Monday, March 31, 2014

Elation Hibernation

The sun is coming out, the air is beginning to warm, birds talk to each other between the budding trees.

Hello, again.

Lately I have joked with a few friends and family members about what I call the Elation Hibernation.  Since getting married last spring, I have been fully aware of (and basking in) the Elation Hibernation I have been enjoying with my new husband.  It has been a necessary step in our relationship and in our vocation.

You can find a million places and people around the world who will give you their version of what the first year of marriage looks like.  My husband and I have gotten a continuum of responses, from "If you can make it through the first year, you'll be together forever," to "The first year is the honeymoon stage; just wait."  Boo, I say, to ye negative ninnies!
Hey bear, time to get up!
Image courtesy of Toa55 /

Married life has gotten better and better everyday of this, our first year.  I love him more now than I did when I first realized I was falling for him, than I did when he surprised me by kneeling with my ring in hand, and than I did when I looked at him as if he was the only one in the room while I vowed to be his wife forever.  I have also spent more time with him than any human being on the planet since I was a baby attached at the hip to my mother for those first few months.

We have become expert chefs (in a few dishes), fit runners (well, he was already a ridiculous runner), committed workers (on both our marital choices and employment), movie-cuddlers, and explorers into each other's minds and habits.

I'm blessed with parents and parents-in-law who understand that my husband and I needed to learn about who we are as a family.  They generally wait for us to contact them, which, unlike has been my lifelong habit, means I don't talk to my family for days sometimes.  We are learning about our autonomy. It's a whole new step in the direction of adulthood (am I there yet?) that I didn't see coming.

Warning: ignoring the fact that you're hibernating can alienate you from the outside world.  I became aware of it (though I still delighted in our PJ and movie-watching evenings) and came up for air in the form of reconnecting with good friends.  I'm so grateful to have these friend and family who show us, every time we see them, that they understand with their outstretched arms and interest in our lives.

The next step, as any good sitcom will teach you, is to find great couple friends. We're blessed to have several already and we're working to spread the joy.  God has blessed our marriage with so much Grace that we've both grown in our relationship with Him through our covenant with each other.

Honestly, part of me feels like summarizing with "Sorry I'm not sorry," though I know I could be much more successful at reaching out to others, like we are called to do.  As soon as spring shows up, so will I :) In the meantime, pass the Netflix.

I'd love to hear from the married folks, dating folks, engaged folks, and single folks on this phenomenon.


Liesl said...

You blogged! This is so exciting! :)

So my single lady thoughts - I think I can totally understand this from a "have-not-experienced-it-but-could-totally-see-it-happening-to-me" perspective. And I say go for it (within reason, of course) because you have the time NOW to really spend this time alone with each other (before kids, family obligations, etc.) that you may not get again until you retire. But also from a single lady perspective, I would love if my married friends would "resurface" a bit more - I totally get that your husband is your vocation and that comes first, but it would be nice to see/talk to my married friends every once in awhile! So, don't forget your single friends too, I guess is the moral of my story :)

Liesl said...

I should mention that I do not direct that last point at you but married people in general :) You did let me spend a whole weekend at your house, after all (which I would be totally open to doing again because you and Kevin and fun!)

Elizabeth said...

And we very much enjoyed it, as well :) I agree, married folks forget to resurface for all kinds of friends.

Sarah said...

You basically described my life this year too, sister! There's so much to process and figure out in this transition to life as a married couple that it saps your energy for everything else. Once you've got the foundation started you need to bring that out into the wider Body of Christ, though. I don't want to be That Married Person who ignores her girlfriends, but I'm also working at a balance so my husband doesn't feel neglected. Thanks to all our Netflix, cooking projects, and leftover wedding wine I've definitely put on the "newlywed 15" - we should be MyFitnessPal buddies!

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