The Anti-Lazy Song -- 7QT, Volume 39

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

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Last week was the first time I've missed a 7 Quick Takes Friday since I started them way back in October 2010. I'm shamed.

I'll make up for it.

If it helps, someone arrived on my blog this week by searching "duggar girls wearing pants." Sorry people, not going to happen.

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To start things off with a bang, allow me to introduce you to a beautiful young lady who is discerning God's path for her life. When I say young, I mean YOUNG. This chickadee is in high school and has aspirations of joining a Carmelite order, God-willing, as she said.

The Sorting Hat for vocations.

Her blog is called "Pilgrim's Paean" and I encourage you to be refreshed by her humble but exuberant gifts of service.

*3*

I'm sorry to spoil the refreshment so soon, but I have to bring your attention to Gen Y's new anthem.

"What's up?" "Not much, just hanging" *CORNY*

Bruno Mars "Lazy Song" is a caricature of the young people this day.

I should offer you a Werther's caramel now, right?

My jaw dropped and I almost choked on a fly when I heard this song the other day.

Make fun of being an old man and then read the lyrics. I can picture several teens randomly consulting the almighty Google and searching "i don't feel like doing anything today."

They search for answers and if they haven't already heard the song, now they have a laziness anthem, and it "feels" fine. And we all know, if it "feels" fine, it is fine.

*4*

On my Judgment's Shadow post from April, Cassi at "From a Catholic Daughter," stopped by to articulate perfectly the concept of "judgement." It's a tough subject that divides us all, philosophically, but I think she hit the nail on the head:

"Can't believe I missed this one when you wrote it! What I've been taught is that you can judge a persons actions and a persons words just not the person. It's kindof like how if a child in school was cursing all over the place you would have to send them to the principals office. You've judged what they've said and deemed it inappropriate for the classroom.

The same would go if they were fighting physically with another student, you'd judge their actions and deem them inappropriate for the classroom. This doesn't mean that you hate that child and have judged them to be a horrible person. They are a child of God, but we are called to hold people accountable and to a higher standard."

*5*

The Harry Potter craze seemed to die down a little around here, maybe that's just because my sisters and I quenched our Hogwarts thirst on the final movie's opening night. Get ready for a revival because we have our own "moving pictures," now!

I do not own the rights. But now I'm craving cake.

If you're wondering if I've forgotten about YouTube, let me introduce you to cinemagraphs. I hope the one I embed here works, if not, check it out in this link.

*6*

My high school alma mater is hosting an alumnae art show... eek! I have to show people some of the art I have created since graduating. This is something with which I struggle. I'd love to say I want real criticism about the quality of my work (even though I really think I'm below average, talent-wise), but I don't think I could take it if someone ripped me a new one.

Conundrum. I suppose getting my work out there will kick start my new mission to enrich the artistic side of my life!

In addition to some of the works I had in my art show in 2008, I might submit this one. I made it when I was 20-years-old and it's supposed to represent the moment of transubstantiation...

Or the way I painted it:

*7*

The Bright Maidens and the Pope were in cahoots this week to bring to you a summer reading list! Okay, no one confirmed our topic with Pope Benedict XVI, but he just happened to provide us with his summer reading list in the exact same week as the Bright Maidens. Coincidence?

Check out the lists on our Facebook page! If you don't "LIKE US" yet, tell me what you think of the new splash page I created. Then go ahead and "LIKE" us. Thank you!

I'm announcing our next topic a little early so you can get prepared. On August 16 we will follow our first in a series on the "Feminine Genius." This topic is entitled, "Feminine Genius: The Dress."

In the spirit of experimentation, I've been wearing a dress or skirt at every opportunity for about two weeks. By the time August 16 rolls around there will be about 30 days worth of dresses, skirts, and no-pants behind me. If you want to do something similar and write about a "pants fast," get started today.

If you're a man, please don't try this at home. Stay masculine and skirt-free, the way we like you.

As always, the topic is up to your interpretation, so do with "The Dress" what you will!

7 Quick Takes Friday, Volume 35

Click here to read the original post at ConversionDiary.com

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in't this the truth?

Me: "The Vatican needs a new webmaster."
Julie: "Yeah, it's probably a cardinal being punished."



It turns out that they might have a new webmaster, as the site looks slightly different... Here is Brandon's (The Thin Veil) reflection on the NEW Vatican news website. Follow Brandon on Twitter, too!

