Lenten Letters

I live by the guideline that sharing what you are giving up for Lent overrides the sacrifice of whatever you're giving up. I think you've already gotten your reward when you start telling people about your sacrifice...

However, I'm pretty excited about one of these Lenten goals I have, so I will share! As you may know, I get to marry by best friend, the man God made for me, in May. That means I change my name in less than four months and I have to start hoping all of these kind free-address-label people will start sending me new return address stickers.

But what to do with all of these?

Years of collecting these stickers has left me with a hefty pile of stickers that will be out-of-date once summer rolls around. What a waste! Or is it?

Hear ye, friends o'mine. I am going to do my very best to use up as many of these stickers as possible and get in touch with old friends through the beautifully lost art of writing letters during Lent. It's time for me to strengthen my relationships prior to getting married. I'd say it's a good habit I should already have under my belt and I'll start with Lent.

If you want a postcard or letter from me, please comment below (making sure your email address is attached to it, but don't put it IN the comment) and I will do my best to reach you!

Reconnecting with friends. That's how I will #LiveLent.

Marx Sisters

SAHM vs. WOOTHM

The Mother's Dilemma by Julie at The Corner with a View
On Motherhood by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

Marx Sisters by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

I have the typical, boring opinion on the question of "Should moms stay at home or work outside of the home?" Just like some women are called to a single vocation, some are called to the religious life, and some are called to married life, I believe we are called to contribute to our families in different ways.

Of course, I still believe we are biologically better-equipped for some duties within a marital household, namely those related to bearing and raising children, but men have a great importance in that area as well.

La dee dah, see? Boring and very politically correct.

So let's talk about Marxist Feminist theory instead.

Bigger, more skirt, please.

I've watched six episodes of "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" in the last two weeks. These people fascinate me and before I write you a dissertation about them, I'll to focus on their strict adherence to traditional family roles. Women marry quite young, some as young as sixteen, and enter a life similar to every "traveller" wife: one centered on taking care of the husband, cooking, child-rearing, and extensive cleaning.

Seriously, these women put sponge to every surface of their homes, everyday. I've never seen anything like it.

Their husbands earn the money, have a lot of fun at pubs, and, in their words, "own" their wives. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and anthropologically point out that we do not have a full understanding of their culture in order to call this regressive or stunted. It's vital we also point out how extremely rare divorce is in their culture.

Marxist Feminist theory feels responsible for sticking up for women after centuries of what its troubadours believe to be wrongful oppression based on societal structure (rather than any relation to biology). This theory holds that a patriarchal, capitalist society demeans women because it enslaves them in the home to perform duties for free that men would otherwise have to hire employees to complete.

Old-timey headache

Marxist Feminists believe women are not properly compensated for the traditional roles they hold, so its supporters believe that as many inequalities between men and women should be flattened out as possible. In other words, it seems these theorists would be at least partially happy to see women receive salaries from their husbands, appropriate for the work they do in the home.

Call me crazy, but that sounds like capitalism more than Marxism.

Here, Marxists try to explain, in capitalist vocabulary, their belief that a lower value is placed on a woman's day than a man's and the translation is muddled.

The lasting issue with this theory is that it discourages women from entering a lifestyle Marxist Feminists define as the poorly-valued role, a stay at home mother. Marxist Feminist theory states that, no, it was the  patriarchal, capitalist society that shaped the role to be lower.

However, because the Marxist theory presents no alternative, they shame women away from being stay at home mothers, lest these women accept a shameful label of settling for a regressive lifestyle.

If a card-carrying Marxist Feminist could get their hands on one of these gypsy girls before walking down the aisle in her teens, he or she would try to convince the bride that her life can have more meaning in the eyes of the men of this world. If she could just NOT perform the slave duties thrust upon her as a wife and stay at home, cleaning, cooking mother, she could be much happier and more highly-valued.

Apart from the point that some of these women really do want to live their vocation in the traditional way, perhaps the young bride would have sense enough to point out the unspoken enslavement of the crazed person trying to shake her into the 21st century.

If you're doing something to spite someone else or to be seen as more valuable in the eyes of a society, who's the real slave?

Crabcakes and Football

Go to ConversionDiary.com for more!

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Slow and steady wins back their blogging brain.

I have exciting news and I'm going to continue writing quick takes until I decide whether or not to tell you....go ahead and guess.

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Have you listened to the Bright Maidens' interview with Pat Gohn yet?

Click to listen to Part 2

In the first one we discussed a myriad of topics that we believe are important to Catholic young adults. In this, the second one, we spent a great deal of time talking about... sex. And virginity, and recycled virginity, and our identity as such.

It really turns into honest girl talk, so men, if you've ever wanted to be a fly on the wall of a sleepover, this is your chance.

*3*

Exciting news hint: it is one reason why I have been posting infrequently/not posting. Seriously, try to guess! #CathSorority girls aren't allowed to guess.

*4*

Click to buy it on Amazon

In the last week, I have listened to my church's 1997 recording of our Song of Mark production at least 20 times. It's a stellar musical and I highly recommend buying the CD and/or asking your music minister if they'd consider producing this play at your parish.

I know all of the people with lead roles, so I'm tempted to go to Mass on Monday and embarrass them with compliments about how I have their voices stuck in my head.

One of the children in the production who had a solo is one of my oldest friends and was 10 years old when her beautiful little voice sang the Good News. She now has a three-year-old girl and a month-old baby boy.

Time flies.

*5*

My cousin and her awesome boyfriend had a fun idea for a wedding present with a personal touch. Cousin's-Awesome-Boyfriend salvaged and split a beautiful piece of wood, so that it has a flat surface for painting.

