I suspect airplanes are really teleportation portals. Sometimes.

• There's no place like home.