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ow cool is our Pope? Pope Benedict XVI tweeted about that NEW news site for the first time this week from the Vatican News Twitter handle, @News_va_en.

And what from what did he Tweet? An iPad.

 I guess that settles any debate about Mac vs. PC, right?

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ne of the treasures of college that I miss the most is history and art history classes.

 Enjoy this video as it scans through 500 years of female portraits.

Ahhh culture, I love it.

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f you have yet to learn about the University of Seattle's permitting Planned Parenthood on campus for student internships, please read here. To sign the petition, click here.

When it comes down to it, this is a CATHOLIC university. 

There are probably professors and students at the university who support abortion on principle or in general. There are people on campus (or who know about the issue from anywhere in the nation) who support abortion... this doesn't matter. 

Disclaimer: I don't think many people hold this opinion anymore.

This is not a political issue because this is a Catholic university. It receives funding from the Catholic Church, a body that opposes abortion and supports LIFE in every doctrine of its Magisterium.

Some Planned Parenthood offices cannot perform abortions. However, the organization funds all of its offices; all of that money is bloody. This university should become a public institution before it allows this publicly funded firm to offer opportunities on its campus.

I wrote my "Judgement for bloggers" post three days before I published it this week. I think it's well-timed because this is a topic that ruffles a lot of feathers. We who oppose abortion should always choose to love the women who have abortions and love those who hold a pro-abortion opinion. 

I love them, but I hate the sin. I hate how many people in my generation are not around today because of organizations like Planned Parenthood. I'm not going to keep my mouth shut on this one.

*5*

hat was heavy. Please enjoy this mental break:

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y goals for July:

*Carve out the time to read and comment on more of YOUR blogs.

*Attempt to use a coupon or discount on every single thing I buy this month (attempt) and add up the savings, just to pat myself on the back.

*7*

eminder! The Bright Maidens are tackling the topic of "tattoos" on Tuesday!


If you haven't participated in a Bright Maidens post before, please join us! Write a little blurb that approaches the topic, grab our image here, and post the link to your POST on our Facebook wall on Tuesday!

Tattoo Tuesday... it has a nice ring to it!


The last topic was "Catholic Modesty" and it turned out really well! Lots of dicussion. Check out the full list of posts here.


Sure enough, Simcha offered her hilarity for the modesty debate (coincidence).

Sneak preview:

"It’s true that women have a responsibility to dress decently so as not to deliberately provoke lust in men. But they do not have a responsibility to make it impossible for men to lust after them."

Judgement for bloggers

What does "as you judge, so will you be judged" mean for bloggers? (Matthew 7:1-2)

I've covered my issue with the application of this phrase in daily life, but I would like your help with another facet.

How do we, as bloggers, fit "not judging" into our work? We can espouse as many teachings as we want in our writing, but we can't control the choices other people make.

However, this is a cop-out:

"My decisions are for me, yours are right for you. We live in a world where fluffy unicorns eat candy corn out of your hand and leprechauns join you for milk and cookies after school."

In fact, this annoys me. I make plenty of mistakes, as do others.

But there is an ultimate Truth. God knows what will bring us the most fulfillment in our lives and several personal decisions will affect that outcome.

As bloggers, we preach to the choir most of the time. We fill the Internet with Catholic Christian teachings, trusting that someone who needs to will read them in our voice.

When I venture out into the real world and see friends who read my blog, I'm hypersensitive about how they interpret my words. I worry that those friends who disagree with me think I'm chronically judging them.

I don't want anyone to think I am condemning them (I am most certainly not!) by disagreeing with their choices, but I don't want to sit in silence, either.

The ultimate answer to my question is: Love always. If my actions are not loving, then I'm not following Jesus' commandment.

Where do YOU think this fits into our mission as bloggers? (Don't laugh, I think we're called to E-vangelize, too)

On Reading Confused Catholic Writers

A Reaction to: "On Dating Nice Catholic Girls"

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"On Dating Nice Catholic Girls" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"On Reading Confused Catholic Writers" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

Beware, fair reader, if you're willing to read all three Bright Maiden posts today, the verse ending in "a woman scorned" will cross your mind. A great upside to Max Lindenman's article, "On Dating Nice Catholic Girls," is that he generated discussion.