Selfishly, I'm eager to help them because it will help me get back into painting and creating art. They want me to paint a big crab on this, similar to the picture, and insert the words "Crabcakes and football: That's what Maryland DOES!"

My canvas. Wood, I'm turning you into a crab.

What a creative wedding gift! I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it. I'll post some pictures of my progress later.

*6*

My exciting news will compel me to move to a different city. Bittersweet.

I decided I'd reveal my exciting news in its own post. So guess, guess, guess!

*7*

Don't forget to join the Bright Maidens for this week's topic on stay-at-home-moms and working-out-of-the-home moms.

In case you were wondering, we had this one planned before Lent began, so it's a coincidence that the whole Ann Romney/Hilary Rosen thing blew up recently. You're welcome to reflect on that, if you haven't already, but that wasn't our aim.

Trista's post, "On Motherhood"
Lynsey's post, "WOHM vs. SAHM"
Mandi's post, "Stay at Home Mom vs. Working Mom"
Lisa's post, "The Best Job in the World"

OMG[osh], What did she say?!

The Bright Maidens are back and this time we're talking about ... SEX. We discuss sex, virginity, recycled virginity, women, the value of sexuality the value of being a child of God and a brother and sister in Christ, and TOB in terms of respecting life and pro-life issues.

I haven't listened to this week's Among Women podcast all the way through yet, so I'm a little nervous about what Pat Gohn edited in and out. Our conversation for Part 2 was about an hour long, but it's much shorter in the podcast version.

I'm more than a little nervous.

UPDATE: "It's really hard out there. It's really hard. To be a virgin in the 21st century takes heroic courage. It takes the grace of a saint to live the life that we're talking about here." -Pat Gohn

Let me know what you think!! LISTEN HERE. Our part of the interview is about one-third of the way through the podcast.

Bright Maidens on Among Women, Part 1

Friends, the Bright Maidens have an exciting announcement! The lovely Pat Gohn of Among Women kindly invited the three Bright Maidens (Julie, Trista, and Elizabeth) to sit down with her for the podcast!

As you may know, St. Hildegard of Bingen is the Bright Maidens patron saint, so Pat Gohn shares a great deal of wonderful insight on this powerful saint!

We had so much to discuss that we will be in TWO (count 'em: one, two) podcasts. We get into girl talk, a few points that we believe affect young Catholic women today, and a few... surprises. Check it out! Here is the first installment.

Alpha Delta Upsilon Lambda Tau

Admonishing the Sinner

Julie at The Corner with a View
Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

I hate this one. I hate it because I've been admonished for things in the past.

At which point in our lives have we been admonished most often for our sin? Childhood.

And we're all under the false impression that onset at age 14 or so that we're past a "stage" of being admonished. Graduating to the next stage is like being inducted into a life fraternity:

"Welcome to the club, fellow adult. Now that you're one of us, follow our lead, turn around and give those younger folks a piece of your mind. This is how it works."

By virtue of having more birthdays or making a few responsible life choices, we feel we've crossed a divide and so unwarranted advice or admonishments fall on adultified, deaf ears.

Beyond the Huckleberry Finn, pseudo-adulthood syndrome from which we all suffer, we get defensive when someone admonishes us.

If my sister calls me out on gossiping, I am ready with a quick retort about how I've heard her gossiping, cussing, maliciously hiding small mousetraps in the cereal boxes, or putting salt in the sugar jar. Don't you dare tell me I'm doing something wrong when I can easily find dozens of things YOU do wrong. So there.

Both of these mindsets, wolves in sheep's clothing, sound pretty childish when written out. See? I'm admonishing myself right now. The truly Adult Club way of handling an admonishing situation is to take a deep breath, ask myself if the person point out my faults might be right, as annoying as that might be, and correcting my behavior.

Often the only people who feel comfortable admonishing us also Love us -- which, as any Peter Pan can tell you, makes it all the more annoying and hard to hear. However, in Loving us, they also wish us to be better. That's a valiant truth about relationships, adult or otherwise.

When it comes to admonishing those who don't know that well or stepping out of our comfort zone to admonish others on more serious sins, we listen to the Holy Spirit. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if your actions are "Loving," one way or another.

Would it be Loving of me to yell out across the road to the pro-choicers standing and holding their signs in front of an abortion clinic that they are advocating for murder of innocent babies? Would that do more harm than good? Should I engage in a dialogue with them, instead?

I venture to determine that, in most cases, the Holy Spirit, wouldn't ask someone to use hurtful, loud words in this situation. It might depend on the personality of the "admonisher" on how exactly to handle a situation like this, but that the Holy Spirit would assuredly ask us to be Loving in our actions.

As an active member of Alpha Delta Upsilon Lambda Tau, I vow to try to remember the Holy Spirit is the real helper in these moments. God will give me the grace to handle them the way He wishes, both when receiving and dolling out the admonishments.

It's my job to remain like a child.

Instruct the Uninformed - 7QT, Volume 54

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Have you ever been an Extraordinary Minister? What we used to call "Eucharistic Ministers," we should now call "Extraordinary Ministers." That is my first instruction in this 7 Quick Takes version of this week's Bright Maiden's topic on the first Spiritual Work of Mercy, "Instruct the Uninformed."

This is a tough task to ask of people trying to attract others to the Faith. To "instruct the uninformed" or to "instruct the ignorant," as it is often stated, sounds arrogant. As if we must bless others with the knowledge we have and they go without. But how often do we welcome instruction when we really need it?

Isn't that what all of those college loans are for? Aren't you glad to learn the tips and tricks you find on how to make life easier on Pinterest? When you're unsure about something, don't you wish someone would just set the record straight?

