Bikini or Biki-no? Part 4 - A Father and Husband's POV

I'm so intrigued by the fact that so many faithful men are asking for women to avoid bikinis. As a refresher, read Palaminko's post and Chase's post (and if you want my first attempt, read mine). Val wrote to me after the 3rd post and offered his perspective as a father, husband, and grandfather.

Hello Elizabeth,

I have come to your post to your post simply because I follow Stacy Trasancos, whom I offer as a character reference.

I make no habit of frequenting women’s sites, or bikini posts, however, for what it is worth, I have a beautiful wife and three lovely adult daughters, all young mothers, so needless to say I have engaged in this debate for many years. My wife, at 56, is a size 6 and frankly would still look great in a bikini. She is a water athlete who loves the ocean, so be advised her decision to avoid bikinis and has nothing to do with being bashful about her figure.

Val's lovely family

The first question I would ask is, is there any functional advantage to wearing a bikini for normal swimming activities? Can’t answer that, never wore one, but based on swimwear for competitive water events the answer is basically inarguable.

The second question I would ask is whether any truly Christian woman believes that she has no culpability for provoking lustful thoughts in a man, or if perhaps she may believe more skin does not equal more potential for provoking the very transparent and predictable (in this area) male mind?

The third question, I am prepared to provide an answer for, and that is, why are men so visual in this area? It seems completely unfair that God would create us with this inherent flaw. Well, I’ve thought a lot about it and prayed a lot about it and here, based on scripture, is what I have come up with. Read Genesis 2:18 – 2:25. God made man in His image and likeness. After creating all of the other creatures, He could not find a suitable partner for man so He made woman, from and for man. And therein lies the difference. Everything about a woman’s body has been tailor made by Almighty God SPECIFICALLY to those specifications that the Father knew would please man. A woman’s hair, her eyes, the shape of her face and body, her voice, the way she moves, the way she thinks and reasons, all of these things have been created to please man.

Consequently, a woman’s body to a man is more than just attractive, it is literally awesome. Like a beautiful sunset or a majestic mountain, woman is God’s gift to man. Now, naturally, this inclination, like all other aspects of human nature has been wounded by original sin. Remember, lust, like every other capital vice is the product of a distorted amplification of things that come naturally to us. God created woman to please man. In return, He intends us to be faithful and loving to the extent that we are to be willing to die for our wives.

Satan, as he always does, has ingeniously twisted the phrase, “to please man” into “for man’s pleasure”. Radically different concepts. Man’s natural preoccupation with the fairer sex is his great Achilles' heel for both Satan AND woman to exploit. Unfortunately society has degenerated to the point where, frankly, most men are lustful.

So let’s cut to the chase here, Elizabeth. A woman’s body is a loaded gun for a lustful man and she can slay most with it any time she wants. ALL women know and understand this. God gave your gender that power over ours to make us better men, not animals. It is a power that you should wield prudently as a Godly woman.

Finally, I speak as a man. The mystery of an attractive, fit, woman in a stylish one piece is MUCH more alluring (not lust provoking) than blatant advertising, because a bikini isn’t about what a woman looks like its about what she THINKS like. A little restraint says to a prospective suitor, “Yep, I’m all that you think I am, fit, healthy, desirable, but unless you are that lucky man that will share life with me, “til death do us part”...you don’t get to find out.

Sincerely, Val (Happily married man saved by the Blood of Christ, 56-year-old father of 10 grandfather of 7 and genuine respectful admirer of the feminine mystique)

PS: If you really want to know what I think of women, read Stacy’s Mother’s Day piece, “We Know”

Emphasis added by me, Elizabeth. Again, this discussion will probably never end, but if you'd like to add your voice (either in response to one post, to the whole discussion or anything), email me.