I saw my friends get upset about the article on Twitter, I vented about it with my family, and here we are writing about it as a conglomerate.

My venting about this article was preceded by a vague support of it. The first time I started reading Lindenman's work, I thought, "Sexy Puritan? It's a little insulting, but he's a Catholic man on a Catholic site. Hopefully he'll turn this around." I trusted that he would and waited.

And waited.

At the conclusion of the article, I slumped in confusion. What on Earth was he trying to say?

He jumped several times, going off track, and back on. If he was a train, we'd hear about it on the news, read about it in the grocery aisle, and hold candlelight vigils across the country.

"In other words, the Sexy Puritan is a god-fearing, godawful tease. Come the revolution, I assure you, Sexy Puritans will be hunted from helicopters."

He could be playing devil's advocate. He might be showing what the rest of the world thinks of nice, attractive Catholic girls. I'll keep reading, I tell myself.

(I don't own the rights)

However, my efforts were in vain. He continued to write about an ex-girlfriend who was attractive and cuddly, but would not go as physically far as he wanted to go (stand up guy that he is, he even talked about his light pressure on her to comply).

Her morals were strong, but her cuddly nature and attractive physique made her a tease.

It would be childish of me to ask Mr. Lindenman, "So nice, Catholic girls should be unattractive and allergic to physical contact? Or, they should be attractive and cuddly, but "follow through" in order to avoid being a tease?"

When he insulted the JPII generation, the gloves were off.

"One thing, though: a lot of these JPII generation girls are starting to look suspiciously like Sexy Puritans."

What an insult to the work that JPII did for my generation! Theology of the Body has changed my life and many others. JPII is responsible for re-energizing a population that was starting to fall victim to apathy, our sexual culture, and anti-Catholicism.

These women who are both attractive (without having to be "Trad," or someone who looks like they're constantly judging those who show their ankles) and faithful to the Magisterium should be praised.

And you, sir, shouldn't be bitter about "teases."

They're doing their part by holding you to a higher standard. Reach for it.

Here's my suggestion to you, Mr. Lindenman: apply some of the Catholic teaching to your perception of women instead of blaming the JPII generation.

Judgment's shadow

Fair people, I need your input, if you please.

JUDGEMENT...muhahahah!

The New American Bible (Catholic) reads, "Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you," (Matthew 7:1-2).

(I don't own the rights)

I take issue with how this verse is wielded like a weapon.

Some throw up their hands and say "Judge lest ye not be judged," often, in a way that judges his or her accuser. "You're judging me and therefore you are breaking a big rule. Nanny, nanny, boo boo."

My question: are judgement and judging a person are two different things?

When someone berates my faith or person, am I not judging when I refute their arguments? Don't I have to judge in order to construct my response?

In my obviously-not-so-humble opinion, I think the "judgement" referred to in Matthew 7 is really the kind of judgment that assumes one knows the extent of God's mercy.

When one judges someone's ultimate place, heaven or hell (I'd say purgatory, but I don't want anyone to launch into a conniption), as if they know where we end up based on whatever philosophy they believe, I think they step into God's shoes, breaking the law.

YOUR TURN! Tell me what you think about the concept and word, "judgement."

Half measures

Week Five: Issues with the Church

"Going to the Mattresses: One Girl's Take on Faith and Feelings" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"The Church's Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Half measures" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

This is the fifth post of a blog post series called "Bright Maidens." We three are from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. We're here to dispel the myths and misconceptions- please join us for the discussion!

Oooo scandalous. The Bright Maidens are going to share their issues with the Catholic Church! If you were hoping for a crew of young women calling for female priests, contraception (if this is you're guess, please read this), or a revolt on the Holy See, you will be disappointed.

Though we have some eyes to roll and some heads to shake at the several times in Church history, we contend that Christ founded the Catholic Church and the Holy Spirit has been her unfettering guide. We're the Bright Maidens because we're not what the secular world expects of young women who grew up in the Catholic Church.

(I don't own the rights)

What does growing up in the Church require? 

Is this the right question to ask? Many parents run down the concrete answers to this question like it's a honey-do checklist. Baptism, religious education, Reconciliation, Eucharist, Confirmation, *ding* Catholic microwave says you're done!