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This is where we come in. Extraordinary Ministers hold the great position of distributing the Eucharist to His people. We actually give Jesus to hundreds of people.

"This is the Body of Christ" -- Words of true weight pass our lips for fifteen minutes.

So what do you do when someone approaches you and obviously doesn't know what you're about to give them?

In most situations (ie, apathetic teens), we can only instruct with "This is the Body of Christ," saying it with purpose. However, when someone is chewing gum, they are obviously ignorant of what they're doing and unprepared to receive the Eucharist.

A fellow EM of mine says that when a parishioner approaches him with gum showing in the corners of their mouth, he leans down and says, "I can't serve you with gum in your mouth. Go spit it out and then get back in line, please."

It sounds harsh, but those who chew gum moments before receiving the Eucharist really shouldn't receive at all. They haven't prepared for it. However, that moment is a moment wherein this person could completely turn away from the Church out of embarrassment or recognize that this EM is giving them a second chance.

Then they work out the rest with God.

*3*

One of my biggest pet peeves as an EM is a silly little ritual many parishioners at my church go through and I would love your input on how to handle it. Several married couples will approach me together, wait for me to give them both the Eucharist, and then receive it together.

ARGH! I should be concentrating on ministering, and I usually snap back into it. Quite frankly, when they stand side-by-side, I think, "Y'all are consuming the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with EVERYONE who has ever consumed the Eucharist! You're in full Communion with Christ! Why do you feel you have to add this extra bit of 'specialness?'"

I've settled on the decision to just administer to the Eucharist to these folks rather than whispering, "I'll serve you, one at a time." What do you think we should do in this case, Extraordinary Ministers out there? Is this silly to you or are you ready to throw a punch at me?

*4*

A friend once went to Mass and sat behind a young boy who, upon returning from the Eucharist line, proceeded to rip the Eucharist wafer into little pieces and tossing them into the air. He caught the pieces and threw them up in the air again.

Horrified, my friend's husband asked the boy if he was going to consume the Eucharist, while the boy's mom sat a few feet away.

It made no disturbance in the pew, my friend held out his hand as the boy poured the pieces into his hand, and he consumed it.

This is instructing the ignorant.

*5*

On twitter the other day, a self-proclaimed "holiday Catholic" said he was going to get the "crackers and wine" and he needed to find a place to get them and ashes.

Because Twitter is a great e-vangelizing forum, even if our efforts there only plant seeds, I decided to reach out. My first thought on this one was, "Why do you care to go at all if you think they're crackers and wine?" I corrected him and wished him good fortune in finding a place he liked. These are easy ways to instruct the uninformed because we don't have the direct confrontation.

*6*

Another Twitter encounter occurred the other day between me, Kate, Karianna, and "Feminist Breeder." You can see some of those points here and here.

The Catholic Church is not anti-gay, as Feminist Breeder was saying, and we wanted to set her straight. Karianna said, "Anti-gay not fair. Catholicism calls for all singles to remain chaste, gay or not." Kate followed up with, "And sin is sin, we're all equally sinful - Church is anti-sin, not anti-gay."


We need to inform those who think poorly of the Catholic Church as well as those who are tossing pieces of Jesus into the air at Mass.

*7*

I don't know whether or not my roommate thinks poorly of the Catholic Church, but I don't think she was familiar with Natural Family Planning methods. The other day, I told my new roommate that I am interested in using NFP as a wife and she said, "Is that like biorhythms?"

Thanks to folks like Katie, I got to explain to her, no, NFP is not like the rhythm method anymore. I explained that the rhythm method was used back in the 1930s and that we know a lot more about how best to avoid or to achieve pregnancy while keeping God in our bedrooms.

I also used the opportunity to explain that most of the methods are at least 97% effective when used properly (which relies on married couples communicating -- another benefit), which is far more promising than something like condoms. The error margin of condom use increases exponentially with every use (statisticians, help me learn how best to explain this, please!), while NFP methods remain effective as long as couples chart and communicate.

Every little conversation plants a seed and every little bit of ignorance we can rub out of the world leaves more opportunities for the Lord to work. This is our calling!

Combining Gilbert and Wentworth

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Yes, I'm cheating by doing this in Quick Takes form... a week after the topic was published.

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This topic was meant to be a light one, just in time for Valentine's Day, because no matter your vocation or marital status, there have been and always will be literary men in your life. As Liesl explained in her literary crush piece, "Excuse me while I swoon:" 

I think one of the things I have learned most from my literary crushes is not that they have shaped my heart, but that they show me what is already imprinted on my heart.

We are who God created us to be when He first knew us, before He formed us in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5). We are His children, at our core, no matter what additional outer layers we allow others or the world to attach to us.

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When you KNEW you could fly

My college art show focused on a related phenomenon: the concept of memory and how your life changes and experiences change your perspective on memories.

For instance, Anne of Green Gables was one of my first chapter books. Therefore, my perspective as a 5 or 6-year-old reading about Anne's contentious relationship with Gilbert Blythe was simplified. I might have picked up on their undertones, but I certainly didn't analyze it and try to apply my results to my own life like I did as a teen.

My perspective as a happy, confident, and in-Love 24-year-old reading this classic is less analytical and involves far more guffaws at some of my previously similar behaviors. Oh Anne, you're almost as clueless as I was a few years ago!

I can only imagine that I will revisit my 24-year-old perspective as an older woman and share a few more guffaws with and at myself. It's a cycle, folks, so embrace it!

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Say a prayer that everyone may shed the extra layers

This whole concept rests on the notion that we are who God created us to be at our core. My favorite quick quote is JP2's "Family, become what you are." As Catholic Christians, we believe God created our souls and and gave them a home in our bodies.

