Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Marriage *From the perspective of a unmarried, 23-year-old

Full disclosure: I'm not married and I'm 2 years out of college.

To the cynics out there: marriage can work.

I am blessed to witness a healthy marriage in my own home and in my childhood memories. But somehow, the bounty of healthy marriages don't convince cynics or Hollywood scriptwriters. They say marriage is just for "some people" or that marriage is unnatural (though it is really the most natural relationship).

No, we will not recognize literally every moment of marriage as filled with an overwhelming feeling of God's presence, but can choose to see many of them. We make the choice to commit to marriage. This kind of deep commitment really requires a relationship with God and a desire to get one another to heaven. But that's another story.
Regent's Park, London, UK. (My own photo)

In this point in my life, there are hours in which I pray, but I'm distracted and I don't feel washed with passion for what the Lord has done for me. Then, there are days where I cry for no reason every hour because I see beauty everywhere.

Even twenty years removed, I can rewind my mind to re-experience what Christmas felt like as a child. When I learned Baby Jesus arrived on Earth for us, I invited an unquenchable thirst for realizing the awesomeness of God.

He sent His Son for us in the form of a perfect little baby and we get to celebrate it every year (and everyday, hopefully). That thought explodes in my mind... so much so that I cannot think of a less juvenile way to explain it.

As I mentioned, I'm writing a novel about my grandparents' love story. When I listened to my Emil Daddy explain the journey to and through marriage, though it was a short five year union, I noted the biblical Love they shared.

The grandmother I never met and who died when my mom was a toddler was sick her entire life, confined to her bed when she wasn't in school or out with a colostomy bag. Her doctors told my Emil Daddy six months in advance that she was going to die and he kept that burden to himself. He filled the remainder of her life with the Love he'd promised for their lives together as they were united at the altar.

After she died, Emil Daddy remained faithful to that Love as he raised my mom and aunt. They now share that Love in their marriages and I look forward to sharing it in my own.

The magic of Christmas is different now than it was when I was five, just like Love in the first year of marriage is different than Love and marriage 20 years down the road. The growth is essential and we shouldn't morn when the butterflies die.

It is bound to be different as the years pass, but the core Love that you build together remains. The commitment remains, as long as we seek God from the beginning.

My words won't convince someone who doesn't agree that we can seek God, but I hope these people can witness and look for what this real Love looks like in a healthy marriage.

1 comment:

Jim said...

Wait until you have kids. There is nothing more demonstrable of the awesome beauty of God's creation than watching the most helpless offspring in the animal kingdom slowly develop the capacity to think, and reason, and love, and seek out God Himself. To me I find that more wondrous and beautiful than any of the impressive images of God's cosmos shown to us by the Hubble telescope.

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