Rather than determining how to bring their families closer to God, they go through the motions. Perhaps these parents don't understand the teachings or they disagree with them, but they want to give their children structure and checklists. I'm sure some worry about suffering the all-consuming condemnation from their own parents or in-laws if they neglect the checklist.

It would be a smaller travesty if their apathy and unwillingness to research and ask questions about the faith only affected their children. However, these parents are mixed in with all parents and assigned to elementary, middle, and high school religious education classrooms.

The parish plops a little "Ask Me Anything" button on their chest and identifies them as the authority in the classroom of eager children following their Holy Spirit-guided noses. Apathetic teachers, volunteers, or parishioners teach children by example and those who answer questions incorrectly misinform entire generations.

Until about three years ago, I thought my faith was just for me. I was meant to bundle up, tie a polar bear coat around it, and pray quietly in an igloo, holding my knees to my chest.

(I don't own the rights)

Saying "Praise God" when I felt the urge would brand me a Protestant Jesus freak. Rebutting an insult on the faith with anything more involved than, "It's okay that you believe what you believe and I believe what I believe. We're both right to us," would be over the top and somehow non-Catholic.

Somewhere along the way, Catholics started keeping the zeal for Christ to themselves. The darkness in that cave seems to dissolve any zeal left over from childhood.

We forgot it needs to be in the light and breathe. We're called to bring it to light and pass it around. In forgetting this, we created more of the apathetic parents who teach their practices.

Queue the battle drums call for more involved grassroots efforts in our parishes! We need to make sure kids know this is what it means to be Catholic.

Many parents are busy and can say they have too much taking up their time to learn the answers to the questions they never asked.

"In our time more than ever before, the chief strength of the wicked, lies in the cowardice and weakness of good men... All the strength of Satan’s reign is due to the easy-going weakness of Catholics. Oh! if I might ask the Divine Redeemer, as the prophet Zachary did in spirit: What are those wounds in the midst of Thy hands? The answer would not be doubtful: With these was I wounded in the house of them that loved Me. I was wounded by My friends, who did nothing to defend Me, and who, on every occasion, made themselves the accomplices of My adversaries. And this reproach can be levelled at the weak and timid Catholics of all countries." --Pope St. Pius X, Discourse at the Beatification of St. Joan of Arc, Dec. 13, 1908

Take the time. Catch yourself on FIRE so you can show the Church's children how to be on FIRE for Jesus. We make up the Church He founded!

Beyaz Yourself

 Week Two: Contraception

"Evil Don't Look Like Anything" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Wearing Crucifixes and Condoms" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Beyaz™ Yourself" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day 

This is the second post of a Lenten blog post series called "Bright Maidens." We three are from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. We're here to dispel the myths and misconceptions- please join us for the discussion!

 

***I'm tempted to not put a disclaimer here. The reason I will disclaim is because I want you to know my intentions are to spread love. "The road to hell" being what it is, I know the diaspora that occurs between intention and effect. I understand many women are on hormonal birth control for medical reasons. Just consider what I'm saying, I'm not attacking anyone... except maybe the interns who concocted this commercial...***

"You know what you want today, but you never know what you might want tomorrow. It's good to have choices..." This is the introduction to the most recent Beyaz™ commercial.

Hey ladies! Life is like shopping! Yeah, in your designer outfits, perfect hair, and thin bodies, you walk around a pale pink store placing life decisions in the shopping cart, one by one!

First stop: grad school. How could you pick up a degree? Well, having sex outside of marriage is a given, of course. Are you expected to complete a degree without the occasional stress release? So, the next logical step is birth control.

(I don't own the rights)

Now, which birth control should I use? According to the Bayer people, Beyaz™ is formulated with a little extra folate. Yup, that's right. Prenatal vitamins built in, just in case you get pregnant.

Good choice! You're hitting the world with a double whammy of responsibility. Wack, wack, take that.

However, as the next shot shows, if you get pregnant, though your baby will have sufficient calcium, he or she will make the diploma fly off into the air to another part of the store of life.

In our walk around the store, we see other admirable life goals like "picnic at a waterfall," "trip to Paris," and "buy a house." People with babies don't do these things. Celibate people definitely don't do these things.

When picking out a significant other, as the label portrays on the shelf, one must choose carefully, but not too carefully. After all, there is a whole shelf of them and you're "protected."


In fact if you had sex and used this birth control, you'll probably go to Paris with the goofy Ken doll you just picked out two tables ago.