Our souls should come first in the health pecking order, but many times we feed our body and our pleasures first.

Throughout our lives, we pack on outer layers of junk. I know I formed some weird habits during my tween to teen years. We all add habits and mannerisms to ourselves in order to fit in or do what we think will be best for us. Unfortunately, this is often only "best" for us in our pleasure-seeking short term.

Praise God, we're still US at our core. Through discernment, prayer, the will of God, and sometimes an Ah-Ha moment, we can shed these outer layers and reveal who we were created to be.

*4*

This inner person, the core, is the one with whom others fall in Love! This is who Gilbert noticed about Anne, not her red hair or temper. I believe he fell for the passion that motivated the temper.

Captain Wentworth tried his best to forget about his Anne, the one who broke his heart. He thought he healed from the romance bruise, but as soon as he saw her again, seven years later, and noticed her resolve, clear-headedness, and strength, he shed the blinders.

Julie, Liesl, and Sarah mentioned these fine fellows, and rightly so. I used to think that I Loved Gilbert because he was just a nice, intelligent country boy who is part of an example of an iconic Love story. I once thought I swooned over Capt. Wentworth because he secretly pined over Anne and then wrote a beautiful letter to make his affection known.

It's both more complex and more simple than that: they Loved their Annes to their core and recognized the lovable qualities buried deep in them. Once more, swoon with me. This is why they are so swoon-worthy. Gilbert embraced Anne's Anne-ness from the beginning and Capt. Wentworth couldn't fall out of Love with his Anne, even after years and distance.

These are the men we want, ladies. Go find them.

To the brave

March for Life Reflection

Julie at The Corner with a View
"March for Life Reflection" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"To the Brave" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

This one goes out to the brave. Thank you, women in mourning, who consistently share with us your heartbreaking stories of decades of pain.

Thank you for opening wounds with us that took years to acknowledge, let alone to heal.

This year I spent the March for Life doing what most of my fellow defenders of the sanctity of human life were doing: trudging through another work day, wishing I was marching among my brothers and sisters.

God knows I'm grateful for my job and that many who are not as fortunate as I am were homebound on Monday as well. I just wish I could have joined the voices and the media-slighted crowd.

Two years ago I was here in DC for an internship on the day of the march. I awoke with my normal routine, begrudgingly aware that I couldn't pound the pavement with the pro-life strangers, and walked toward the Metro station. I boarded a train bursting with the normal commuters, briefcases and cell phone chimes.

But when I exited for my stop, I noticed one woman carrying a sign as she de-trained with me. She was the only marcher in our train car and her sign was far too big to conceal.

She carried this sign

I don't know if she was one of the women behind the micro or megaphones that day, with thousands of voices to support her in sharing her story, but here she was in the middle of a DC commuter's morning, witnessing without the rest of the choir.

I can't imagine the pain of cooping with a decision to abort a child and I certainly can't imagine the kind of retribution she could have faced in risking to carry that sign as she traveled alone. That morning, I wanted to give a stranger a hug and to thank her.

When I returned home from my internship in DC, I started volunteering for Rachel's Vineyard. I encourage everyone to visit their website, inquire with your diocese about opportunities in your area, to donate (if you feel so called), and to volunteer.

You don't have to be one of the counselors in the room to give aid to the effort to provide a safe environment for post-abortive fathers and mothers. You can offer up the tedious but necessary jobs like cooking, setting up, and cleaning up.

The pro-life movement needs to be an activist movement for healing as well as a forward movement for saving lives. Consider helping with this wing!

Chastity Carnal-val

Review: The Virgin Diaries on TLC

"Kiss the Girl!" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"The Absolutely True Diary of a Virgin" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Chastity Carnal-val" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

The greatest on-screen defense of chastity I've seen was in episode 12, season 4 of House, MD. The episode featured a Hasidic Jewish bride who collapsed at her wedding. The Hasidic duo were unable to consummate the marriage due to medical tests and certainly had not touched prior to their wedding day.

At one point, the bride was in shorts and a tank top for a medical test and her new husband said he needed to respect her and look away while she was in such a state. He said he imagines his wife thought the first time he would see her "bare" would be in the bedroom, "celebrating their marriage."

A doctor politely said, "Given the circumstances, I'm sure Roz would sacrifice her modesty to have you with her." To which the new groom replied:

"Please, don't do that...You think it's sweet that I care for her modesty, but that it's archaic and ultimately irrelevant. Our traditions aren't just blind rituals. They mean something, they have purpose. I respect my wife. And I respect her body."

I'd much rather see more bows in respect for those values in secular television shows than the spectacle of "Virgin Diaries," which looks like a carnival for unsexed folks.

Let's be honest, because I'm a virgin who hopes more people might find fulfillment in chastity, I'm going to be defensive about a "reality show" on a cable network showcasing virgins.

Another showcase: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding show

I admit, as I've never been all of the way on the other side of the "aisle" on this topic, my opinion is tainted. However, if we can rely on statistics as a guide, the opinions of the producers, feature reporters and much of the laughing audience are also tainted.

To clarify: I'm not condemning those who don't choose a chaste lifestyle. Believe me, I don't always get it right, and it would be wrong to think I could ever know anyone else's mindset or situation.

How easy it is to get fired up over this television show. Watching the commentary and talk show hosts banter on about it makes it obvious that this country, and probably the world, seems to think the people in this show are to be giggled at.

"If it's half as good as the promo, I think they have a very big hit on their hands," said Jimmy Kimmel.

Bingo. It's a hit. The unbearably uncomfortable few seconds of first kiss footage were a producer’s dream!

