How to write at letter to someone (you don't know) on a retreat

Years and years ago, I wrote a guide on How to Write a Letter to Someone on a Retreat. It has brought more search engine-arrived traffic to my blog than any other post, by far, and I hope it has been helpful.

As I was cleaning up the spam comments, I saw a real comment from someone suggesting I write a How-To on writing a letter to someone one doesn't know who is also on a retreat.

Super hipster photo by MILKOVÍ on Unsplash

This is a common act of service: writing a letter (palanca, as they are called in my circle) to someone on a retreat even when they are a stranger to you. When retreatants are given their packet of letters and they notice letters from people they've never met who are praying for them, they're further surrounded by the Body of Christ. It can been the source of transformation for someone who might not regularly feel that familial Love within the Church.

In my other post on writing retreat letters, I began with a series of questions to figure out how deep you want to go with the person to whom you're writing. Obviously, that's not a step we can take here. Instead, examine yourself and how you can authentically communicate what you know about Christ's message.

1. What's the likelihood that this person had to battle with the Evil One to make it to this retreat? Consider warning them that they might be going through complicated emotions and obstinate during the retreat because the devil doesn't want him or her there. This might help them feel a little relief over the battle going on inside and open their heart a little more.

2. What was your experience when you were on one of these retreats? Give them an anecdote, especially if it's a truthful one about how you didn't necessarily have that giant 'ah-ha' moment that everyone else seemed to feel. Encourage them that the journey to Faith isn't about the seen and the felt.

3. What works of mercy can they employ during the remainder of the retreat? Encourage them to reach out to someone they've never met before or to go on a hike when they really just want to lay on their bed. Challenge them to treat the retreat like a chance to do something differently. They can always go back to "normal" when they get home (little do they know that our Lord will always be working on them).

4. Are they journaling during their time? Enclose a blank piece of paper (and a pencil, if possible) and encourage them to write down some of their thoughts. Tell them that it's okay if the thoughts are rants or if they seem pointless. God can work with that.

5. Obviously, you have to keep this letter slightly general and one-sided, as you don't know this individual. Know that when I received letters during my retreats from people I didn't know, I was reminded about the Body of Christ. We are all in the Communion of Saints and I was privileged to know that someone cared enough about the Church (the people in it) to write to a stranger.

Things to remember:

• Less is more. Lots of words do not always mean more love. You can have a greater impact with carefully chosen, few words.
• Keep in mind that he or she is probably exhausted. Retreats can take it out of you, physically and spiritually. He or she may not know how he or she feels at that point. Assure them that's okay.
• He or she either learned new facts about the faith or are trying to convince himself or herself they haven't learned anything. Assure them that retreats affect people differently.
• The person to whom you are writing may disagree with or dislike something about the faith. Encourage them to ask questions of the priest, if you suspect this is the case. Remind them to remain calm and polite when doing this. Discussion is good, but hostility will produce skewed results.
• Quotes are used so often because smart people pack HUMONGOUS messages in succinct, profound nuggets. Before you start your letter, pick a few quotes or Bible verses that embody what you'd want to hear at a retreat. You may be surprised by what comes out of your pen without aid and may not need to use the quotes/verses... but it doesn't hurt to have them if you need them.