(I don't own the rights)

Oh, but watch out. Don't turn down the wrong isle or you'll bump into the stork carrying a purple, heavy-looking sack. Awkward. No need to worry, this birth control is 99.99% effective. Just shake your head at the silly bird and move on.

To be clear, there are no men in the commercial. No wining, no dining, no actual romantic dates, just little miniature ones trapped in glass boxes like action figures.

The women are strolling along, presumably having sex figuratively as they walk in this dream-like state through the store without concern.

Natural

Why would a puritan like me disagree with this "freedom" these women have over their own bodies? The world tells us, "Sex is natural" and it is.

Let's talk about what is unnatural. Birth control. Contraceptives. Separating an entire reason for the marital bond in order to use your significant other, husband or wife for pleasure only. That is unnatural.

Literally: look at the ingredients in hormonal birth control or barrier contraceptives, ask a 3-year-old to pronounce it for giggles. Then ask a 15-year-old to pronounce it. After that, try pronouncing it yourself.

Woooo blod clots. Actual Beyaz girl.

Crystalina and Jason Evert break down the carcenogenic that is "the Pill" in this article and I highly recommend it if you're looking for a scientific answer to your question.

As a sneak preview, hormonal birth control can cause heart attack, blood clot, stroke, liver cancer, breast cancer, gallbladder disease, headache, bleeding irregularities, ectopic pregnancy, weight gain, mental depression, yeast infection, changes to the curvature of the eye, excessive hair growth in unusual places, loss of scalp hair, acne, partial or complete loss of vision, and more.

Put that in my shopping cart, right away!

My ex-boyfriend, who is very involved in the pro-life movement, once exclaimed that the anti-contraceptive voices should be detached from the pro-life movement. Detached.

No. The pro-life movement gives away too much when it says contraception is okay.

It means we're okay with irresponsibility. You can have all the pleasure you want without "risk," but if biology WHOOPS gives you a baby, then you have to start being responsible. Let's be clear, a baby is always a potential result of sexual intercourse, even if it's "protected." A baby is never the result of not having sex.

Unless you're Mary.

The only "safe" sex is that between two people who are entirely committed to one another. This doesn't include people who are paying rent together, people who have bought meals for each other, or people who met ten minutes ago. This includes those bound in matrimony.

Two bound in matrimony are not granted permission to lust for each other and "have at it." That corrupts sex. They are invited to share in God's gift of making love, or the "intimate sphere," as Alice von Hildebrand calls it. This is only fully realized when the two unite in pleasure and understanding that a child may result from their physical manifestation of love.

More pet peeving

You know what is most annoying about this commercial? Most of the things that these women are shopping for are related to men. If you're so independent and you haven't been "duped" by your biology like those of us who are oppressed by abstinence, why are you still tied to how a man sees you and how you spend time with a man?

The picnic by a waterfall and trip to the "most romantic" city in the world are certainly supposed to be shared with one of the Ken dolls in an earlier shot. How are you more independent with this birth control?

I was going to share with you the video for the commercial, but it has been removed. I can't find it anywhere. Perhaps they made a sour choice and now they see the backlash?

UPDATE: John Jansen found it!

I love 1st graders! Week 15

You know what happens to elementary school students on ValenTIME's Day? They eat a lot of sugar.

It was Halloween part II, but they were still very manageable. This week's topic was "God's family and my family," so we got to hear a lot of interesting comparisons:

* We all Love each other.
* We all go to church on Sunday.
* Mary and Joseph don't eat spaghetti anymore, but I do.
* Jesus doesn't wear shoes in heaven, but moms make you wear them.

The most jarring part about the lesson was learning our "faith words," matrimony and marriage. As I was reading out the simple sentences explaining that matrimony is what a man and a woman enter into when they love each other and want to commit to be together for the rest of their lives... I knew I was reading to a room half-filled with the products of divorce.

I don't own the rights

The statistics were better than I'd hoped, but I think three out of ten had divorced parents and they are still at the age that sharing this is just a fact. The emotional tire marks have been left, but I don't think they have processed them consciously yet.

Immediately I reverted to my semi-childish and certainly simplistic confusion about divorce. I understand that there are abusive situations and those are tough. I do not presume to understand divorce from a first-hand perspective.