Just like the iPad solved the chunky laptop problem for a moment and Blueray raises the standard for home movies, someone came along with an idea for a new television show to attract audiences.

Why do people like to watch the Jersey Shore? Because they are outliers to the rest of us who don't know what that world is like. The concept of choosing (or not successfully pursuing) a premarital sex life is as bizarre to most Americans as the frosted-tip-orange-skin-rude-behavior lifestyle is to me.

We could be the virgin version of these fine people

Being a virgin after the first semester of college is a mythical lifestyle.

I have not seen an episode of the show all the way through, but I've watched the TLC-made promotional videos and the episode teasers. In one, we see the couple walking hand-in-hand, discussing the process of their wedding night, from wedding attire, step-by-step until they consummate their marriage, intermittently cut between scenes of them on a see-saw.

Please, TLC. I know you've hit network gold with this foreign concept, but handle it with a little professionalism and intelligence. See-saw?

If I put myself in the shoes of those who find the concept laughable, I can understand their grinning quips about how the newlyweds “can't keep their hands off each other” after the exchange of vows. However, if I may put my cynicism hat on, this reaction shows that it is hard to believe this show can ever be a helpful tool for those who want to share about the benefits of chastity.

We virgins who choose to abstain before marriage aren’t simply “keeping our hands off each other” -- it’s just too hard to do so blindly, especially in the twenty-first century. I know I'm trying to make a gift of myself in the most intimate way possible, to one man. Alice von Hildebrand calls it the "intimate sphere," because the terms "sex" and "making Love" have lost impact.

When I think about how supremely personal the "intimate sphere" will be, I can't imagine why these two virgins would volunteer a camera to document the final weeks and moments leading up to it, leaving the interpretation of an innocent jaunt on a see-saw to the editors.

I guess it's still up to those in the trenches to spread the message, via grassroots.

The Mount

Moments that remind us God fully exists

"Let the Rain Fall" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Little Moments" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"The Mount" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

I blog.

Blogging is a lifestyle, not just a practice involving drafts, HTML, and comment boxes. When you blog, you start seeing life through the scope of your writing capabilities.

Bloggers get to a point wherein every lesson they learn must be assessed: can I share this with the world on my blog? Will I do it justice? Should I just jot down this thought on my napkin while no one is looking?

That point sneaks up on you until one day you have a really great cry, or your talking with your best friend about something you've never discussed with anyone, and you think, "I need to blog about this."

It's a similar problem that plagues Christians (the bloggers and non-bloggers alike) in their daily lives. I know my mind is littered with mental notes of the "perfect" analogy, or the "best" examples of Christian living, set aside to pull out in the middle of a discussion.

We get so wrapped up in the path we took to grow our relationship with Christ and want to share it with others that we forget that the Holy Spirit is at work all day, everyday. We start to judge, accuse, get comfortable, get lazy, and go through the motions.

In cases such as these, in His infinite wisdom, God provides for us His vast expanse of nature.

Mt. Rainier (I don't own this picture)

When I traveled to Seattle and my beau joined me for a four day Northwestern excursion, we spent an entire day around Mt. Rainier. Upon arrival, the day was chilly due to cloud cover, but not enough for a jacket on the hike.

It's no mistake that much of Jesus' greatest work was accomplished outside, e.g., feeding the 5000, Beatitudes, Crucifixion, etc. The great outdoors opens the scope for larger crowds and a reminder of Original Man's surroundings.

Rather than slipping into an 8th grade poem about crisp air, clear blue sky, white mountain tops and ... oops, we're already there.

There is no virtual reality game for hiking or walking around without the whuushhh of cars rushing by while you stare off the edge of a cliff in the presence of a snow-covered mountain in July.

It would be like trying to describe the vast experience of a conversion or enlightenment by explaining the wallpaper in the room one was sitting in when it happened.

"Then the LORD said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire—but the LORD was not in the fire; after the fire, a light silent sound..." 1 Kings 19: 11-12

When we ascended the mountain, with the iconic Rainier peak to our left and green-carpeted mountain piles on our right, a warm wind picked up. It slowly nudged the clouds over our heads and beyond our sight.

The sun emerged without threat of straggling cloud when we started descending the other side of the trail, illuminating the landscape and strengthening the color contrasts. In one [panting] moment at the high point of the trail, I felt God in the wind.

I grabbed a pen (still not free of the blogger's crutch) and wrote this down, my leg as my clipboard:

He makes it so obvious to us and people still won't recognize Him. Post about spiritual dry spells vs dry rainforests. You don't realize how you could not see Him when it's wet. The opposite when it's dry.

I certainly don't have it figured out and my homage to the spiritual jump-start I got that day at Mt. Rainer is to avoid describing it. Rather than belittling it, I just encourage anyone who is physically able to climb away from daily life, to do so.

Go somewhere you can watch out for Him and listen for Him.

Hold your tongues

PDA in the Digital Age

by Julie at The Corner with a View
Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite will be sitting out this week.

"Hold your tongues" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

We've all clicked through more Facebook photo albums than we care to admit.

Perhaps you're more disciplined than I am, but I remember when Facebook first allowed Photo Albums back in the fall of 2005 and I stayed up until 3:00 in the morning, clicking through random photos. What a stalker I "was."

Even today, though the nuance of Facebook and photo albums has worn thin, I find myself perusing a few photo albums of people I barely know. Call me creepy, but I say Facebook has opened a whole new scope for amateur sociology and I eat it up. The colors, the creative Halloween costumes, the photos of places I wish I could go, happy wedding and baby photos of those I haven't seen in years. I just can't get enough of the pictures!

