Tuesday, November 2, 2010

99.7% Unnecessary

Today we're looking at a vibrant day of electing, voting, last-minute campaigning, voter intimidating and words, words, words everywhere. I want to make my stance very clear:

I am anti-antibacterial gel.

I said it and yes, maybe that makes me part of the party of "NO," but I have always scoffed at it. It's 99.7% effective at evaporating off your skin. It dries out your hands and it stinks. If I could have a dollar for every brain cell I lost because of breathing that stuff in, well, I would keep sniffing it because I would eventually get rich enough to make smarts inconsequential.


When I was in middle school, Bath & Body Works was making a mint off of girls. We just bought each other multiple sets of flavored soaps, shampoos and HAND SANITIZER. I remember one birthday, these gifts were, quite seriously, the only gifts I received. I just threw out the last bottle. Of soap, I threw out the hand sanitizer immediately because it's dumb.

This is not a scientific blog, which means I may get in trouble with Public Health majors. However, I do know "they" say people who use this cold liquid regularly contract colds regularly. Immune system, schmimmune system, the little squirt bottle says.

My vendetta against hand sanitizer is more relevant during Mass. Every Catholic church I've visited since the Pig disease swine flu H1N1 virus hit the US requires Eucharistic ministers to "wash their hands" before coming to the altar. This does make me giggle, watching the adult members of the parish simultaneously rubbing their hands around and around next to altar table. It is funny.

Because they're purifying themselves so they can touch GOD.

Rather than spell out the obvious, I'll turn to the All Saints Day readings for this year:

“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress; they have washed their robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.” Rv 7:14

My priest blew his nose on a handkerchief before the Eucharistic ministers walked up. No, he didn't squirt squirt squirt from the clear alcohol gel bottle. He went on with his duty of passing around our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to his Brothers and Sisters. I took my host directly from him today and I feel great.

We didn't have the 1st graders today. No school = no religious ed :( One more week :)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Considering commenting? Indulge the urge!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...