HOWEVER, there have to be moments while a couple is dating or is engaged when the hesitant thoughts or red flags perk up, suggesting it is not right. "I am not really willing to commit to this person, for better or for worse."

As a puritan, I firmly believe sex plays a big role in keeping people on the path to marriage when it's not the right path for the couple. I also know that many people don't trust that they can find someone for whom they would not be settling. People do not want to be alone.

So they take a leap that was never meant for them. And now their kids are in my classroom and I have to teach them about this holy sacrament through a vocabulary word and a definition.

I have this log in my eye...

One of my worst faults is my lack of patience with a particular group of people and it's unfair of me to let it continue. For the most part, I have patience with atheists, agnostics, and non-Christian religious people, but my fuse is much shorter with non-Catholic Christians. I feel awful about that and if you're a non-Catholic Christian, I'm sorry for my attitude in my past.

(I don't own the rights)

I have a theory about why this is, however, it's an excuse when there should be no excuses.

The other day I attempted to rationally explain something to a non-Catholic Christian in a comment on VitaConsecrata's blog, but I failed miserably. When I went down the path of the explanation, facing what I thought to be an irrational argument, I got petty, I got a little defensive, and I did not embrace a spirit of Love or Christian unity. Shame on me.

In looking for a good "come back," I consulted Patrick Madrid's brilliant work, 150 Bible Verses Every Catholic Should Know, flipping through the pages on the hunt for the perfect verse for my debate. God was guiding me with his sense of humor and wisdom.

(I don't own the rights)

My eyes brought me to page 147.

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of you eye,' when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." -Matthew 7:3-5

Well, shoot. Humility arrow aimed right at my heart.

This Sunday's homily brought up the most frequently used wedding reading. It is so frequently used, sometimes we glaze over the depth of its meaning because we've heard the words so often:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Not only do I have a log in my eye, but I've let it catch fire. I've let resentment and debate heat up in my heart, preventing me from seeing beauty or potential in Christian unity. 

Dagonit.

Mass-ive disruption

Yes, those kids have been running around throughout the entire opening prayer. I think one of them is wearing tap shoes. Yup, that's them again, doing a jig, as it seems, in... no, on the back row.

This has happened during Mass in a pew just far enough away from you to pique your interest. You've felt the event going on behind you bore a hole in the back of your head. It wanted you to look at it.

Chances are those moms and dads who hear kids playing in the background sympathize with the parents of the noise-makers, but sometimes they just can't help shedding a little attention on the free show. Most parents, at one point, have tried to keep their kids from bunny hopping in circles around the stroller during a funeral (I truly hope this has never occurred), so they know the seesaw of stress:

• Stop it! People are staring!
• Let them stare, they have no idea!
• Oh my gosh, I can't believe my kids are doing this to me.
• They're kids, this is what they do.
• I need a nap.

At the beginning of a recent Mass, a family of 233 kids started frolicking in the back. I think they were setting up a carnival, or at least a Skeeball machine.

Another from the visual diary

We, the crowd, divided between those-who-shall-ignore-and-never-look (my peeps) and those-who-will-look-if-they-damn-well-please, while the poor mother was doing her best to wrangle her children back onto the bench. There were probably only 3 kids, but that's a guess. Remember, my anxiety prevented me from turning around.

I started getting irrationally upset at the people who turned around to shoot the death stare with their irrationally upset eyes. Then I realized: this is pointless and I've completely missed the beginning of the hour of devotion.

To those who turn around and investigate "the problem:" Think about what you're doing. You're annoyed by the kids or by the kids' parents because YOU can't concentrate.

Kids make noise. If you haven't picked up on this, I doubt you can even hear the disruption to begin with, so why are we having this discussion? (Elizabeth, stop talking to yourself)

Secondly, when was the last time of complete quiet in you life? When will there ever be a time of quiet? When, other than in childhood, have you been able to live life without interruption?

There will always be someone within the speaking hall with Tourette's, someone at church who will mess up the Eucharist line because they don't know any better, someone who wants to drive a wedge between you and your faith, someone who is shaking his paper cup filled with coins at you as if to say, "Hello? Can't you hear me?," someone on the phone in the highway lane next to you, and some kid distracting you from your prayer life.

To those who get mad at those who look: you're no better and you're still letting judgment cloud your present mind.