One sure way to get me to click away, especially when I was lovesick and single, was when a Facebook friend posts a MySpace-style photo of a smoochfest from an arm's length away. Yup, a split-second look at two (usually young and freshly dating) folks exchanging a kiss just seems out of place in my admittedly liberal dose of photo perusing.

Many couples post pictures of kiss exchanges between them and their new spouses in their wedding photos and these are quite touching. They seem like moments of ecstasy, captured by someone invited or hired to document the day.

I'm not writing to condemn others for the random kissing photo in our digitized world. Some are simply more comfortable with flaunting their physical love for their significant other than I am.

The Facebook generation has fewer inhibitions to their privacy and the camp seems to be split: is Facebook PDA better, worse, or the same as in-person PDA? Perhaps we shouldn't be looking at photos of our friends if we're not prepared to see their tongues. Or perhaps we should think about why we're posting a play-by-play of our tonsil hockey on Facebook.

Most people posting these photos are probably not boiling down their entire relationship to one kissy photo, but that's one of the impressions it gives: This is how we love each other, isn't it cute? I would suggest they consider the potential pain of "detaging" or deleting those photos if the relationship were to end, knowing that they can neither "detag" nor delete the image from onlookers' eyes and minds.

Just because you're on the Internet and you cannot physically see other people does not mean the rest of the world ceases to exist. We're all humans out here and those who tend to interact with more people through the Interwebs would do well to remember that.

Suspicious Superstitions?

Scapulars

"Mel Gibson and Me" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"I Feel Weird" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"Suspicious Superstitions?" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day
"Guest Post: Scapulars are Distractors from What’s Really Important" by B.

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

I never realized how superstitious Italians and Irishmen are. They are also very proud people, so I'll be clear: I get to say this because I'm both Irish and Italian (with German, for good measure).

Italians will not drink with out clinking glasses and you must take a sip from the glass before setting it down after clinking. It's an involved process and must be handled with care. One must never toast with a glass of water in this exchange, however, because that is bad luck and will have a table-full of nervous Italians trading glances.

The Irish believe that a deceased aerospace engineer has it out for them. Edward Murphy, Jr., they say, preys on the Irish through his rule, Murphy's Law. "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." There are many other superstitions involving bad omens that prey on the Irish. For instance, did you know women with red hair are most unlucky?

Is she unlucky? Or just unwise...

That is, as they say, the luck of the Irish.

Though I think superstitions are mostly silly and pessimistic, many stress that they can be dangerous if one truly believes the minute act causes a rip in the universal order of "luck." If superstitious people honestly think that having red hair or toasting with water in one's goblet will result in misfortune, they excuse a certain amount of faith in God and natural order.

This is what makes people so uneasy about the idea of a scapular. The item resembling a necklace, if worn at the time of death, is said to be a "ticket to Heaven." Using this kind of language closes the proverbial door on discussion because it seems obviously superstitious.

"Take, beloved son, this scapular of the order as a badge of my confraternity and for you and all Carmelites a special sign of grace; whoever dies in this garment, will not suffer everlasting fire. It is the sign of salvation, a safeguard in dangers, a pledge of peace and of the covenant" -Our Lady of Mt. Carmel to St. Simon Stock, 16 July 1251

I once wrote it off as superstitious and if I had worn a scapular anyway, I wonder if that would have been sinful. If I'm wearing it with false faith, I'm not really wearing it as a "badge of confraternity," and I'm therefore trying to avoid the pain of hell without the desire to be in union with God.

A scapular played a triumphant role in my reversion, but that's another story. When I wore it that day, I wore it with a profound faith that Mary would not have lied if she had made this promise. I was trying to turn back to God and my faith was in faith alone, though I was holding on by a thread.

I understand why people would object to the practice of wearing a scapular. As Catholic Christians, we believe, as the Bible explains, we will be judged for our faith and works (Romans 2:6, etc). It seems almost "unfair" that someone would bypass the system when it seems their only motivation is to avoid hell in the easiest way.

I argue that wearing a scapular with the believe in Mary's promise is an act of faith, and is therefore an expression of both faith and works.

What other ways do we believe lead us to Jesus' merciful judgment to bring us into Heaven? We believe our job as a spouse is to bring each other to Heaven. We believe parents are meant to lead their children to a path to Heaven. We believe that absolution of sin heals us as much as we can be healed on Earth, and in effect, if we were to die immediately after leaving a good confession session, we trust we'd go to Heaven.

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'" -John 14:6

It all comes down to God's mercy and we should never presume we can limit it by determining we know who goes to Heaven and who goes to hell. We can have faith that our loved ones are in Heaven, but absolute statements about those going to hell take on God's role.

Discern it, reflect on Mary's words, and listen to see if God is calling you to wear an outward sign of faith. Perhaps wearing one will be a reminder to behave more like the person God created you to be.

Easy Bake Love Story

Emotional Chastity

"Cootie shots and conundrums" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Daydream Believers and Emotional Disasters" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

My parents have the most intimidating Love story.

They knew each other when they were in elementary school, my dad took my mom out on her first date (refusing to kiss her at the end of the night), they did not date each other throughout high school or college, he drove her from their mutual college alma mater back home several times (refusing to give rides to other friends so he could have her company to himself), and met up again at a party several years later. They married a year to the date of that party.

It's the kind of story that makes little girls swoon, hope for, and expect for their lives. They make plastic chicken in their miniature kitchens, tend to sick babydolls, and imagine writing and illustrating the World's Greatest Storybook, while their fictitious husbands wait in the ethos.

At least, that's the way I handled it. It has only been in the last year that I realized this was the bar I had set for my life, many years ago.

Results NOT TYPICAL

"But that is an adorable story. One with adolescence, romance, Love, and destiny."

Yes, thank you, mom and dad, for telling it so many times that I may know where I began and that a romantic Love can overtake you like a wave.

However, like when I added two packets of Easy Bake Oven cake mix to the three diameter pan, sometimes too much of a good thing makes a cake bubble around a light bulb. Too much of a good thing digs a path labeled "Means to an End."

Since the beginning of our Bright Maidens journey, we've spent considerable time discussing the clothes we put on our bodies, the way we carry our bodies, and why and why not to keep them to ourselves instead of sharing the intimate details with others. Theology of the Body, in fact, is a misleading term.

We choose to respect the profound importance of our bodies because we learned the deep appreciation and respect for who we are and what we have to give. So why do we have so many good young women falling victim to the wrong side of emotional, intellectual challenges?

Because we desire Love. We were created for it and we yearn for it. We just need to flip the patience switch.

Kids started "going out" in fourth grade at my elementary school, so the yearning started before the boys were even tall enough to be in my line of vision. Even as a kid who walked around with scrapes on her knees from playing soccer at recess, I felt like something must be wrong with me that no ten-year-old boy wanted to sit awkwardly next to me and share my glue stick.

They got to the serious stuff in middle school, where relationships lasted up to three months and consisted of hand-holding (creating that wide V between the tweens avoiding any contact other than sweaty palms). No "boyfriend" for me, though my parents' story lingered in my mind.

High school, I thought, that is when I will recognize my clandestine future.

By the time high school rolled around, the girls became women, the boys became ... grown up boys, and the relationships speckled the gossip mill. The weeks rotated between Valentine's Day or VJ Day, depending, as the young women in my all-girls school taped pictures of their boyfriends on the inside of their lockers.

My self-preservation tactic was to print out pictures of my favorite celebrities for my binder covers and to add MiracleGro to an absurd number of crushes. He hadn't arrived yet, so every guy within a preset age range might be him. I needed to stay on high-alert, I thought.

Rather than spending my formative teen years getting to know people as friends who could teach me about life and deepening my faith in God, I took matters into my own emotional hands. It was like I was auctioning off my capacity for Love by investing it in the celebrity photos, in the fantasies featuring my crushes, and in the hope that the guy across the room might be "the one."

I won't volunteer anyone with similar emotional chastity issues to step forward, but I know I'm not the only one who pretended a Love life for a chunk of time.

Who can blame us? We are capable of an unfathomable amount of Love and it's exciting to think we might one day share it with someone else in a day culminating that emotion.

The problem is we expose our hearts to the elements. These are the same hearts we're so eager to give to someone else. If we can't keep a handle on our minds to protect these hearts, we run the risk of having one that looks like it got in a tussle with steel wool to offer to the one for whom we wait.

Female Kryptonite

I have to write my examples in past tense because I don't want to admit to which acute degree I still struggle with this topic, but know that is still on my "to fix" list.

What I have learned is that my increase in happiness is directly correlated to a decrease in romantic presumption. Other people's Love stories do not add to, nor do they take away from yours, so don't speed up the process.

At no point are we "safe" from our over-thinking or romantic projecting. Our defense is a good offense: keep trust in God and that He has a plan rather than forcing a romantic Love story or fantasizing too far beyond reality.

It doesn't get more Easy Bake than letting the Big Guy do the work for you. We just have to be open to it.

Bright Maidens Calendar

Hello folks! I'm alive... for now. I'm just popping in to share with you an exciting development...

The Bright Maidens have created a Google Calendar! We're posting our topics ahead of time, so those who like to plan ahead (my peeps) can be in the know. To receive these calendar updates and to view the calendar in your own calendar, email us here!

Update: Chloe tells me that she clicked on the "+Google Calendar" button at the bottom of this and it added itself to her calendar. Don't you love technology?:

 

Revealing

Sexy vs. Desirable

"I Have Confidence in Confidence Alone!" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Sensible, Courageous, and Very Beautiful" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

I own a dozen cardigans.

My fashion sense has remained unrefined throughout my life, but it has wiggled in and out of levels of modesty.

Let's face it, my mother dressed me for the first ten years. In fifth grade, I struck out for the sake of independence and wore a lot of vests. In high school, I wore a uniform during the day and a swimsuit in the afternoon at practice.

At the beginning of college, I wore a lot of t-shirts and exercise bottoms to class and to the movies with my sober friends. After I began partying, on "going out nights," I wore more revealing, tighter clothing.

"Don't show them everything you've got. Leave some for the imagination," my late grandmother would preach to her granddaughters.

There's some irony here. No, my belly button isn't pierced.

When my sisters, cousins, or I wore a shirt cut too low, my 5'2" grandmother would pace over to us, poke her finger down any cleavage, and chirp, "Woooop!" If this happens, she said, it was time to rethink the clothing choice.

My spunky, slightly inappropriate grandmother wanted others to see her granddaughters for who they are first, not for their packaging.

My woooop-worthy wardrobe progressed like this until I got tired of partying, stopped going out often, and started wearing "adult" clothing to class.

To me, this meant unnecessary layers of drooping fabric, no matter how unflattering. Vague cardigans became my staple.

They say when the economy starts to tank, it takes the skirts down with it. When the economy recovers, mini skirts are all the rage. My clothing choices mirrored my emotional economy directly.

I wanted to become entirely undesirable and unsexy so as not to accidentally use my body for attention.

Rather than placing my worth on my body by revealing more of it, I overcorrected and placed my worth on my body by excessively covering it up. It was a form of punishment for my past by lowering the confidence of my present self.

My earlier begging of "look at me" switched tracks to "look away from me."