Tie your happiness and your patience to Jesus Christ. Center yourself in the midst of the distractions. It's not God's job or any person's job to clear your mind for you. That's your job. Look at yourself.

99.7% Unnecessary

Today we're looking at a vibrant day of electing, voting, last-minute campaigning, voter intimidating and words, words, words everywhere. I want to make my stance very clear:

I am anti-antibacterial gel.

I said it and yes, maybe that makes me part of the party of "NO," but I have always scoffed at it. It's 99.7% effective at evaporating off your skin. It dries out your hands and it stinks. If I could have a dollar for every brain cell I lost because of breathing that stuff in, well, I would keep sniffing it because I would eventually get rich enough to make smarts inconsequential.

Kidding.

When I was in middle school, Bath & Body Works was making a mint off of girls. We just bought each other multiple sets of flavored soaps, shampoos and HAND SANITIZER. I remember one birthday, these gifts were, quite seriously, the only gifts I received. I just threw out the last bottle. Of soap, I threw out the hand sanitizer immediately because it's dumb.

This is not a scientific blog, which means I may get in trouble with Public Health majors. However, I do know "they" say people who use this cold liquid regularly contract colds regularly. Immune system, schmimmune system, the little squirt bottle says.

My vendetta against hand sanitizer is more relevant during Mass. Every Catholic church I've visited since the Pig disease swine flu H1N1 virus hit the US requires Eucharistic ministers to "wash their hands" before coming to the altar. This does make me giggle, watching the adult members of the parish simultaneously rubbing their hands around and around next to altar table. It is funny.

Because they're purifying themselves so they can touch GOD.

Rather than spell out the obvious, I'll turn to the All Saints Day readings for this year:

“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.” Rv 7:14

My priest blew his nose on a handkerchief before the Eucharistic ministers walked up. No, he didn't squirt squirt squirt from the clear alcohol gel bottle. He went on with his duty of passing around our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to his Brothers and Sisters. I took my host directly from him today and I feel great.

We didn't have the 1st graders today. No school = no religious ed :( One more week :)

A Whole New World?

Aladdin, one of the greatest Disney movies of all time, came on TV this week.

I remember when it came out, I giggled my teeth out when Robin Williams, aka Genie, said things like "Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake. Stick that sword into that snake!" A blue man, in a cheerleader outfit: classic! I still know all the lyrics and melody of "A Whole New World," including the duet parts. I was Jasmine for Halloween one year (obviously, my fear of Halloween didn't play a role when I got to wear long, black soccer socks from my turquoise headband to stand as beautiful raven princess hair). This movie had a profound impact on my young life.

Only this week did it occur to me that the "grown ups" who pieced this movie together probably spent years in and out of meetings. They held focus groups to determine what to do about an Urdu accent or what shape to make Jasmine's eyes. It never crossed my mind that we're listening to white bread DJ Tanner's boyfriend Steve every time Aladdin's voice cracked. Donnie Osmond, the whitest, most American "boy" out there, sang through the "street rat's" lips. Donnie Osmond? He's just a little bit rock and roll... sitar not included.

The producers needed to make sure this painstaking cartoon work was a worthwhile investment of time and money. They need to be sure that my dad and mom would watch the trailer, decide to pack up my sisters and me into our car seats, drive to the theater and put up with the surprises three small children bring to that kind of experience. They needed our money, our impulsive Abu-lunchbox buying, and our decades-later realization that we know that Aladdin can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder, over, sideways and under on a magic carpet ride.

Sadly, something that hasn't changed is that the culmination of the focus groups and marketing discussions meant audience members watched characters prance around Agra, India and the Taj Mahal with inoffensive, white skin and almond eyes. These people looked like they could be from North Carolina in the beginning of the summer.

The hard data told Disney that the only way to get ticket money from the Smiths and the Johnsons (the Goldsteins, the De Lucas and the O'Reillys) was if the cartoons onscreen were white enough.

This is not a groundbreaking uncovering of the discomfort with the "other," it just struck me because I never realized how much our prejudices shaped my childhood. Just think about that office memo:

Hey gang,

Remember, we have to have another facial shape brainstorm session at 10am tomorrow. Last time, we almost nailed it on the big ugly palace guard. It was just shy of unanimous to knock out his front tooth because it makes him look that much more untrustworthy. We think if we darken his skin and leave the tooth out, we can appease all parties on this one.

Thanks! See you then!