As we explored with "The Dress" and "The Interior" posts, God didn't give women gifts unique to our femininity to be ashamed of them. We mustn't disparage the gifts God gave us as dirty and lust-inciting. We are women for a reason and those of us who are called to marriage were made with our husbands in mind.

There is always going to be someone who finds something desirable about you. There is always going to be a characteristic that someone is going to find sexy or desirable. It could be the way you wear your neckline down to your belly button, or it could be the way your glasses flatter your face.

Desirability and sexiness overlap; the distinction is respect for person.

The trick is to avoid letting what you put on your body distract others from your feminine genius. It is also important to avoid letting your clothing distract you from your own feminine genius.

When you're staring at your closet, err on the side of classy rather than sexy. Think refined instead of revealing. Flatter your feminine genius without thinking it resides in your body.

Wooop.

She reigns

Feminine Genius: The Interior

"Made in the Image of God?" by Julie at The Corner with a View
"Peace Within" Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite

"She reigns" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day

The "Bright Maidens" were originally three from the oft-mentioned, widely-speculated upon demographic of young, twenty-something Catholic women. Now, we all take up the cross to dispel the myths and misconceptions. Welcome!

The original Bright Maidens chose this topic to follow last month's topic (Feminine Genius: The Dress) because of the unexpected blow-up in [uncharitable] comments on Julie's blog post. We happen to think some of those who commented were misunderstanding her post's objective, but in an effort to "listen first to understand, then to be understood," we want to explain our full understanding of the Feminine Genius.

"You ain't all that, honey, and all the dresses in the world aren't going to fix what's wrong with you." 

-Anonymous Commenter 2

I still laugh when I reread the comments on Julie's last Bright Maidens post. This offending concluding sentence came at the end of a ramble about good tailoring, an insult to Julie's friend's wardrobe choice, and more random explanations about what makes a woman look her best.

Our Patron

The consensus is this commenter was a female. Comments like the above quote prove that she missed the boat on how to make a woman appear in the best light, ie, not eternally insulting and provocative.

We're all called to serve in Christ's mission. Our mission is to serve for His mission.

Some have God-given musical talents or use humor to serve Him, while others must assume a role through sportsmanship or writing. We use what He gave us, including the gifts of our femininity and masculinity, depending on our sex. The roles of men and women are simply different, not one better or worse than the other.

One major hang up for non-Catholic onlookers (and for some within the Church), is the concept of the woman in the body of the Church. I've heard the lament many times that the Church doesn't treat women well, the stand out reasoning stemming from the ordination of male-only priests.

Have they forgotten our reverence for the Holy Mother of God? Have they forgotten that we refer to the Church as a female body?

Christ died for the Church, just as men "die" (either literally or figuratively) for those they are called to protect. This doesn't mean a man is greater just because he is the same sex as Jesus. It means we have different roles with different service opportunities.

As Bl. John Paul II once wrote, God entrusts people to each and every other person. However, the woman is entrusted with the ability to bear human beings "precisely by reason of their femininity" in a special way.

He went on to explain that the "feminine genius" is the effect of the strength drawn from this awareness and this entrusting. It has been this way since the beginning of time, throughout the Old Testament, especially during the Annunciation, and continues today.

"A woman is strong because of her awareness of this entrusting, strong because of the fact that God 'entrusts the human being to her', always and in every way, even in the situations of social discrimination in which she may find herself. This awareness and this fundamental vocation speak to women of the dignity which they receive from God himself, and this makes them 'strong' and strengthens their vocation." -Bl. John Paul II, "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women on the Occasion of the Marian Year"

The genius of femininity does not take away from the masculine genius anymore than the masculine genius strips power from the feminine genius. The two work in tandem, ideally filling the roles we human beings can possibly fill on Earth. The power is God's.

Let's look at the feminine genius of three very different women in my life: My mother, my confirmation sponsor, and my cousin.

For more by Elaine Golden, visit her site!

My mother utilized the gift of her fertility to bring three daughters into the world, furthering her own genius as well as bringing more of it to light! She constantly serves us, especially in her sacrifice with her job, which she has held for more than twenty years.

Her avocation was to provide for her family and she sacrificed some of her career happiness for us in that regard. On top of that, she offers each of us tailored emotional support and counsel.

My confirmation sponsor has been a family friend and true role model for me all of my life. My sisters and I are her spiritually adopted children, whom she serves with deep love and devotion, for whatever purpose we may need.

This woman is the one who cleans up the table when she's a guest at your house, but will wrestle you to the ground to prevent you from doing the same at her house. She is a humble servant of God through the sacrifices she makes for others.

My cousin is only a few weeks younger than me and, likewise, is unmarried. When my grandmother died in April, she was at the starting gate with a tray of sandwich meats in one hand and a hug waiting on the other arm.

She didn't share blood with my grandmother, but she had grown up with her always present at family events. Her selflessness, helpfulness, sacrifice, and servitude for us during that grieving period was poignantly impressive and a true show of her love for God through us.

As I mentioned in my "Month of the Dress" post, it doesn't matter how feminine we look, whether or not we have borne children, or how good we look doing it. Our "dress" is our service.

It's the consolation of a friend in a time when words won't do the trick. It's the casserole we made when our co-worker loses a family member. It's the laughter we share in with those we love.

It's the glance we posses as we look at the man we love in a way that communicates to him how important he is to our life. It's the softness of our skin when we sit in a nursing home, 40 years beyond the hustle of motherhood.

Through Mary's example, let us pray that we women gain the strength to recognize that which God has entrusted in us.

"For her, 'to reign' is to serve! Her service is 'to reign'!" - Bl. John Paul II about Our Mother Mary in Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women.